Continuing on with the Sunday Edition of the Hooniverse Weekend and let me introduce you to what is probably the slowest car General Motors has produced since the ill fated Oldsmobile Diesel found under the hood of a 1979 Cutlass Supreme. Why do I know this? Because I have experienced a Cutlass Ciera with the 2.5: Tech 4 equipped with an Automatic and Air Conditioning… Talk about sloooooooooooowww… One thing this car has in its favor… It is a Sedan. The Cutlass I drove was a 3-seat Cutlass Cruiser Wagon… One of the most ill advised engine parings ever. Imagine a 95HP engine, struggling with a full compliment of passengers, with the A/C on, trying to maintain momentum while going up a 3% incline… Let me tell you, it struggles… Anyway, here is the entire Craigslist Listing for your reading enjoyment:

This car used to belong to my wife’s grandfather. He was the second owner, and has had it for over 17 years. When he purchased it there was only 44000 miles on it. He put another 44000 miles on it before getting a new car. When he gave it to my daughter for Christmas it had 88000 miles. Today there are 90377 miles. It is a 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera LS Brougham 4 Door Sedan with 2.5L 4-cylinder engine with the automatic transmission. It has always been garage kept. It has A/C, power locks, original interior and paint, and tinted windows. It has a new fuel filter, a new air filter, new double-tip spark plugs, a new battery, and fairly new tires. It gets good miles per gallons. It runs good but might need few things replaced /updated due to the age. There is a slight oil leak dripping a small drop a week on the cardboard. It has a salvage title because when Grandpa purchased it in 1997 from the first owner, an elderly woman, he could not find the odometer statement. In November he slid the car into the garage causing damage to the grill and headlights which I have replaced.

Asking Price (Now Reduced!) is $2,000. I would love to tell you that this is the perfect car to turn into a 24-Hours-of-LeMons Racecar, but I would be lying. You would have a car that is eternally lapped, without the odd factor of being rear-engined (Like Mine), or having a Flat Head Six (like a recent Dodge Truck). This car isn’t a good candidate for an engine swap either as suitable power plants are either already trashed, or about to become trash. I really am serious about this… My advise? Avoid it, but if you’re curious, see the listing here.