Pop quiz: If you had mountains upon mountains of f***-you money, what would you spend most of it on? Granted, if you say you’ll spend equal to or less than 50% of it on more typical items like booze, drugs, gambling and/or loose women or men, I won’t judge. However, if you don’t plan to spend at least half your fortune on automobiles, I’ll probably tell you to close your browser and slowly back away from the computer, as you clearly have no business being on the ‘Verse. What does all of this have to do with the apple of my gearhead eye? Glad you asked.

If you are to know only one fact about Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah Mu’izzaddin Waddaulah of Brunei, it’s that he’s one of us…only richer. How much richer? Well, for starters, rich enough to have an immense car collection. “Big whoop,” you say, “It can’t be much bigger than Leno’s.” Oh, but it is: Accounts vary, and there is some discrepancy regarding how many the Sultan himself owns versus how many his relatives and the state own, but the size of his fleet has been pegged at somewhere between three- and six-thousand vehicles. The Guinness Book of World Records folks counted 500 Rolls-Royces alone.
Now that you’ve come-to and picked yourself up off the floor, let’s continue. While His Highness has all the usual suspects like the Bugatti Veyron (both a regular and a Pur Sang Edition), McLaren F1 (five of ‘em), and Dauer 962 (six of ‘em!), his collection is perhaps better known for the ultra-rare custom commissions from the world’s most exclusive marques. Examples: Ferrari 456 roadsters, sedans and wagons(!), Range Rover-based Bentley SUVs called Dominator 4x4s, and an armada of one-off Aston Martins. But none of them quite perk up my ears and wag my tail like the blacked-out beastie seen here.
Yes, I’m well aware that Mercedes-Benz has never officially offered an S-Class wagon (though the company is now on it’s fifth generation of intermediate-size squareback), but that didn’t stop the Sultan from ordering 10 estates based on the W140 platform, the car that marked the end of Stuttgart’s long history of compulsive over-engineering and not adding up the receipts until they’ve built the last pre-production prototype. The Sultan had them fitted with roof rails and AMG Monoblock wheels painted to match the body of the car they’re installed on. The black one seen here has also had the hardtop coupe’s front sheetmetal installed in place of the more formal sedan schnoz. Oh, and they’re powered by naturally-aspirated 7.3L 48-valve AMG V12s with 565hp, the same specification as was eventually installed in a car some of you might have heard of: the Pagani Zonda C12S. Like I said, the dude’s one of us…

Would I change anything about these classy Kombis if I could? Well, left-hand-drive would be easier to live with here in the U.S. of A. (though it would actually be a benefit in 50% of the drive thru lanes at my local In-N-Out Burger), and I’d definitely like to have a disappearing, rear-facing third row bench similar to those found on E-Class wagons since the very beginning. Because I’d like my huge, stupefyingly rare, mid-single-digits-MPG wagon to be as practical as possible, you know?
In all seriousness, the S73 T AMG is worthy of dream car status because it is tangible proof that a) manufacturers will build you anything if you write enough goose eggs on the check, b) there was, in fact, a time when car company accountants were the car company engineers’ bitches rather than vice versa, c) not every member of the hyper-rich club has automotive tastes that act like an index finger down the throat of us proles, and d) special-order supercar-engined wagons generate their own black holes of awesome, from which no hoon’s affection can escape. Not that I’d ever want it to, mind you.
Sources: PaulTan.org, Jalopnik, BenzWorld.org.