Perhaps due to the return of actual zombies in the recent The Walking Dead season finale, or 2012 jitters, it appears that some residents of Salt Lake City have taken the opportunity to outfit themselves with an appropriate escape vehicle. While on a jaunt through the Avenues neighborhood near downtown, I spotted a number of ex-military and current bad-ass vehicles parked on the street. Here are a few of the highlights, rendered in an abstract-zombie-comic style.
This military jeep was parked on the street, fully registered and ready for action. Home-built plywood doors will keep zombies at bay for at least a few minutes if you get into a hairy situation. This rig has the original all-stamped Utah license plates, so it is among the
walking driving dead itself – those plates haven’t been issued since 1982 – making them about as rare as hen’s teeth.
You’ll notice an antique military ambulance parked behind the jeep – I chose not to poke around too much – figuring taking pictures on public streets won’t get me in trouble. The patina’d olive drab on the jeep is nicely accentuated with stenciled serial numbers and authentic tire pressure requirements.
Moving up a block or so, I discovered this beauty. Not a military ride, but pretty intimidating nontheless. That grill has to be one of the most impressive found on a non-commercial vehicle.
I’m not entirely up on my Willys history, so I can’t pinpoint a model year within the 19-year run of the wagon. But I can say that it is a daily driver, like the jeep above, fully registered and ready to ride. Of course, if you’re off-roading on those big all-terrain tires in a desperate escape from the zombie hoards, who cares about emissions and safety?
Judging by the location of the Willys, I’m guessing the owner lives in the lovely historical home in the photo above. Given that, if the zombie invasion is sudden, it may not be a bad place to hunker down. Board up those first floor windows and hope you have enough firepower and provisions to ride out the first wave – then hit the road…
…and tell those brain-eating freaks to kiss your square backside.
Finally, if you have a large family (who are we joking, it’s Utah, right?) perhaps you’ll need to move you and yours quickly and efficiently. Fortunately, one Avenues family is covered.
Again, this sweet Pinzgauer is registered and ready to roll. I suppose the best thing about registration is the ability to park on the street instead of in the garage – saving room for ammo and food storage. A conscience – you’ll have to store elsewhere.
So, where do you keep your zombie escape vehicle? Personally, I park in the street, but after some consideration, it may be time to back the Rondo into the driveway and maintain a full tank of fuel. You never know…
Until then, click on any of the above photos for a larger version if you need a wallpaper for your soon-to-be-useless-in-the-zombie-world computer.
Ray Lindenburg is an Associate Editor with Hooniverse.com, but he also contributes to his own site Hatchtopia.com. Head over there for all things hatchback.