Thurston Howell Thursday: Jag Stretch Limo

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When a friend’s daughter recently got married, she and her new husband were whisked away from the church in this Jaguar stretch. I was simultaneously aghast and kinda jazzed at the uniqueness of it. From the general concept to the execution, such as the missing side molding on the added section between the doors, it seems to require a thoroughly misguided concept of what constitutes social status and prestige in order to enjoy. As such, it’s my second favorite ironically cool wedding limo EVAR.

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  1. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    Do you really believe that a nation that might elect Donald Trump to the White House cares about such nuances as side molding?

    1. Kyle Allen Avatar

      What does Trump have to do with this? Same argument can be said for that lying bitch Clinton supporters

      1. Tanshanomi Avatar

        I can guarantee you, Green Party supporters are 100% against this vehicle.

          1. Vairship Avatar
            Vairship

            Clearly the rocket motor on that Corvair has been aimed in the wrong direction!

        1. Sjalabais Avatar
          Sjalabais

          I’m under the impression that a significant share of them would be open for a UK conspiracy to take the colony back. Just immobilize America with bad cars first, or some such thing.

          1. Alff Avatar
            Alff

            If ever there was a nation whose capacity to produce bad cars exceeded our own, it’s the UK.

        1. Alff Avatar
          Alff

          I’d like to know how you found a photo of the reclusive leader of the Canadians for Trump movement.

        2. Kyle Allen Avatar

          Stupid comment in the first place

    2. desmo Avatar
      desmo

      Trump cares about side moldings !
      (google: “Trump Series Golden Edition Cadillac” )

      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        If such a car exists I have no doubt that it is a really great car, assembled really great … the best … car people.

  2. BigRedCaveTroll Avatar
    BigRedCaveTroll

    I’d like to know when and why limousines went from slightly stretched, more luxurious versions of already fancy cars to these stretched abominations now. Wouldn’t a chauffeured XJ8L be much more elegant and practical? With that said, there’s something intriguing about that Jag.

    1. 0A5599 Avatar
      0A5599

      Blame prom kids. They want to be able to split the rental fees between six couples, so the limo companies buy cars to accommodate. Operating costs are about the same as for a shorter limo, so if you only need to take your wife out for a night on the town, you still get seating for 12.
      Note also that half of the limos I see in 2016 are Hummers, even though that brand died in 2009. I rarely see stretch Town Car limos these days, despite the Panther remaining in production until 2011. Kids don’t get excited about old man cars.

      1. Tanshanomi Avatar

        I semi-seriously want a six-door funeral limo. It feels like a prom queen’s corpse.
        http://www.funeralcars.com/InvntryFS/CarL533/CarL533.html

        1. theskitter Avatar

          Hellooo Tow Rig!

        2. 0A5599 Avatar
          0A5599

          I’m not going to ask how you know what a prom queen’s corpse feels like.

          1. Tanshanomi Avatar

            perhaps “makes me think of” would have been better phraseology than “feels like.”

        3. Sjalabais Avatar
          Sjalabais

          Let me know if returning to the same answers gets boring, but if it wasn’t for my wife’s mindboggling rationality, I would have bought one of these three years ago:
          http://13252-presscdn-0-94.pagely.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/1977-Volvo-264-Stretch-Limousine-For-Sale.jpg
          The funny thing is, it would have been a tremendous investment. These have shot up in value, all of a sudden.

          1. Alff Avatar
            Alff

            I wouldn’t call a decision not to choose this for a growing family “rational”.

          2. Sjalabais Avatar
            Sjalabais

            I can stretch myself to accept that our steep driveway (up to 35 degrees, ridiculously), with its sudden top, might present unwarranted issues.
            http://www.echoparknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/limo_baxter.jpg

          3. Alff Avatar
            Alff

            If this is the only myth you tell yourself to preserve domestic tranquility, you’re well ahead. 5 mph faster and that would have cleared.

          4. Sjalabais Avatar
            Sjalabais

            Honestly, I love speeding down the driveway in reverse. I have made several guests scream with my signature “oh, the brakes”-joke.

          5. Rover 1 Avatar
            Rover 1

            Never call your wife’s rationality into question.
            She married you.

          6. nanoop Avatar
            nanoop

            Three criteria rendering this an unfit vehicle, according to local standards:
            – No trailer hitch
            – no roof rack
            – not a station wagon
            Ergo, not enough space.

          7. Sjalabais Avatar
            Sjalabais

            The funny thing is, I’m certain “it would rack”. The lack of AWD and a hybrid badge speaks against it, too.
            Seriously, we did agree on having a 30+ year old car as the main family vehicle would be hard with the house that needs constant fixing and the attention needed for the kids.

          8. Vairship Avatar
            Vairship

            On the other hand, 8 foot (2.4 meter) long planks might fit inside the vehicle, clearly helping with the house fixing!

        4. Krautwursten Avatar
          Krautwursten

          Funerals mentioned! I haven’t had the chance to try it yet (not lastly due to the lack of family), but I bet that one of these with the sedan rear bench retrofitted, bow and vinyl top removed and a less “loaded” paintjob would actually make a passable very large family wagon.

        5. Cool_Cadillac_Cat Avatar
          Cool_Cadillac_Cat

          Dude, I’ve actually shopped these, and measured my garage.
          1. It’ll fit.
          2. I can get one for $5K-$6K if I’m patient.
          Thing is, I DO NOT WANT a blue interior.
          DO. NOT.
          My ultimate goal is to keep the middle section, move the roof forward so it’s effectively a commercial chassis limo, then -amino the rest of it.
          Yes. A six-passenger Fleetwoodamino.

  3. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    Wow, that’s terrible.

    1. kogashiwa Avatar
      kogashiwa

      sacrebleu

      1. CraigSu Avatar
        CraigSu

        Sacre Blech!

    2. Tanshanomi Avatar

      It’s very exclusive. You can tell because it has “Exclusive Limo” embroidered into the upholstery. And besides, nothing says you’re a person of refined taste like a mirrored floor.

      1. BigRedCaveTroll Avatar
        BigRedCaveTroll

        Why would you want a mirrored…oh.

        1. Vairship Avatar
          Vairship

          To match the mirrors on the toes of your shoes, of course!

      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        I assumed those were wedding cars for a primarily Roma clientele.

  4. JayP Avatar
    JayP

    Those wheels make it look tacky.

    1. Rover 1 Avatar
      Rover 1

      Yeeeess…… It’s the wheels.

  5. wohho Avatar
    wohho

    Holy Moses. The X308 is remarkably flexible as it was delivered from the factory. I can’t even imagine how outrageous this thing is.

  6. CraigSu Avatar
    CraigSu

    Gives fresh meaning to the phrase “It’s a Jaaaaaaaag!” and “Vanden Plaaaaaaaaaas!”.

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