Words, there really are none…

At first glance you would think you were dealing with one of those Exalibur things popular among the rich and tasteless back in the 80’s and 90’s.  Proof that money and style don’t always go hand-in-hand.
Upon closer inspection, you realise that this is NOT, infact an Exalibur (or is it?) but a severely mistreated Cadillac XLR.  I guess some things never change.  Thanks once again to Johnny from Key West  for risking life and limb to chase this beastie down on his scooter. 

I think Marlon Brando just rolled over in his grave.

Seriously? WTF man?

I uh… I got nothin

This is the kinda thing that gets Florida its very own tag on Fark.  Man, I gotta visit there someday.

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    1. Ambersand Avatar

      I haz a bit of vomit in my mouth.

          1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

            <img src=http://winedivergirl.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/funny-picture-cat-fail.jpg?w=258&h=300>
            Wait what just happened?

  1. dwegmull Avatar

    Brando? I think the Pontiac Astek just rolled in its rusty grave…

    1. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar

      Suddenly the Aztec seems a beautyfull car.

  2. BrianTheHoon Avatar

    Sweet Jeebus! I'd say, "Kill it with fire!" but I'm not sure that alone would do it.
    Dammit Joe, there's no way I can unsee this abomination. This is Hooniverse … if I wanted to kill my soul a little bit today I could have gone to 4chan.

    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      Nuke it from orbit

      1. BrianTheHoon Avatar

        Ok. That might do it. I'd still have to live with the mental scar but at least I'd know the children were safe.

      2. Han_Solex Avatar

        It's the only way to be sure …

  3. Ambersand Avatar

    It never, EVER coulda been a contendah.

  4. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Wait…two flex pipes per side? TWO?
    You really don't know how to do this, do you?

    1. CptSevere Avatar

      How about the phony sidemounts? Isn't that a nice touch?

    1. BGW Avatar

      That abomination must be the Moe Greene Special, then.

    2. engineerd Avatar

      Proving once again that when in doubt, blame Canada.

    3. P161911 Avatar

      Seems they switched to XLRs after the T-Bird died and haven't bothered to update the website.

    4. Feds_II Avatar

      Appropriately Named Canadian Company, seeing as hows I nearly Palazzi'd in my pants when I saw that thing!

    5. Deartháir Avatar

      On behalf of my nation, I apologize; we don't have nukes (unless there are leftovers in the Diefenbunker), but this is as good an argument as any to go get some. We do, however, have a metric fuckload of fertilizer and diesel fuel, and if there was ever a good case for using a significant portion of it for alternative means, this is it.

      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

        Agriculture Canada is definitely gonna be looking for us.

  5. M44Power Avatar

    Anyone have some glue to huff? Blinking repeatedly and eye washes haven't done the trick.

  6. Alff Avatar

    It's just dying for the vanity plate "XLR8R"

  7. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    <img src=http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/25SOiHpZlovzukdsS09aqpCho1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1268256038&Signature=Vw%2BiE5/tFoHBtsievCx344gjGg4%3D" width=400>
    Sorry, on a bit of a bayoux kick today. Discovered this:
    ” target=”_blank”>http://fuckyeahbayeuxtapestry.tumblr.com

  8. Jo_Schmo Avatar

    If we hurry we just might be able to get it to the Center for Abused, Mistreated, and Neglected Cadillacs. We may still be able to save this one yet.

    1. blueplate Avatar

      Too far gone. Don't hold your breath for the fixing.

    2. Feds_II Avatar

      Ahh, CAM-NeC, one of my favourite charities.

    1. Jo_Schmo Avatar


    2. dmilligan Avatar

      That's great, I love it. That butchered Caddy, not so much.

  9. Seth L Avatar
    Seth L

    Are we sure that's not a Zimmer production?

    1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      My first reaction was 'oh, Zimmer Cougar-thing".

  10. P161911 Avatar

    I'm reminded of this chart for Sci-Fi stuff. <img src="http://www.brunching.com/images/geekchartbig.gif"&gt; http://www.brunching.com/images/geekchartbig.gif
    I would see kit cars (except for Se7ens, Better Cobras, Beck Spyders, and the like) at the level of Furries. Homemade Fiero-based Lambo replicas at the level of Erotic Furries and "Neoclassics" would be somewhere below the bottom of the page.

  11. engineerd Avatar

    I'm coming down with a cold, or SARS, and this didn't help. Now I think I just need to go take a nap, but I'm afraid that when I close my eyes I'll just see this. Thanks, Hooniverse. You're swell.

  12. 900pilot Avatar

    I honestly jumped out of my seat. I was actually expecting a C4, but wow. Just wow.

    1. Ambersand Avatar

      I'm expecting you to USE some C4 and fix this.

  13. tiberiuswise Avatar

    Are those genuine Ford Model A bumpers?

    1. Impalamino Avatar

      <table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_d6QGftVZEv8/S5cgT-foklI/AAAAAAAAAJk/E27bV3EXlag/s144/674152.jpg&quot; /></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From Drop Box</td></tr></table>

      1. Impalamino Avatar

        Embed (partial) FAIL

      2. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

        I'm not sure whether that's better than my Facebook status as of a few weeks ago: "Detractors, do not attempt to impede my forward progress! I am aware of your animosity toward my superb Lansing-built brougham."
        Nah, I kinda honestly prefer my version. Glad someone else thought of it too, though.

  14. Tomsk Avatar

    <img src="http://i3.tinypic.com/82t4hnt.jpg&quot; width="750" height="600" />

  15. Mike_the_Dog Avatar

    If you need something to park next to your Corvorado (to make it look a bit less pimpish) this is your car.

  16. soo΄pәr-bādd75 Avatar

    Earlier I cruised right by this post, thinking it was (as mentioned in the post) indeed just one of the goofy Excaliber kits or something. Now that I have seen this, I hate myself for finally dropping in to look more closely. I just can't imagine what went through the owner's mind when he decided that this was the perfect use for an XLR, and what kind of body shop/custom auto establishment would allow this to happen. GM should sue this guy for using their car as a template for what has got to be the biggest bastardization of any car in the history of ever, and the next person that sees this car should pull it over, yank the guy (gal, whatever) out of it, pour 5 gallons of Texaco's finest over it, and light it up. That's the most awful thing I've ever seen done to a Cadillac, and I've seen some pretty horrible things, having been with Cadillac since 2002.

    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      Hopefully it turns out to be a Caddy that Zigs (into a furnace)

  17. Feds_II Avatar

    The Palazzi Motorcars website brings up an interesting question:
    Obviously the XLR version is bad, but is the panther-platformed version good?

    1. Manic_King Avatar

      None of this faux oldie crap can be any good IMHO, it's just really tasteless junk, no matter how hard they try.
      Re-manufacturing older cars by adding new (hidden) systems like modern brakes, A/C etc. is something I can agree with.
      Like that: http://www.kwecars.com/jaguar/process/index.php

  18. rocketrodeo Avatar

    You have to hope that the xlr was already totalled. That's what I'm telling myself.

  19. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    I really hope someone shows this to Bob Lutz. I want to see news footage of the old man punching the owner in the face.

  20. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    I'm hoping it stands for "Vehicles I Shot In Traffic".

  21. Fuuny Cats Avatar

    Nice one =)) =^_^=

  22. Fuuny Cats Avatar

    this was sweet

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