Parking Masters: Elderly Stereotype Edition

It's hard to see in the photo, but the yellow line for the parking space is visible below the left-side taillight.
It's hard to see in the photo, but the yellow line for the parking space is visible below the left-side taillight.

We generally try and avoid stereotyping. Just because someone drives a Buick, it doesn’t automatically mean that they’re elderly. I myself still have a ’93 Buick Century gradually decaying in the rainy weather of the North Coast of British Columbia, and I’m not that elderly. Well, not compared to Graverobber, anyhow.
In this case, however, we can’t help it. Take not of how artistically she has managed to take up two spaces with the bare minimum of overlap. This is not simply rudeness, or the art of being intentionally obnoxious. Such behaviour would be exemplified by evenly parking over the yellow line, or parking at a decisive angle. No, this is simply a driver who is oblivious.
Now, just think. This is the person who shares the highway with you. This is the person you are relying on to navigate the highways safely and effectively, and not put your life in danger, or worse, damage your project car.
We waited, just to see who the driver was. Sure enough, elderly octogenarian lady who could barely see over the steering wheel. We hate stereotyping, but sometimes it happens on its own.
There are six body panels along this side of the car. She has managed to damage all six, in what appear to be separate incidents.
There are six body panels along this side of the car. She has managed to damage all six, in what appear to be separate incidents.

Spotted a particularly egregious example of a Parking Master? Send it to me at dearthair at hooniverse.com, with “Parking Master” in the subject line!

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23 responses to “Parking Masters: Elderly Stereotype Edition”

  1. joshuman Avatar

    Never park next to, behind, or in front of a vehicle such as this. My Mom's parade of vehicles exhibit remarkably similar battle wounds.

  2. Alff Avatar

    This reminds me of my elderly (and alcoholic) neighbor's Oldsmobuick. I came to appreciate plastic body panels by observing the gradual decline of that vehicle. When enough of the car had broken away such that the fenders no longer prevented the tires from launching flying debris, his adult son knew it was time to pull his license.

  3. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Do you guys substitute milk for white paint up there?
    No wonder she couldn't fit between one site of lines, they're practically invisible.

    1. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      They were pretty obvious in person; you'd never know it from the photo, but there was definitely no difficulty in seeing them.

  4. superbadd75 Avatar

    Tahburbalade actually appears to ba an Avalanche upon closer review.

  5. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    All right, I'm definitely keeping my camera out. I can understand a slightly awkward angle, but come on, it's not hard to get between the lines.

  6. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    Yikes. The older towns in KS are dotted with cars like this.

    1. Alff Avatar

      And yet truly interesting vehicles are nowhere to be found. Sad, isn't it?

      1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

        Depends, how do you feel about the Toyota Camry?

  7. Alff Avatar

    Sadly, my stepfather suffers a similar ailment, and his once pristine C6 looks much the worse for it. I think I'd rather see this happen to Buicks.

  8. Peter - Aged 65 Avatar

    good stuff, why not check out my old age information website…

  9. Find Friends Avatar

    Hey admin, very informative blog post! Pleasee continue this awesome work.

  10. kawaly Avatar

    There is noticeably a bundle to find out about this. I assume you made sure good factors in features also.

    1. Alff Avatar

      I started driving when K-Cars were still plentiful, which led to our crew's first rule of the road… don't follow the Chrysler, for exactly the reason you've described. As a result, my high school buds laugh at me to this day for owning a Dodge truck and Chrysler minivan.

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