The Most Expensive Water in the World

How shall we make the best of this situation?
How shall we make the best of this situation?

Say what you want about the price of gasoline; controversy aside, it’s the price of water that gets silly-absurd. When potable drinking water is virtually free from taps installed just about everywhere, the value equation isn’t worth debating. That $1.25, 20 oz. bottle of marketing water is where the local filling station really makes its profit; compared to that, three or four dollars for a gallon of refined petroleum is a bargain.
Of course, there’s the argument that some kinds of bottled water might really be better than the dirty copper-stainless tap variety. Some spring water contains beneficial trace minerals. Some water may be distilled or deionized. Some municipalities just can’t be trusted to keep the water parapin fluoride and pestilence-free. And sometimes those bottles are just so gosh-darn convenient. Whatever the truth may be, the marketing involved makes a compelling case that repackaged water is worth a premium price, and capitalism allows companies to charge what the market will bear.
With that in mind, it seems Bugatti is considering entering the market for premium-label processed water. The Bugatti Personal Distillery Dasani Edition, seen here at a factory-authorized demonstration, is a mere $1.6 Million USD. That relative pittance affords the discriminating imbiber the opportunity to create his own personally unique distilled water, commensurate with operating environment, localized weather and sunlight patterns, and garaging preferences. I didn’t get a chance to sample the pure, legend-infused umami of the final product, but look at it glistening there: indelibly worth every last electronic Swiss Benjamin stack. Especially when preserved in vessels so stunningly reminiscent of a Veyron’s taillights.
Aren’t you downright parched for the privilege? Why settle for the merely common ineptitude sauce sloshing around in the taillights on your buddy’s old beater Chevette? This blinker fluid may be pricey, but it’s just the kind of rarified refreshment that every Veyron owner distinguished tongue demands.  If you yearn for the most exclusive, high-performance, track-tested and sheik-approved water on the market, seek no further. We merely ask that you please pay no attention to rumors of more plebeian, VW-like build quality taste.  The word is taste.

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  1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    Sure hope that's covered by the warranty…

  2. Ash78 Avatar

    (looking into toilet)
    Is it a Veyron?
    /nod to the old days of “name that car” on Jalopnik

  3. engineerd Avatar

    Nice catch, circlez!
    As far as the whole social commentary on drinking water, my wife loves Dasani. Just Dasani. She will accept one or two other brands, but Dasani is her preferred bottled water of choice. She won't drink out of the tap, even though, surprisingly, Detroit has some of the best drinking water in the nation. Yes, she's a water snob. So, after buying cases of Dasani when it went on sale at Target, we finally used our tax refund last year to pay for new appliances. Including a refrigerator with a water filtration system and convenient door-front dispensing. She likes that water, and her Dasani budget has been shifted to something else. Probably clothes.
    While I think it is funny that we pay $1.25 for a 20 oz. bottle of water (or $8 a gallon at that rate), there are times where even I will buy a bottle of water. I have been trying to get bottled water with my fast food, rather than pop. I have been taking an ASL class on Tuesdays and find a bottle of water is much more convenient than running out to the drinking fountain every few minutes, and healthier than drinking pop. Also, the biggest benefit of bottled water is in remote villages and emergency situations. There are groups that fly in bottled water to remote villages to give the locals an alternative source of water other than their polluted streams and wells. Also, after tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes, etc. the local drinking water supply can be contaminated in which case bottled water is distributed.
    Yes, it's silly on the face of it (Evian backwards is Naive), but it does serve a purpose. And, if people are willing to pay $8 a gallon for water while complaining about $3/gallon gas, more power to the water people!

    1. discontinuuity Avatar

      I just got a stainless steel bottle and re-fill it. No petroleum chemicals leeching into your water, just good ol' iron and nickel.

      1. blueplate Avatar

        Er, it depends, where was the "stainless steel" bottle made? Have you had it run through a mass spectrometer?
        Was disappointed recently to learn that SIGG water bottles (the ubiquitous Swiss brand) admitted recently that some of their "metal" bottles leach BPA: yikes. (2 and target=”_blank”> 3, since I hate unsourced rumor and innuendo

        1. discontinuuity Avatar

          Those Sigg bottles are aluminum coated with plastic on the inside, much like a beer can. Mine is made by Kleen Kanteen, and is 100% stainless steel.

    2. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      Do not hop on pop.

      1. engineerd Avatar

        I grew up in California and always called it Coke. I think I've been in Michigan too long.

        1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

          Coke is dark and cola-flavoured (Coke/Pepsi/Arsey, but not Dr. Pepper [sorry, TI25] or root beer). Pop is your old man. Soda is carbonated, sweetened, and any flavour. Tonic makes you look like a Masshole.

          1. Han_Solex Avatar

            I dunno why, but I refer to everything as "Royal Crown." I must be partly Canadian.

          2. ptschett Avatar

            …and now I'm wondering how a Royal Crown/Crown Royal mixed drink would taste.

          3. goingincirclez Avatar

            Royal Crown Royal Crown Royal…
            Holy crap, that's like the new Official Beverage of My Username!

      2. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

        Pop, coke, soda… all the same to me

        1. superbadd75 Avatar

          Unless it's Mountain Dew. Then it should be referred to as Dew, or its proper name, "Nectar of the Gods".

          1. goingincirclez Avatar

            Mountain Dew pales compared to the concentrated crack nectar that is SKI. First, best thing I found when I came to Kentucky.

    3. bzr Avatar

      "Evian backwards is Naive"
      I've…actually never noticed or heard of that before. engineerd, you just blew my mind.

      1. _Tomsk_ Avatar


    4. Charles_Barrett Avatar

      I have no problem with drinking tap water, but due to promotional give-aways at the supermarket ("buy x amount of Pepsi, get a flat of Dasani water bottles for free"), we have it among our rotated stash of earthquake survival water. I find in this day and age, offering a guest or tradesman a bottled water for refreshment, if they decline a soda or beer, is infinitely more socially acceptable than drawing them a glass of water from the tap. It's like selling prunes individually wrapped in cellophane and calling it new and better than prunes in a box…

  4. SeanKHotay Avatar

    Some inside industry info:
    The steering wheel on the Veyron is, as you might expect, not made like your typical car steering wheel.
    – the armature/structure is milled out of a solid aluminum billet
    – the silvery, showy metal is thinly cast and anodized magnesium and zinc
    – the leather comes from some special cow farm (forgot where)
    – sale price from the vendor to VW, err, Bugatti starts at €1100-, about 10x that of a typical luxury steering wheel

  5. joshuman Avatar

    I sold the Volvo V70 after fixing a similar tail lamp vapor issue. At least I think I fixed it. Selling the car in dry July sure helped convince me.