The Hooniversal Opinion: 2016 North American International Auto Show (Detroit)

01-acura-precision-concept-detroit-1 There is no possible way that the Detroit show in 2016 can beat the Detroit show in 2015. Last year, we saw the unveiling of the GT350, the Raptor, and the Ford GT was a surprise that blew everyone away. Not to mention the Acura NSX, the Porsche Targa 4S, The Alfa 4C Spider, and a number of other great concepts and whatnot. Well, the level of surprise has at least been matched, as Buick rolled out a performance car concept that stunned the motoring world. Nobody saw that coming. This is a show that’s largely been dominated by a van, a Honda pickup truck, a couple of full-sized luxury sedans, and a sports car concept from an unlikely brand. Check out what’s new this year (with photos cribbed from our friends at AutoWeek and Autoblog), and the whole crew’s opinions about everything, after the jump.

Volvo S90

-1x-1 I loved it when it first broke cover and I love it even more after seeing the live photos. I think it looks stellar inside and out and should do wonders for Volvo’s brand perception. Suddenly there’s a really interesting choice of premium saloons now that goes way beyond your typical Cadillacs or Benzes and this Volvo might be the most interesting of them all. -Greg Kachadurian What a handsome sedan. If there is anything not to like, it’s the fact that it FWD-based, but most people will opt for AWD and more power anyway. The interior looks amazing, my lawd, those seats. -Kamil Kaluski So, will this be the basis for the 2019-2025 Ford Taurus and Explorer like the S80 before it? -Tim Odell Scandinavian God of Sex Sedan. When I’m older, I’ll want one. If they make a Polestar version, I’ll want one now. -Jeff Glucker

Nissan Titan Warrior Concept

nissantitanwarriorconcept-18 Fun game: How far into any story on the TITAN WARRIOR CONCEPT will the words “tough” and “bold” be used? Being a numbers guy, I’ll put the over/under at about 35 words. -Eric Rood Too bad it’s only a concept as the world clearly needs more Raptor-like trucks. Diesel FTMFW, obviously. -Kamil Kaluski Tough. Bold. ★★★★★. -Bradley Brownell Was Titan BRO D0Z3R CONCEPT taken? -Tim Odell I know they won’t build it because Nissan hates fun things that enthusiasts like, but that doesn’t make it any less cool. I would gladly dress myself in head to toe in Mossy Oak and strap a furry woodland creature to the roof for a chance to try this out. -Greg Kachadurian Hopefully they at least make some sort of NISMO PRO-4X version at least approaching this. Problem is, it will wind up costing $65,000. -Jeff Glucker

Mercedes Benz E-Class

Mercedes-Benz E-Klasse Limousine (W 213) 2016Mercedes-Benz E-Cl This is a mistake. I’m looking at the C-class. Can we get an E-class, please. -Kamil Kaluski Oh, that’s new? -Tim Odell Okay, so German car companies have always been accused of practicing the “same sausage, different length” philosophy with their cars. The current Mercedes-Benz lineup is probably the single biggest offender in history. This E-Class looks great like all the other Benzes do, but holy shit THEY KEEP MAKING THE EXACT SAME CAR. The current S-Class was the first volume car to wear their current design language and ever since it’s been the same car in a different length with a few subtle tweaks so upper management doesn’t notice. The only other thing that varies between each car is the price. Even BMW has substantial design variation between all their models and they build four-door versions of two-door versions of their four-doors and put 68 ///M badges on each for fuchs sake! -Greg Kachadurian Regardless of the fairly boring design, I’d still hand over all of my dollars to have an E63 Wagon version. -Jeff Glucker

Mercedes Benz SLC Roadster

23950684549_6e707d5e95_o I have always loved how small Mercedes sport roadsters look, and this one is no different. Chances are, I still won’t fit in this one either. -Bradley Brownell What a great little car to give your affluenza-suffering daughter for her sixteenth birthday. -Kamil Kaluski Do they even sell these to guys? -Tim Odell With the face lift and all the new features, Mercedes have went above and beyond to remind us that this car exists. I find it interesting though that they chose to give it a glass roof. If you wanted to see the sky while you drive, isn’t that why you’d buy a convertible in the first place? -Greg Kachadurian How the hell do you not fit in this Bradley? It’s built by Germans. Even their women are taller than you. -Jeff Glucker

Honda Ridgeline

honda-ridgeline-1 The biggest issue with the previous Ridgeline was marketing. Honda said it was a pickup truck and all the pickup truck buyers laughed. They should have said it’s an SUV with the utility of a small pickup truck, perfect for someone who’s got a house they like to tinker with, gardener types. -Kamil Kaluski Yeah, I agree with Kamil, because then it would have been a sales success like the Subaru Baja… -Bradley Brownell How does Bradley define success? By fitting into a Mercedes SLC? The annual sales figures for the Ridgeline were as high as 50,000. At its lowest year it outsold all of Jaguar. Clearly those complete idiots at Honda, unlike Bradley, see profit in it. -Kamil Kaluski Ever met someone who lives completely within their means, buying only what they really need? They pack their lunch every day, wear store-brand khakis and $25 shoes and never drink? The Ridgeline is like that: it’s exactly what 85% of the truck buying public needs: an AWD Honda Accord with a trunk you can fill with dirt. Alas, that’s not really why people buy trucks. -Tim Odell So not for me? Got it. -Jeff Glucker I live in Georgia which just might have the highest truck-to-high school graduate ratio in America. I never see a Honda Ridgeline. It’s unfortunate but I feel that no matter how good a new truck from Honda will be, the people buying Rams and Silverados will never jump ship. I’m not sure who they expect to buy this; maybe people that otherwise wouldn’t have bought a truck at all because of how big they’ve all gotten? It might say in the press release but I’m not worrying about reading it until it’s time to do The News 😛 -Greg Kachadurian

Audi A4

news-2017-audi-a4-12-lr https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagiarism#Self-plagiarism -Tim Odell I like the way most Audis look but I can’t help but think this new A4 already looks dated. The changes they made over the previous generation aren’t exactly groundbreaking… at all. It looks good but it’s as if the designers just went… “eh… here ya go”. It should still be a nice well-rounded car for daily duties and the updates they made beneath the skin are substantial enough for it to be called “all new for 2016”. -Greg Kachadurian Curious to see how it drives. I’m hoping it’s not lame. I’ll find out in a month or so. -Jeff Glucker

Audi A4 Allroad

sam-8402-1 See above. -Tim Odell Ooooh yes. Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Soft roaders are another thing I don’t see very often but there’s still something cool about them. A lifted A4 shouldn’t look as good as it does…. I wonder if anyone will buy it. -Greg Kachadurian JUST GIVE US THE DAMN A4 AVANT PLEASE. NOT THE MORE EXPENSIVE BUT ONLY MILDLY MORE USEFUL ALLROAD. The original Allroad worked because it was actually interesting, and did things the standard A6 wagon couldn’t. This A4 Allroad? It can occasionally get dirtier than the regular A4 Avant, but it never will. -Jeff Glucker

Audi h-Tron Hydrogen Concept

news-2016-h-tron-quattro-concept-1 “Hydrogen as a mass-market fuel is just a few years and engineering challenges away from viability” – Hydrogen folks, every year since like 2005. -Tim Odell It’s alleged 372-mile range and 4-minute refueling time are impressive. Its styling isn’t. -Greg Kachadurian No. Ve do not zink deezell is zee future. Vhy do you hask? -Jeff Glucker

Chevrolet Cruze Hatchback

cruzehatch1 This looks a lot better than the sedan. Still not enough for me to want to buy one, though. -Bradley Brownell Did GM hire a former Hyundai designer? -Kamil Kaluski “Let’s make a hatchback, but make both the hatch and back as small as possible” -Tim Odell I think it has some impressive hardware and tech backing up its great looks. That’s the first time I’ve ever said anything nice about a GM compact. Also, this is just asking to be the base for a Focus RS competitor. -Greg Kachadurian

VW Tiguan GTE Active Concept

db2015au01257 It’s active! Which is a new meaningless word for ‘dynamic’. BFG A/T’s automatically make every vehicle more rugged, so it’s brilliant that they use them here, but unlike Jeep and Toyota they won’t have the balls to fit them on a production vehicles. This is just another CUV. Yawn. -Kamil Kaluski “Grrrrrrrrrrr!!” – not the vehicle growling, just the howl of mud terrains (they’re mud terrains, Kamil) unnecessarily fitted to a crossover with no low-range. -Tim Odell They threw on all-terrain tires [Mud Terrain! -ed] and raised the ride height by 2 inches. “LOL I’m ready for the Rockies!” -Greg Kachadurian I think it at least looks pretty bad ass. No other crossovers can really say that. -Jeff Glucker

BMW M2

b-1_4 Audi struck gold again with the right-sized S3, effectively reviving the B5 S4. Lets hope BMW has found a bit of leftover soul from the E36 M3 and shoved it in the M2. At 52 grand, though, it’s a bit on the pricey side for a compact sports-purpose coupe. -Bradley Brownell I drove the M235i and it was fantastic. This is going to best the M car in a long time. But M235i owners shouldn’t feel bad as I don’t think the price will justify the increase in performance for them. -Kamil Kaluski Glad it exists, but the M235 (will that still exist?) will be the better performance value. The M Tax is real. -Tim Odell I’ll be serious and say I’m strongly considering one of these… in five years after depreciation kicks in. The thought of modern BMW straight-six power and drivetrain tech in a smaller package makes this a much more attractive package than the current M4 – which I can say from experience is still a beast of a car. I love that BMW is still building something like this… almost as much as I love the things BMW used to build. -Greg Kachadurian Man, cars like this give me hope for BMW. -Jeff Glucker

BMW X4 M40i

01-2016-bmw-x4-m40i-detroit-1 Obligatory Eagle Reference. -Tim Odell I love BMW as long as I pretend things like this don’t exist. Start with a car that nobody needs or wants, add an awesome twin-scroll turbo straight-six that makes power everywhere, give it sport suspension, and add an ‘M’ to its name and you end up with something almost as stupid as the X6M. And you know why BMW still builds these? It’s because people buy them. *Facedesk* -Greg Kachadurian I hate you BMW. -Jeff Glucker

Chrysler Pacifica and Pacifica Hybrid

Pacificas_0 Pretty minivan. Dare I say, sexy. Lack of AWD option will drive a few buyers to the Sienna. This vehicle needs to be really good because the Sienna and the Odyssey are damn excellent, and the Kia Sedona is pretty much on the same level. The company that developed the original minivan hasn’t been leading the market in a long time, but they do have a lot of excellent vehicles (Grand Cherokee for instance) and if they can just follow that path, this will be a success. -Kamil Kaluski The Town and Country is dead. Long live the Town and Country! -Bradley Brownell I’d love to see the recording from the meeting where they decided to swap one of the best-known minivan names for that of a failed CUV. Surely a PT Cruiser is just around the corner. That said, this looks to be a damn-good minivan. Toyota and Honda have been sitting on their asses for nearly a decade, so it’s nice to see a fresh design and some innovation. Thankfully no AWD, as then I’d be forced to admit it’s the better purchase than a used Suburban. -Tim Odell I can’t find the quote now, but someone at Chrysler supported the name change saying something along the lines of “the Pacifica left a good impression on the market”… But did it really though? But more importantly, Chrysler’s managed to make a minivan look truly unique. Not bad at all, even if it does look like a van is wearing the 200’s face as a mask like some deranged serial killer. -Greg Kachadurian The last Pacifica left a great impression on the market, Greg… I remember dealerships trying to unload them with Buy-One-Get-One-Free deals. Also apparently their front engine cradle subframes rot out with an alarming quickness, and new ones are on indefinite backorder (Don’t ask why I know this). -Bradley Brownell Kamil is fired. -Jeff Glucker

Genesis G90

g-1_2 Not just a new car, but a new car *brand* for the Hyundai/Kia group. Perhaps with an up-market brand joining their fold, they’ll figure out what the heck Hyundai and Kia stand for instead of infighting for the same markets (Ala the Kia K900 and Hyundai Genesis Sedan). -Bradley Brownell Ok, so Genesis is turning into its own high-end brand, right? So what are we to make of the Hyundai Equus? It’s like they take a half-step towards having a cogent brand strategy, then the boss’s nephew (who runs a given product line) pipes up in some meeting and unravels the whole thing. -Tim Odell Keep an eye on this brand. Hyundai has already completely revolutionized their main lineup in what must be some kind of record time for such a large company. Now that they’ve got a spinoff luxury brand to go wild with, good things are gonna happen. -Greg Kachadurian The 2nd-gen Genesis is actually a wonderful full-size sedan. Hyundai ironed out most of my issues with the 1st-gen car (yes, probably for me personally…). I’m curious now to see where they can take this new sub-brand. I have high hopes for an Equus replacement as being a truly luxurious machine that also drives well. -Jeff Glucker

Infiniti Q50Infiniti Q50 - FINAL 1 - EMBARGOED until 12.15 3pm PT - 6pm ET

A new 400 horsepower turbo version of the VQ engine gives this sedan plenty of grunt. Now it might drive as good as it looks. If only Infiniti would sort out that silly naming structure. -Bradley Brownell Yes, gaddamn it, yes! The Q50 was always a cool looking sport sedan but without any substance. That’s is being cured for 2016 with the help of some hair-driers to the tune of 400hp. About damn time. I hope that they fixed that weird infotainment system while at it. I hope to see that engine in the next Z car. -Kamil Kaluski Handsome, speedy car that’s probably a quick tune away from humiliating a few more hardcore machines. Their naming convention’s still dumb, though. -Tim Odell They changed what they needed to and added a true-ish performance variant. Can’t really ask for more on what was supposed to be a mid-cycle refresh. -Greg Kachadurian I hate that Infiniti doesn’t let you fully defeat traction control. I’m going to figure out which fuse to pull when I eventually borrow this car… luxury sedan brake stands are fun brake stands. -Jeff Glucker

Infiniti Q60

INF15021_Q60_001_3EMBARGOED Until 1.11 1245PM EST Basically the coupe version of the Q50, right? It’s a good looking car, but it would seem Infiniti has been taking too much design inspiration from Jaguar. -Bradley Brownell The original G35 was a huge success. Unfortunately Infiniti left it like that for far too long, even after a redoing it in 2008 it seemed the same. Infiniti played safe here, but that’s wise as it looks good, no one will mistake it for anything other than an Infiniti coupe. -Kamil Kaluski Won’t mistake it for anything other than an Infiniti coupe or a Jaguar coupe, that is. -Bradley Brownell *squint* How the hell does this look like a Jag? Maybe around the headlights? I dunno. -Kamil Kaluski It’s the headlights (see the older XF). The sedan looks better. This has a bit of BMW 6-series awkwardness to it. -Tim Odell I don’t know if “pretty” is the right way to describe it, but Infiniti’s sport coupe finally got the updates it deserved and it looks promising. It’s the first production-bound Infiniti that’s made me say “I NEED to drive that”. I hope it sells well and I’m sure it will. -Greg Kachadurian I barely see Jag. I totally see luxury GT-R in that profile. Y’all muthafuckas need glasses. -Jeff Glucker

Buick Avista Concept

2016 Buick Avista Concept Last year Buick rolled out a stunningly gorgeous sedan concept and followed it up with a production version of a frumpy compact convertible built in Germany. This year Buick rolled out a stunningly gorgeous coupe concept and followed it up with a production version of an unnecessary crossover built in China. Buick, you have excellent designers on your staff, you need to let them work on stuff you’re actually going to build. The Avista will never be built, of that I am certain. -Bradley Brownell Hey now, Bradley, that frumpy convertible is built with [some] pride in Poland! You know what happened here, right? They saw my Lemons racer and they though “damn, people love that thing, people love a high performance Buick, so we should make one!!” They forgot a proper park bench spoiler but I’ll let that slip. In all seriousness, a Camaro-based Pontiac Buick, what a novel idea! I like the fact that they’re using a turbocharged V6 for power, too. They forgot about t-tops tho but they made up for it by not having the B-pillar, something that will obviously be on a production car, if one should happen to come to fruition. -Kamil Kaluski Makes a ton of sense to get more Alpha-platform and turbo V6 volume and add relevance to the Buick brand. Grand National is way too redneck; Riviera would be better. Really, I wish Ford would do this with the Mustang chassis. -Tim Odell Re: Tim – Ford killed Mercury too soon to do a new Mustang-based Cougar. -Bradley Brownell I’m not as crazy about this car as everyone else seems to be. Maybe it’s because of the personal experiences I’ve had with Buicks in the past, but I really think it’s because of the precedent Buick set when they brought their last gorgeous concept to production. The Avenir Concept ended up in production as a Buick LaCrosse, which looked similar and quite good looking, but not nearly as stunning. I get the feeling that the Avista will end up being brought to production in a car that looks good but just doesn’t deliver the same kind of beauty as what we’re looking at here. -Greg Kachadurian I’ll be happy if they actually build it… and I’m not holding my breath on this one. -Jeff Glucker

Buick Envision

01-2016-buick-envision-detroit-1 I can Envision one of these parked badly outside Trader Joe’s. Sorry, that’s all I’ve got. -Tim Odell I have less than zero interest in this car and I only know it exists because I saw “built in China” in the headlines, which doesn’t really alter my opinion in any way. It’ll be interesting to see if there’s any backlash against Buick for selling a Chinese-built crossover in America – otherwise, I’d rather watch C-SPAN completely sober. -Greg Kachadurian An American car company building Chinese knock-offs of the BMW X5. Alright then. -Jeff Glucker

Chevrolet Bolt

2017 Chevrolet Bolt EV Of everything on the list, this might be the one I’d be most likely to purchase with my own money. With a theoretical 200 mile range, this would make an excellent commuter for me, and that really diminishes the range-anxiety that comes with a lot of other EVs. GM really might have something on their hands with this one. According to people actually at the show, the Bolt looks much better in person than it does in photos. And I really don’t think it looks that bad in photos. -Bradley Brownell See my diatribe above about the Ridgeline. This is the optimal commuter car for, like, everyone. But just…ugh. It’s so sexless. -Tim Odell Chevy’s first real EV and I think they’ve got a hit on their hands. It has a better range than most of the competition at a better price and it’s not short on features. If you can get over the styling, there’s really no reason to look anywhere else for a ~$30,000 EV right now. I just hope that eventually we’ll start getting proper EVs that go beyond the usual compact city car. How about a mid-size sedan EV already or a five-door? -Greg Kachadurian Hopefully it does well and brings more EV options to the masses. Yes, I’m for that. More fuel for me. -Jeff Glucker

Lexus LC 500

lexus-lc-500-005-1 Wait! This isn’t a concept! It’s a production vehicle! That’s impressive! Hopefully it won’t be a bloated pig like the RC. This just might be the best in this show. -Kamil Kaluski I guarantee Lexus unveiled this car at Detriot just to make Acura’s NSX look foolish. -Bradley Brownell Acura doesn’t need Lexus to make them look foolish. They had the Ford GT. And the Corvette. And the Viper. And the whole line-up of McLarens. -Kamil Kaluski This car’s design has all the subtlety of a gold-plated codpiece accompanied by assless chaps. -Tim Odell Of all the cars at this year’s NAIAS, this is the only one that’s truly blown me away. Lexus is taking this very car to production exactly as is sits in front of you now. It’s a real-life concept car for the roads and it’s absolutely jaw-dropping – convenient, because it looks like the car’s jaw is already pretty low. They say it’ll start at around $100K which puts it in line with some tough competition, but I expect it’ll do well just because of how different it look from anything else on the road. If you’ve ever wanted to drive a real-life concept car, here’s your chance. Good on you, Lexus. -Greg Kachadurian It’s always fun when an automaker takes a concept, basically puts real mirrors and lights on it and says “Okay, there you go world!” That’s what happened here, and it is good. -Jeff Glucker

Porsche 911 Turbo and Turbo S

911 Turbo S Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Effectively Porsche has increased power slightly and given the car a facelift. The old Turbo was excellent, there’s no reason to believe this one isn’t. Oh, and the car now has Apple CarPlay/Android Auto, which it desperately needed. Porsche navigation sucks, and this takes one of the minor problems I had with the car and throws it away. Are they still expensive? You better believe it. They also added a potentially gimmicky “Anti-lag” system to the Turbo and Turbo S. I haven’t seen much in the way of technical information, but I found this quote floating around the internet.

As opposed to the aggressive, turbocharger-consuming setup seen on rally cars, Porsche engineers went for a milder approach, basically turning the engine into an air pump during the overrun phase. Take your foot off the gas in one of these Turbos and air will continue to flow into the cylinders. Since the air is compressed by the cylinders, this maintains the turbo’s spinning state, thus minimizing lag.

-Bradley Brownell There totally won’t be any confusion at the country golf club gatherings between the base turbo Carreras and the Carrera Turbo. Nope, none at all. -Kamil Kaluski For a culture so obsessed with technical accuracy and precision, the Germans sure suck at naming cars in ways that make sense. -Tim Odell IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE! -Bradley Brownell (and probably like 400 Porsche engineers/marketing people) Did no one tell Porsche they weren’t supposed to bring last year’s cars to the show? -Greg Kachadurian The more Bradley waxes poetic about Porsches, the less I care about them. Sorry Bradley. It’s not you, it’s the cars. While technically amazing, I find myself eyeing cars like the F-Type R, V8 Vantage GT, Z06, etc. You know… cars that are fun at all speeds. -Jeff Glucker

Ford Fusion

2017-ford-fusion-sport001-1 The new Fusion has an optional ‘Sport’ model that adds a 325 horsepower engine option. They should have called that one the FuSHOn. If Ford would let me get one with a stick, I might be swayed. Who doesn’t need a 325 horse AWD mid-sized sedan? -Bradley Brownell I drove the Ford Edge with that engine. It was impressive. After the F-150 and the Edge, I’ve got more respect for the EcoBoost engines than before, at least for power, not necessarily fuel economy. -Kamil Kaluski Can’t wait to see that motor dropped into the back of a clapped out Fiesta at LeMons in 2030. -Tim Odell Looks like Ford did as little as necessary to keep the Fusion looking current and pretty. Meanwhile, its competition (especially the Malibu) got prettier too. The big news here is they added more hybrids and a “sport” model with some proper power now. It’s not the ST model we were hoping for, but it’s close. -Greg Kachadurian

Fisker Force 1

Source: WSJ
Source: WSJ
Handsome car. Great engine. High price. They would sell a ton of them in 2010. -Kamil Kaluski It’s a Viper with a ‘lightweight’ carbon fiber body. What’s not to love about this thing? -Bradley Brownell This is like the El Pollo Loco to Chevy’s Taco Bell and Dodge’s Del Taco. In other words “huh…I guess that exists, too.” -Tim Odell There’s a lawsuit over this? Heh. It looks not boring at least. -Greg Kachadurian Meh. -Jeff Glucker

Acura Precision Concept

01-acura-precision-concept-detroit-1 Acura has to get a start on the next NSX that will debut in 10 years time. Coming up, another NSX concept, and yet another NSX production delay. -Bradley Brownell I have small tolerance for styling vision concepts. -Tim Odell (get it?)

Acura NSX

2017-acura-nsx-11_0 Exactly four years ago I was at NAIAS in Detroit where the NSX was unveiled in front of me. It’s still not on the road. I have high hopes but I am also realistic. I want this car to be awesome but I doubt that it will be. -Kamil Kaluski Are we still talking about this car? Wasn’t this version of this car unveiled at Detroit last year to almost no fanfare? Is anyone still excited about this car? -Bradley Brownell I finally get it – Acura has actually perfected the missing piece of being a “real” supercar – endlessly trotting out the same concept, re-painted with different theoretical specs on the info placard. -Tim Odell I wonder how many original NSXs I can buy for the kind of coin they’re asking for this… -Greg Kachadurian Well, not as many as you would think. Early pop-up headlight models trade hands between about 50 and 75 thousand. So, like two or three? -Bradley Brownell I must drive this. The reaction from journos in their first drive reports has been mixed at best. I need to decide for myself. I fear I won’t love it though, which is so wrong on a car like this. -Jeff Glucker

Lincoln Continental

01-2017-lincoln-continental-detroit-1

Of all the designs Lincoln has toyed with over the years, I really hope this is the one that sticks. They’ve found something that works, so rather than reinvent their whole design language again in 5 years just build off this one and give the brand some identity. We said good things about the Continental Concept and Lincoln went and built almost exactly the same way. That deserves huge credit. -Greg Kachadurian Was going to write something, but Eric says it much better below. He gets the last word -Tim Odell When I was in high school, this stoner kid named T.J. had a ratty, unrestored 1976 Lincoln Continental. It weighed at least 5,500 pounds and its 460 cubic-inch V8 bleated woefully when he matted the pedal, which was often. It occupied all of a parking space and made for the world’s best juxtaposition next to my friend Jeff’s Ford Festiva, which was electric blue with a dealer-installed decal of a bright-pink flower. And while 25 feet of Detroit iron will give some real high-school-parking-lot gravitas, T.J. and the other practitioners of fine early Malaise Era cars I hung around aspired to someday own a Continental with suicide doors because there’s nothing more baller than suicide doors. This 2016 Continental does not have suicide doors, is not baller, and is nothing to which one aspires. Lincoln, what hath ye wrought? -Eric Rood Lincoln has quietly kept its head down and gone back to the drawing board, literally. Look at the current lineup and you’ll find supremely handsome sedans with extremely well crafted interiors. Add in the fact that they went ahead and built a new Continental, gave it a real name, and kept it close to the concept, and we could be on the verge of a nice change of pace for this brand. Pay attention Acura… -Jeff Glucker

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