"SCARY Porsche 914" Seller Wins Honest eBayer of the Week Award

1974 porsche 914 for saleThe Art of the Sale is putting a positive spin on every aspect of your ware. Rusted out? Pre-lightened! Seized motor? Great LSXFTW swap candidate! and so on, to the point no one takes you seriously. This seller does the opposite, almost daring you to pick up this car, as it’s so horrible:

THIS CAR HAS BEEN HIT MORE TIMES THAN MIKE TYSON , IT HAS MORE MILES ON IT THAN THE SPACE SHUTTLE , THE GLASS HAS VERICOSE VEINS , ITS ON CHEMO THERAPY FOR METASTASIZED CANCER , IT HAS SEVERAL HUNDRED MUD DOBBERS AND YELLOW JACKETS LIVING IN IT AS WELL AS A COUPLE OF SNAKES THAT ARE GETTING FAT ON ALL THE FIELD MICE THAT LIVE IN IT. IF YOU BUY THIS CAR AND PUT IT IN YOUR SHOP , THE NEXT MORNING YOU WILL EXPERIENCE WILD KINGDOM

1974 porsche 914 for sale (1)1974 porsche 914 for sale (3)

So…a typical sub-$1000 Porsche 914, then? In all honesty, it looks like it’d make a great LeMons car or first car for your least favorite kid (why no both?!)

$960, auction ends Friday: 1974 Porsche 914 – eBay Motors

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