Truck Thursday: 1988 Mazda B2200 is terrific and troubling

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For some reason, I found myself reading the Best of Craigslist the other night. Some of them are funny, most are irreverent, and a few are just weird. This ad, though, stuck out to me. Is it the attempted humorous descriptions of its features? Is it the canary yellow paint and white fiberglass front bumper? Is it the soft dig at people who drive automatics? The answer, as always, lies somewhere in all three.

[Source: craigslist]

Take it all in, baby:

Dropped 88′ Mazda B2200, guaranteed to melt some faces.  In need of the prow to seduce the lady of your dreams?  Wanna stick it to the man from a few inches off the ground?  If the latter’s the case (and it most likely is) then this kickin’ chicken car is for you.  I bought this car in 2009 and immediately grew a mustache upon taking it for a spin.  This car WILL turn you into a man (or woman depending upon the buyer).  At the very least you’ll be transformed into something, maybe a bear (that’d be badass). 

Features: It might change you into a bear (anything’s possible, just saying).

It’s got gears and shit- Unlike the ‘lazy good-for-nothing’ car culture of today, people in 1988 used 3 pedals like red-blooded Americans.  Keep this simple equation in mind: 5 speed manual= not a communist. 

Sporty racing seats- Nothing says, “I feel like I’m going faster than I actually am” like some quality seats. 

Steering wheel- You’ll need this. 

Wheels- They’re necessary.

Four-cylinder engine- You probably won’t blow your neighbor’s Mustang out of the water, but you’ll have plenty of time to steal his wife while he’s busy filling his tank.  28mpg’s means plenty of time for cougar cruisin’. 

It purrs like a kitten, literally.  With 111,958 original miles this car still has plenty of head-turning left to do. 

Fabulous features not enough?  I’ll throw in my friendship to sweeten the deal.  You (the new owner of a fabulous yellow truck) will call me Nathaniel Dibbington.  I (Nathaniel Dibbington) will sit shotgun regaling you with tales of manly exploits as we sing songs, navigate the treacherous waters of the Tigris, and climb the stony Caucasus mountain pass.

If you’re interested, swing by and fall in love.  Also, the Mazda B2200 is technically a truck.  It has a bed and various truck-like components.

What we have here, then, is a decent B2200 pickup with fairly low miles and except for the ground effects, appears to be in reasonably good shape. Except for that paint.

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Is it safe to call Grant wheels cliché at this point? Surprisingly, the interior looks to be mostly intact. Somewhat reminiscent of the 86 626 we looked at last week. Not sure why these seats would be considered sporty in any sense of the word; they look stock to me.

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The best part of the ad, though? The price – it’s nowhere to be found. In all the attention-grabbing descriptions and cougar jokes, the seller just couldn’t find the space to squeeze in a price. So, what would you pay for it? $2500? $3100? $4000? Do I hear one dollar? Remember, just covering up that yellow is going to cost you a few hundred.

 

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14 responses to “Truck Thursday: 1988 Mazda B2200 is terrific and troubling”

  1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    I'd buy that for a dollar.
    Just the one, though.

  2. Batshitbox Avatar

    Grant Challenger steering wheel only cliché on late model. Okay for 1988 suburban teenage dream machine. Period correct.
    You are, of course, dissing the condition of the paint, and not the color. And I think under 'best of CL' they remove the price?
    Also, I was piloting a Mustang LX Convertible in about 1986 or so, and this quite possibly could blow its doors off.

  3. JayP2112 Avatar

    Why is the grille still chrome? I thought all the grilles from the '80s were painted body color by kids skipping school in 10th grade.

  4. lilpoindexter Avatar

    This truck makes me want to cut my hair in a fierce flat top mullett, grow a pencil thin child molester moustache, and wear a muscle tee.
    Ice Ice Baby.

  5. humblejanitor Avatar

    Crack pipe at any price.

  6. rustylink Avatar

    What's the deal with the paint gatoring paint on the hood "bulge"?

  7. Van_Sarockin Avatar

    Steering wheel and worn cocoa mats are enough to make me run from what was a very fine truck. We could do far worse, than for the world to be full of Mazda pickups.

  8. buzzboy7 Avatar

    Is it bad that I like it?

    1. RegalRegalia Avatar

      It fits the owners description and probably personality so well you have to like it a bit.

  9. dead_elvis Avatar

    I think the seats are a sporty upgrade from the sub-par bench seats these originally came with (still true by '88?); one of my HS buddies had a beater 82 that could have used 'em, desperately.

  10. GTXcellent Avatar

    Wow, does this bring back memories of high school daze and all the cool kids with their mini trucks cruising main street – he better have Kicker truck boxes behind those 'sporty' seats. Yep, the cool kids with their slammed S-10s and Suzuki Samurais (Samuraii?) and then me, not so cool with a hugger orange '70 Chev CST. I do miss that truck.

  11. mike Avatar

    Love it, love it, love it. Buy this thing for $1,800, then patch the bumper and give the thing fresh paint (I'm thinking something along these lines: http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3733/8835309203_220…. Put on some gold 14'' Knock-Off Reverse Radial Lace Dayton Wires with skinny tires, and you've got the perfect period-correct 1990s minitruck. If I had an open checkbook, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

    1. mike Avatar

      This link should function correctly: http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3733/8835309203_220

  12. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    Don't worry – it could be more ridiculous.
    (The SA thread is closed to the general public, but the operative Google keywords are 'Holdbrooks', 'pickup'/'truck', and/or 'bosozuku'.)

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