Lamest Classics: 1995 Ford Escort

So far in this series, I’ve mocked several cars that people have relied on and loved in their lives, so now it’s time I turn the snark upon myself. In this installment of Lamest Classics, I’ll be the first to say it: I love Ford Escorts.

Yeah, the European Escort was actually cool in all kinds of ways and had incredible race provenance. I dig those too. But I have a deep, personal connection to the stupid, smoothed-over-rectangle North American Ford Escort that is only related to anything with an actual sporting pedigree in the longest reach possible. (Via its platform-friend Mazda 323 GTX and GT-R, if you’re curious.)

My first car was a 1991 Escort Pony — their highfalutin’ name for the stripped-out model — had the optional rear defrost, but no power steering, no a/c, not even an AM/FM stereo. Of course, I installed a stereo and fitted the doors with Sony Xplod speakers because it was around the year 2000 and those were the coolest-looking speakers on the shelf at Circuit City.

All Ponys (Ponies? How do you treat the plural of a proper noun where the regular-noun version is an irregular plural? Does that qualify as an irregular plural? My college girlfriend was an English major, but I studied journalism, so formal grammar is not my forte.) were 2-door hatchbacks. Mine had the 5-speed manual transmission and the standard-on-every-Escort-except-the-GT 1.9-liter engine.

Considerable Vibration and Harshness

That SOHC motor made somewhere 88 horsepower, a far cry from the 127 horses you could get in the Mazda-sourced 1.8-liter in the GT. That’s practically a 40 horsepower difference, or a 44% improvement, from a smaller engine.

I loved to rev the piss out of that sad 1.9-liter, and it survived all my abuse. I also put 20w-50 Castrol Syntec oil in it, during an Illinois winter, because it was for race cars! And also because I was an idiot. By the time I sold that car for some 3-figure sum, it had fairly bad blow-by. But I realize now that it wasn’t exactly a smooth-running motor.

It had enough torque, but the power went flat shortly after 4,000 rpm. It was a slight update on Ford’s CVH engine that dated back to the early ‘80s and came in sizes ranging from 1.1 liters to the last-generation Escort’s 2.0 liters.

I’ve heard some enthusiasts say that CVH stands for “considerable vibration and harshness,” which is fair, but it’s actually a stupid abbreviation for Compound Valve angle Hemispherical combustion chamber. I don’t know why Ford chose to ignore all those other words. Maybe it would’ve cost too much in ink to print CVAHCC on their marketing materials.

Maybe they should’ve just come up with an actual name.

The Mazda Connection

Ford had about a 25 percent stake in Mazda from the early ‘70s, so it’s a little weird to me that they decided to make their own car when creating the North American front-wheel-drive Escort rather than borrowing the good-little-car GLC from its Japanese partner. The first-generation Escort was a bestselling piece of all-American garbage.

The second-generation Escort, introduced in 1991, was in its last year in 1995. It was built on Mazda’s BG platform, shared with the 323 and Protege — a descendant of the GLC.

Even by 1995, Mazda had moved its Protege to a newer variation of the platform, dubbed BH, but Ford kept the Escort chugging along on the same old BG until they dropped the name in 2003.

Still, this meant it had independent suspension all around, with better geometry than the older Escorts. In fact, all the good stuff in the Escort was Mazda’s. The bad stuff — the engine, and the stupid self-retracting seat belts — was Ford’s.

Those annoying seat belts counted as a “passive restraint,” which allowed manufacturers to skip the airbag mandate, but 1995 was a fun year where the exemption ended but it would’ve cost too much for Ford to redo the seat belts. So you get the benefit of air bags and the annoyance/novelty of motorized passive belts at the same time.

What luxury.

Ford Escort on race track

Underappreciated Lemons

After owning a handful, it was a natural choice for me when building my first Lemons race car. These cars handle remarkably well and have phenomenal brakes. If you use either the Mazda engine or the later Zetec from the Escort ZX2, they can do pretty well.

But we’re not here to talk good (I told you: not an English major.), we’re here to talk lame. This means my official recommendation is to get yourself a CVH-equipped Escort but find a manual transmission.

Nobody will be interested in that ’90s econobox with 14-inch alloy wheels, regardless if you slap those classic-car plates on a 2- or 4-door hatchback, sedan, or station wagon. They’ll care even less if you get its Mercury Tracer sibling that I always forget about.

Shit. I should’ve written this whole damn thing about the Tracer.

The Escort gets a 3 on the Lamestain Index.

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29 responses to “Lamest Classics: 1995 Ford Escort”

  1. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    I love these Escorts as well. I had a ’93 sedan (auto, sadly), bought it for $100, and it taught me how small cars could be fun. Absolutely slow, but it could snap the tail out if you were stupid with the throttle, and I once managed to take an on-ramp hard enough to stall it (tank was nearly empty anyhow). For a lame classic, I’d hold out for a GT or LX-E (the sedan with the 1.8), but I’m still fond of them.

    1. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      I got caught out in mine at under 80km/h, but it was knackered, and I was a ham-fisted idiot. Didn’t spin, luckily, but learned that FWD cars do that too.

  2. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    I love these Escorts as well. I had a ’93 sedan (auto, sadly), bought it for $100, and it taught me how small cars could be fun. Absolutely slow, but it could snap the tail out if you were stupid with the throttle, and I once managed to take an on-ramp hard enough to stall it (tank was nearly empty anyhow). For a lame classic, I’d hold out for a GT or LX-E (the sedan with the 1.8), but I’m still fond of them.

  3. SlowJoeCrow Avatar
    SlowJoeCrow

    The green 4 door hatchback with grey interior is almost an exact match for the 95 we had from 1997 to 2012. NVH was bad and it was a bit slow but we got a lot of service out of it. Ours had a Thule roof rack with bicycle mounts and we got some amazed looks when pulled up next to a minivan and started unloading 3 bicycles a Burley trailer, two kids and a picnic. The seats are comfortable the handling was OK and we took it on a lot of 3 hour trips including crossing the Santiam pass in a snowstorm and then driving to Mt. Bachelor in the snow all on cheap 4 season tires.

    From experience with a Mazda Protege the high performance models with the Mazda twin cam and sports suspension are pretty good for the time.

  4. Scoutdude Avatar
    Scoutdude

    All Escorts sold in the US had 4 wheel independent suspension.

  5. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    I thought Lamest Classics was about what new models became available in ’95? This was the year the Escort / Topaz (not the Tracer, that was a 1999 model went away in 1999) went bye-bye and the Ford Contour / Mercury Mystique stunned the market with their overbearing Fordliness. (I made that word up; not an English major either.)

    Just look at those majestic 7-spoke rims. Genius.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c67a52399907c80b5f08126b97a34d15d2376f6d257d5565630ae5edecc4e970.jpg

    1. Alan Cesar Avatar
      Alan Cesar

      When I was contemplating the series, doing only newly introduced cars was too short a list. So I made it any new car you could buy in ’95.

      But fear not, the Contour/Mystique is on the list. We’ve got most of a year still to go.

    2. Alan Cesar Avatar
      Alan Cesar

      When I was contemplating the series, doing only newly introduced cars was too short a list. So I made it any new car you could buy in ’95.

      But fear not, the Contour/Mystique is on the list. We’ve got most of a year still to go.

    3. outback_ute Avatar
      outback_ute

      Those wheels aren’t so bad, 3-spoke wheels were a trend…

      1. Alan Cesar Avatar
        Alan Cesar

        Super on-topic here: A friend of mine had a Mystique with those 3-spoke wheels. It looked awful even then.

    4. Zentropy Avatar
      Zentropy

      Hey now… I had a ’99 Contour SVT, which wasn’t a bad affordable sport sedan for the time. I will admit it suffered from considerable “Fordliness” inside, but it was quick (if not fast), handled well, and revved nicely through the gears. The engine itself was an absolute sweetheart. The biggest annoyances from my perspective were the understeer in corners, the torque-steer at launch, and the stupid dealer-added rear wing. Had the car been RWD, I would probably still own it.

      Mine looked pretty much identical to this one from BaT a few month’s ago:
      https://cdn.bringatrailer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/2000_ford_contour_157117912166e7dff9f98764da2000_ford_contour_1571179119d208495d5ead0543-6664-460d-a6fa-3c8a7988d189-x3CmRw.jpg

  6. PotbellyJoe★★★★★ Avatar
    PotbellyJoe★★★★★

    I had a 1998 Escort ZX2 (“Hot” – sunroof, manual, etc.) It was a fun enough little car. The 2.0L and manual combo was the key, though.

    There were a few escorts owned by extended family members throughout the years. My Grandpa has a fleet car from his job with the railroad a baby-blue diesel wagon. My grandma has an 89 GT in red. My uncle had first and second generation EXPs before getting a Turbo Probe. My other uncle had an Escort Wagon that he later traded in on a Thunderbird and bought his daughter a ZX2.

    When you’re A-Plan, the Escorts were so cheap it made them very, very disposable.

  7. salguod Avatar

    I bought a nearly no option 1993 Escort LX 5 door in 1995 with 22K miles and drove it to 185K miles in 2006. It had 13″ steel wheels, crank windows and a 5 speed. The only options were AC, a cassette deck and some lighting package. It had reading lights, a glove box light, a trunk light and an underhood light that never worked.

    Shortly after purchase, someone spun in front of my wife and she wasn’t able to stop. When the body shop fixed it they accidentally installed the GT front bumper cover, which was kind of neat.

    It was very reliable but boring. My positive experience made me search out an Escort for my oldest’s first car, a 1998 LX 5 speed sedan. Both of them benefitted from their Mazda heritage in terms of handling but paid for it in rust.

    I’ve also owned 3 2002 and 2003 Proteges and still have 2 of them. I’m a fan of this platform.

    1. Zentropy Avatar
      Zentropy

      I’m not a fan of FWD in general, but a friend had a ’99 Protege ES that he absolutely loved. While I wasn’t hugely impressed with the power (I was accustomed to V8s), it was definitely fun to drive. Very tossable chassis, and a rewarding shifter. I liked that it felt sporty but had smart, understated looks.

  8. Rover 1 Avatar
    Rover 1

    They had already replaced the Escort name in the Pacific area of the world when they retired the last Mk2 RWD original Escorts. Ford dealers in Japan, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the Middle East and South America (outside Brazil ), and much of South East Asia had marked the change to FWD with the switch to ‘Laser’ badging. We got this car as the 3rd gen Laser with all Mazda running gear in four door sedan and five and three door hatchbacks,(topline 3 doors available as TX3 AWD Turbo 1800), and no wagon variant. Oddly. to meet the demand for wagons, the previous model 2nd gen version was kept on with a new grille. The 3rd gen wagon was North America only. We then lost the Laser nameplate back at the end of local assembly in NZ and Australia after the 4th gen Lasers were replaced by the Focus in ’02/’03.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/1994_Ford_Laser_%28KH%29_GL_Horizon_5-door_hatchback_%282015-05-29%29.jpg/1920px-1994_Ford_Laser_%28KH%29_GL_Horizon_5-door_hatchback_%282015-05-29%29.jpg

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/40/1990-1991_Ford_Laser_%28KF%29_TX3_Turbo_3-door_hatchback_%2814292571369%29.jpg/1920px-1990-1991_Ford_Laser_%28KF%29_TX3_Turbo_3-door_hatchback_%2814292571369%29.jpg

    1. salguod Avatar

      That rear wiper would have been a nice addition to the US model. I like the smaller bumpers and the center trim between the tail lights too.

      Our 3rd generation Escort was built on a revised 2nd generation platform. The 3rd generation wagon was just a second generation wagon with a rounder nose and new door skins. I think the roof, tailgate, and all the glass was the same.

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d1/3rd_Ford_Escort_Sedan.jpg/800px-3rd_Ford_Escort_Sedan.jpg

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/1997-99_Ford_Escort_wagon.jpg

      1. Rover 1 Avatar
        Rover 1

        When Ford styling involved ‘The Blob’

    2. Tomsk Avatar
      Tomsk

      The Laser TX3 AWD, had Ford bothered to bring it here (as the Escort RS? Escort SVT? Something else?), would have changed the ’90s North American performance car game.

      Of course, it also would have been priced like 50% higher than the GT and they would have sold about 15 of them as a result but, still…

  9. Fuhrman16 Avatar
    Fuhrman16

    I owned a ’95 Escort wagon, with the 1.9L and five speed, for several months back in ’12/13. I picked it up for $300 to use as a backup car for the days my ’79 Volvo was feeling under the weather. It was a wonderful little car. It got great fuel mileage, was super reliable (it had over 200k on it when I got it), was fun to hoon around in, and was super useful for hauling stuff.
    I wound up hitting a deer with it and sold it to a friend for a dollar who banged it back into shape (it was a glancing strike that dented the passenger fender and front door), changed the oil, and fixed the non working dash lights and proceeded to use it as a daily driver for a couple of years until a brake line rusted through. Every time I see him he talks about how great of a little car that thing was.

  10. Fuhrman16 Avatar
    Fuhrman16

    I owned a ’95 Escort wagon, with the 1.9L and five speed, for several
    months back in ’12/13. I picked it up for $300 to use as a backup car
    for the days my ’79 Volvo was feeling under the weather. It was a
    wonderful little car. It got great fuel mileage, was super reliable (it
    had over 200k on it when I got it), was fun to hoon around in, and was
    super useful for hauling stuff.
    I wound up hitting a deer with it and
    sold it to a friend for a dollar who banged it back into shape (it was a
    glancing strike that dented the passenger fender and front door),
    changed the oil, and fixed the non working dash lights and proceeded to
    use it as a daily driver for a couple of years until a brake line rusted
    through. Every time I see him he talks about how great of a little car
    that thing was.
    You can see it in the background of this pic.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d8a7e68e84b0dad62e84ea979c7861f7ed4a8c1a0c2f3d143bfdc25a746922a.jpg

    1. Zentropy Avatar
      Zentropy

      Love the 242! Hope you still own that.

      1. Fuhrman16 Avatar
        Fuhrman16

        Unfortunately, no. I sold it shortly after that picture was taken. Trying to use it as a daily driver in a small, rural town was basically a no go, and I had to many other cars at the time it realistically keep it. It was a brilliant looking machine though, just not fast (110 hp and an automatic are not good bed felows), reliable, or economical.

  11. ptschett Avatar
    ptschett

    One of my college friends had an Escort of this series for awhile at the beginning of the Noughts. The main thing I remember about the car was that his radio head unit & CDs got stolen out of it at least once.

    1. Alan Cesar Avatar
      Alan Cesar

      Was I that college friend?

  12. crank_case Avatar
    crank_case

    You weren’t missing much vs. the European Escorts at the time, which managed to be even more mediocre.

    1. Alan Cesar Avatar
      Alan Cesar

      But at least they had pedigree?

      1. crank_case Avatar
        crank_case

        Nah, maybe it seems that way now looking in from the US. Apart from the usual devotees for life of the Blue Oval you get anywhere – It was seen as just another blue collar Dagenham product. Hell, even I remember a time when RWD mk2 Escorts were just seen as cheap and disposable cars that were good for rallying, and grass track racing by grassroots clubman leveI competitors or even just bought by rural kids to hoon round farm fields til they broke.The sophisticated afficianados would have been dismissing such cars as crude and old hat vs, modern FWD compact cars (in some respects, they weren’t wrong). I think it was only in the late 90s that RWD escorts really started to be valued and prices started going nuts.

        I defintely don’t think that was ever a moment they were seen has having “pedigree” in the FWD years, even the “hot” versions like the XR3i would have been perhaps unfairly derided as “Essex Chariots” – (I guess Essex could be described as to London as New Jersey is to New York, to give you some sort of frame of reference), with nowhere near the same respectability of a Golf GTi, even though the two cars are arguably, not that different or demonstably better than the other (that falls to the Peugeot 205 GTi, but don’t say that too loudly around VW fanboys).

        The RS Turbo (not the later Cosworth) was too flawed and compromised to have any real impact, the RWD RS1700 wasn’t really a road car, just another Group B car that had nothing in common with the cooking models.

        While we’re out here killing sacred cows, even the holy grail of he post RWD/pre Focus era – The Escort Cosworth is probably one of the most over rated modern classics (not bad, just not up to the pedestal its put on). Yeah, it seemed the business at the time, but it was in reality a shortened Sierra Sapphire Cosworth 4×4 (the unglamorous late model four door saloon, rather than the bewinged three door RS500) and some reckoned it had lost a lot of that cars sweetness with the loss of wheelbase inches. It’s a sort of weird no mans land of the 90s for me – not quite as magical as a Delta Integrale, while already seeming a little agricultural compared to an Subaru Impreza Turbo 2000 (what you’d later refer to as a WRX) or even an early EVO, yet despite growing values of these, neither (at least this side of the Atlantic) fetch anywhere near the utterly mental money the Escort does. Blue Oval scene tax and the influence of the nearby UK market I guess, even in a country (Ireland) that adores its JDM more than anywhere outside Japan (perhaps tieing with New Zealand).

        Of course having typed all that, I could have summed it up quicket than by pointing out that nothing demonstrates how little “pedigree” was left in the Escort name when Ford unceremoniously dumped the badge for the Focus instead. It had stood for being a phoned in also ran in a market with so many other options that did at least one or more things so much better (Golf MK3/4 for perceived quality, Corolla for indestructability, Peugeot 306/Alfa 145/146 for sheer entertainment, Honda Civic for well, Hondaness) ..for so long, that no car with an Escort badge would ever be taken seriously, even if it was a good as a MK1 Focus.

  13. StPetePaul Avatar
    StPetePaul

    I owned a 1996 Ford LX hatchback. It was a fine car with its five-speed manual transmission and 1.9 l engine. I ran that car at 110 miles an hour across the Howard Franklin bridge in St Petersburg Florida more than once getting back and forth to work. At the time I sold it the car still looked and ran well even though one of the lifters had a chunk out of the inside of the block. If I could find another one of those cars today I would pay Fair money for it fix it up and enjoy it as much as that one that I owned in 2010. I affectionately called it my little red rocket.

  14. ThatRVdudePNW Avatar
    ThatRVdudePNW

    I currently own a ’94 LX wagon, 1.9L 5-speed. It’s easily one of the most fun cars I’ve ever owned.
    I’m an Automotive Mechanic, or was until I screwed up my spine, now I’m a stay-at-home dad with really expensive hobbies. When I was working, I was diagnosing and making new all of the auction cars a dealership bought. Mostly high end stuff, couple Masterati’s, bunch of Audi’s, a few RS3 Dynamic editions that are absolutely STUPID fast. (We were “required” to test the shit out of these cars. It wasn’t your standard used car operation, they were selling these for new retail with warranty’s. If someone used that warranty, we lost money.)
    So hopefully when I say this Escort is much faster than it should be, you’ll understand what I mean. It’s not fast by today’s standard but it’s not 88HP slow, either.
    I bought it from the original owner, who stopped driving it in 2011 and put it in his barn. Up until then he had kept every single service record or receipt for the car. I can tell you the exact date the clutch was last replaced. I can also tell you the head has been decked .060″ if not more since it’s had 3 timing belts and 2 of them it overheated. The CR is much closer to 10.0:1 now. (Stock is a dead-on 9.0:1)
    Full exhaust, no cat, EGR is blocked off.
    It’s an absolutely wonderful car in it’s current state. I’m currently swapping my first gen Kia Sportage 4×4 with a Chevy L31 (350 Vortec) on a TH200, keeping the stock 4.78:1 axle ratio’s. Once that’s done I may give the 1.9L some well deserved love in the form of custom rods and pistons, full head re-work, and custom camshaft courtesy of Delta Camshaft in Tacoma, Washington. (Check him out for your own projects if you’re in the area, he’s a literal wizard.)