Someday, when I look back on my life for the inevitable cable television documentary on A&E/Discovery/Court TV/VH1’s “Hey, Remember the ‘00s?” series, I’ll be able to pinpoint the exact moment that changed my life: when I discovered that you can mount a gun rack on a motorcycle. Combining two manly and unhealthy things in a way that bacon and ice cream just can’t match. But hey, this is the sort of cheesy lone-wolf Wild West cowboy posturing that so befuddles Europeans and guarantees the continuing success of the Three Wolf Moon shirt. As such, we’ll humor the owner with what is presumably his theme song, announcing his arrival at every Flying J in the tri-state area.

[Hat tip to LongRoofian! Also, if you’re in law enforcement this is what you get to play with. Color me jealous.]