Tell Me Mr "islasaero", What Good is a Built 318 if You are Unable to Breathe?

1964 Valiant for saleApologies to Hugo Weaving on that one. Anyway, here we have yet another combo of decent mechanical skills and questionable taste/judgement. Just…why? There’s no reason for this. This ebay seller’s taken what would’ve otherwise been a great mildly build ’64 Valiant, a car with no major styling defects, and approximated the whole front end as one big voxel, like some kind of early 3D shooter. Even stranger, most of the modifications are done towards making a dragster or road racer, so it’s unclear what a purpose a bricked-off (bricked on?) front end serves.

1964 Valiant for sale

To its credit, that front end is made from honeycomb sandwiched between two sheets of aluminum, meaning it’s both light and stiff (heh…). That said, there’s really no excuse for it being so damn rectilinear. On the legitimate plus side, it sports a 318ci V8 with heads from a 360ci, plus a pile of other standard-fare upgrades. The front suspension’s been upgraded to an all spherical-rod-end short/long arm setup and the rear axle’s a 3.91:1 limited slip.

Back on the disappointing side, the rear door handles have been shaved and what the seller claims is a “full cage” appears to be missing any kind of cross bar behind the seat. The whole thing has a very LeMons feel, but comes in at 7X the price. You heard me: $3,500.

1964 Plymouth Valiant – eBay Motors

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  1. Cynic Avatar
    Cynic

    I don't think this car was attractive to begin with, but no car really deserves something like this.

  2. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    From the a-pillars forward, it looks like a car Gumby would drive.

  3. LTDScott Avatar

    Boxy, but not so good.

  4. Tomsk Avatar

    Yeesh…
    Manages to make the Volvo 240 look like a Malcolm Sayer creation.

  5. Robert Emslie Avatar
    Robert Emslie

    Dude, do you have any idea what an English Wheel costs these days?!

    1. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      $349 from Northern Tool http://www.northerntool.com/shop/tools/product_20

      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        Yes, but the edge of a workbench is free!

  6. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    He ready for qualifying on an oval track.

  7. buzzboy7 Avatar
    buzzboy7

    I don't understand, why is my car overheating?

  8. tonyola Avatar
    tonyola

    It looks like a Volvo except for the fact that the roof and greenhouse are too rounded and shapely.

    1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
      FuzzyPlushroom

      The 140/160/240/260 shape has about this much curve to it; obviously the old Amazons have more. Now, the 7/9/8-series really are even more square, particularly the 740/760 sedan.
      <img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4089/4973588634_7c24ea5cd7_b.jpg&quot; width=600>
      …or, if you're feeling perverse:
      <img src="http://usabilityworks.org/wp-content/uploads/volvo164.jpg"&gt;

  9. muthalovin Avatar

    Thanks! Now my nightmares have even more fodder!

  10. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    The plain, matt primer helps the car to look even more amorphous than it is.
    Mind you, with no identifying characteristics (apart from the total lack of any characteristics) it could make a terrific getaway car.

  11. mdharrell Avatar

    If this represents the first fruits of a sudden interest in KV Mini 1 replicars, I apologise.

  12. retro Avatar
    retro

    Plymouth Valiant for sale:
    Did have some front end damage, but my old man is a television repairman who's got this ultimate set of tools, so I managed to fix it.

  13. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar
    BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

    Believe it or not it can be boxier yes, bonus for who knows what this is.
    <img src="http://images.thetruthaboutcars.com/2010/03/qu.-jpg-courtesy-IMCD.org_.jpg"&gt;

    1. mdharrell Avatar

      That would be one of them-there Unipower Quasars we hear so much about.

      1. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar
        BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

        exactly

  14. Black Steelies Avatar

    like a box

  15. ptschett Avatar
    ptschett

    I've built LEGO cars that had more definition to the front end.
    <img src="http://i847.photobucket.com/albums/ab40/ptschett/lego/DSC04244.jpg&quot; width="500"/>

  16. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    You know, there's probably someone North of the Arctic Circle thinking this would be just the thing, to let them enjoy both a classic car, and feeling in their extremities while driving.

  17. Van Sarockin Avatar
    Van Sarockin

    This is the only suitable tool for those days, when you're so pissed off, that all you want to do is punch a hole in the air. A lot.

  18. B72 Avatar
    B72

    I suspect it's unfinished. He meant to cut holes for lights and cooling. But after finishing the nose he stood back and realized how bad it looked, and decided to sell.

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