In recent weeks I have taken to riding my bike, nominally as a token gesture towards staying fit, but also as a means of enjoying something other than four-wheeled, fuel-burning personal transport.
My hour-long lunchtime ride also unlocks bits of my local scenery which have hitherto been too far removed far easy walking, yet not accessible by car, and it was while exploring a lane no wider than I am tall, that I was forced to grab two handfuls of my appallingly adjusted disc brakes and bring myself to an emergency stop.


A late ’80s Ford F-150 was absolutely the last thing I expected to see in the undergrowth of a rural part of North East Essex and was so unlikely that it took my brain a couple of seconds to parse what it had just encountered. But yes, there it was.
The problem was, it was parked uncomfortably close to its (presumed) owner’s house, and closer inspection would involve trespassing. Worse still, I only had my phone camera and no real way of getting any closer optically. Nor was I able to confirm whether this immobile Mercedes W210 wagon was concealing an actual Audi S4 or just a regular old 100 with an S decal on the grille. Probably the latter.

For it to have been something notable wouldn’t be completely impossible, though – there was also an horrifically body-kitted Honda S2000 hidden behind a moss-covered GMC Safari, of all things, but by the time I saw them there were other human beings milling about.
So I did the brave thing. I hid. And then went home.
(All images copyright 2016 Chris Haining / Hooniverse)