V.I.S.I.T. Bad Stripe Fest, Day 2: In case you didn't know it's an Olds

In yesterday’s Wagon SS V.I.S.I.T. post, I mentioned my strong suspicion that an Olds I had photographed previously in the same parking lot was actually the “Wagon SS” owner’s previous daily driver. I also stated that it had an even uglier custom paint job. This claim caused JacobDFriedman to cast aspersions on my journalistic integrity and prompted clamoring thousands a couple of other guys to demand request idly wonder about the photos. So, against my better judgement (yesterday’s post made LTDScott throw up a little), here they are.

Not only does this mechanized afterbirth feature a maroon-on-dirty-white-two-tone paint job that clashes nicely with the golden tan, faux-woodgrain, fade-out side stripes (it actually hurts to describe it), but it ups the clutter factor with dual sport stripes down the hood and deck lid, plus a squiggly line through the side stripes (just in case they’re still too plain-looking). But wait — there’s more! There’s not one but two grossly oversized “rocket in a box” Oldsmobile logos per side!
And yet, with all that, it appears to be mechanically 100% stock, right down to the wheels — just like the Wagon SS.
I hope my lousy cell phone shots make evident the fairly convincing burled walnut effect on the side stripes, proving that obvious technical proficiency with an airbrush and good taste are not mutually inclusive.
In the first photos I took (the smaller, blurry ones to the right) there’s a little sticker in the back window that reads “My other ride is your girlfriend.” It had disappeared by the time I had the chance to revisit the car later and take the (slightly) clearer shots above. I guess the owner decided it was too crass for a car that otherwise suggested such obvious class and good taste.
But just for the record, the Wagon SS is most certainly NOT my girlfriend.

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26 responses to “V.I.S.I.T. Bad Stripe Fest, Day 2: In case you didn't know it's an Olds”

  1. SSurfer321 Avatar

    It's like a landau badge…on the door…but it's a stripe…in three stripes…of wood…painted wood…on a G-Body…not on Donks…[head asplode!]

  2. Deartháir Avatar

    Great. Now I need to scrub my brain clean with a brillo pad.

  3. citroen67 Avatar

    WHYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!? What did this perfectly beautiful example of Oldsmobile G-body goodness ever do to its owner to deserve a paint job like this? I think that the man who sprayed the paint on the car, upon finding out the owner's plan, should have grabbed a stick, and hit him…and then said "NO!"…

  4. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    That could be a nice ride with the paint fixed. Or removed. Or burned with napalm.

    1. facelvega Avatar

      or precisely replaced with real burled walnut

    2. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

  5. acarr260 Avatar

    I hope that puddle next to the car is from people peeing on it. That poor G-body…

  6. muthalovin Avatar

    I am all for people expressing their creativ….
    No. I am not. Stop doing this! Or, if you absolutely have to….
    NO! Just stop! STOP!

  7. sam Avatar

    The whole paint scheme is to draw your attention away from the tires.

    1. BotchedKarma Avatar

      You know what, it worked! I never even thought about the wheels till I read that!

    2. facelvega Avatar

      I actually like those wheels, though.

      1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

        Ever actually had them? The chrome parts around the spokes are little stainless stampings that snap over the holes. Over the years they loosen up and start to jingle like spurs on a cowboy. Really, really annoying.

  8. skitter Avatar

    Is this really worse than the last stick on wing you saw? I'm having trouble being anything more than indifferent to its strangeness, same as yesterday's W_a_g_on.

    1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      I agree, it's not bad, could be much much worse. This one could lose the big emblems, other than that, it's pretty great. I didn't think anything bad of the yesterday's wagon either. I would not be embarrassed driving either of these. I think I would really appreciate watching one of these doing a mini burnout even. Also they're better than if they had just been bland and white like they are now. You know the owner has got a sense of humor and some personality at least. Good for him or her!

  9. Black Steelies Avatar

    That sucks because it was so close to being tastefully done. You were allowed just 1 emblem per visible side, choice of woodgrain OR nifty vintage stripes, and if choosing said woodgrain, no meaningless bisecting swoops. Aw hell, you really messed up!

    1. facelvega Avatar

      Yeah, if only there wasn't that bisecting swoop it would have been a home run. Wait, what?

      1. Black Steelies Avatar

        Hell yeah! Ya know, if it was just a woodgrain paint job, no emblems or other stripes. I guess I'm a bigger proponent of woodgrain than most.

        1. facelvega Avatar

          well, fake woodgrain would be period-correct for sure.

  10. vwminispeedster Avatar

    I like it. Probably for two reasons: 1) I live in Oakland and am surrounded by Donks, Boxes and Bubbles when I cruise to the pick n pull and I enjoy their over the top paint jobs and wheels. They are like full size HOT WHEELS cars. 2) The person actually loves their car and is proud to rock that paint job. I would do the same if my PCH actually ran. (Damn unwired Intermeccanica Speedster with bitchin Mobil horse decals.) I forsee additional vinyl decals for my car once/if it ever runs again . I'm classy like that.

    1. Alff Avatar

      If you ever decide to give up on that Intermeccanica, the line forms behind me. I think they're bitchin'.

    2. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      I'm not saying that's right, but I respect your choice to rock it.

      1. vwminispeedster Avatar

        I'm just jealous he has a working car. The truth comes out.

  11. Alff Avatar

    If this is your father's Oldsmobile … I hope that you have sought the counsel of a mental health professional.

  12. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    I'm trying to wrap my head around any possible reason this would be a good idea…
    Eh, at least it isn't covered in Koolaid logos….

  13. ptschett Avatar

    About 20 years ago I built a Lego car which was white with a red hood and red trunklid, so I like that much of it. Cover up the door stripe and the door logo and most of the horror disappears.

  14. Buickboy92 Avatar

    Not the worst I've seen, in fact I kinda like it!