Pandemic Blast: A new Cannonball record set?

A few days ago, I got a text that was just a screenshot. It was the image above, which shows a current-generation Audi A8 with its trunk open. Inside the trunk is a large fuel cell which, according to Road & Track, is from a boat. The most important bit of this image, however, is the caption. It says that there’s a new Cannonball record and the time is a blistering 26 hours and 38 minutes. That bests the recently set record time of 27 hours and 25 minutes, which was set back in December. And it raises questions from the Cannonball community about whether this was truly a wise move or not.

Now, for the rest of the world at large, the answer is of course that this was foolish at best. Most consider these runs to be the attempts of assholes. With the current times and averages speeds required to reach them, that view makes sense. Still, there’s a level of intrigue to be had from such runs. I’d be a hypocrite if I said otherwise. I attempted a cross-country run in an electric vehicle last fall. My own attempt was to examine a different side of the record runs. We knew we had no chance of getting the EV record. Instead, we wanted to see what it was like to drive an EV across the country.

But the focus on this latest run isn’t just a question of the reckless nature of such an attempt, but the decision to do it during a global pandemic. Now, there’s no question that it’s the best time to make this run from a purely logistical standpoint. However, it’s also the worst time. We need to be staying at home and reducing our impact on those around us. Sure, the team in the Audi A8 only needed to stop maybe two times but they are also leaving from the hardest-hit area for COVID infections in this country.

If something can be both asinine and smart at the same time, this is it. I’m sure we’ll disagree on this in the comments, and I fully understand the purely negative viewpoint on this.

What I do find funny though is the odd moral high ground taken by some in the Cannonball community. Some of the comments in the Road & Track article linked above shine a light on this. Ed Bolian, a former record holder himself, says “Do I think this is the best use of time while the country is staying in during a pandemic? Probably not, but for me to say it’s awful is like a cocaine dealer saying a heroin dealer is awful.”

Outrage over a Cannonball run, in general, makes a lot of sense. Anger from the community itself over the timing of the run is ridiculous. Go read the R&T piece for more.

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20 responses to “Pandemic Blast: A new Cannonball record set?”

  1. onrails Avatar
    onrails

    From a “only look at the cold logistics” standpoint, the conditions (I hope) will never be this good again. And it certainly looks hastily thrown together… plastic marine tanks for the auxiliary instead of a crash certified fuel cell seems foolhardy at best. Completely moronic at worst.

    For doing this in the current situation, it’s criminally near-sighted.

    One possible good thing about it is maybe it’ll cut down on the future attempts. The record time with the assist from these conditions won’t (I hope) be able to be repeated.

  2. Zentropy Avatar
    Zentropy

    The roads were probably less congested, making this run potentially less risky than if attempted at normal times. Besides, I don’t think driving a car (especially for a task that requires you to spend as little time out of the driver’s seat as possible) contributes to spreading the virus. Getting on a plane for a “necessary” business trip, however, does.

    I say this not to justify this or any Cannonball run, because I think the practice is foolish and dangerous, and offenders should be penalized with a lifetime license revocation. However, I don’t think doing it during a pandemic makes it any worse.

    1. outback_ute Avatar
      outback_ute

      Presumably they spent a bit of time in NYC before the run, and will be going wherever home is afterwards, potentially taking the virus with them.

      Not to mention it’s a bad time to potentially tie up emergency services if things go wrong, like a couple of guys who disappeared on a fishing trip here this week.

      1. Zentropy Avatar
        Zentropy

        There’s no restriction on flying from NYC to LA, which is considerably worse. Multiple flights each day cram hundreds of people in closed metal tubes so they can share air for several hours and then be dropped off in cities all over the US. Comparatively, I don’t think three dumbasses in a car appreciably contributed to the viral spread.

        The larger display of stupidity is averaging triple-digit speeds in a car across America’s highways. Hearing about deaths from COVID-19 is tragic, but it’s downright sickening to think of a family getting t-boned by some idiot trying to break a ridiculous cross-country race record on open roads.

        1. outback_ute Avatar
          outback_ute

          Ok, that probably says something, interstate travel is effectively banned here.

          Agreed on the second part, I’m thinking it is only 10% more douchey than normal.

          1. Zentropy Avatar
            Zentropy

            Well, perhaps your country’s central leadership doesn’t have its head in its ass. Our local leaders (state- and city-level) have been nothing short of outstanding in making preemptive, humanitarian, science-based decisions, and local universities have rapidly turned out innovative solutions for curbing the pandemic. Our governor didn’t have my support for election, but he sure as hell has my respect now.
            Our federal leadership’s response, in contrast, makes me embarrassed to admit I’m American.

          2. outback_ute Avatar
            outback_ute

            There are differences between federal/state/local responses here too, but fairly minor by comparison it seems.

            I have been saying that bad news doesn’t get better with time, which applies to the restrictions too; if it is inevitable there is nothing to be gained by wait and see. Of course the impact of a lockdown isn’t trivial either.

  3. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    More self-absorbed pricks being self-absorbed and prickish; and more publicity for them. Just like the a-hole with the Porsche in NYC.

    You know the movie, “Piranhaconda”? It’s a shitty tits & ass splatter fest. In order to move past that without actually raising the quality of the film, the filmmakers made it a movie about a film crew making a shitty tits & ass splatter fest. Clev-ver!
    Or how ’bout that episode of Father Ted where the Catholic church’s efforts to protest a naughty film only make everyone on Craggy Island want to watch it multiple times.

    It’s no good to publicize the exploits of a bunch of self-absorbed pricks senselessly endangering the rest of us while pretending to be scolding them. You’re still publicizing what they do, and that’s why they do it; to manipulate you into making them famous. Just cut off their supply of publicity and hopefully no one will try to copycat them. (Oh, you don’t think for every record setter there might be ten other teams doing the same shithead thing but failing?)

    Why not focus on something that doesn’t involve assholes? Asshole-Free Hooniverse starts NOW!

    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      It’s a weird line. It’s news in the automotive world. Now, it’s not good news but it’s still news and I think it’s worth discussing. What everyone does with the news is more important than the news itself though.

      1. Batshitbox Avatar
        Batshitbox

        It’s only news in the automotive world because the automotive press publicizes it. If it happened in a vacuum no one would know, and no one would try to copy the stunt. These turkeys heard about those turkeys last year and soon another bunch of turkeys will be barrelassing around endangering people with criminal negligence. You gotta break the reward cycle.

        You guys publish like, four (awesome) articles a day, why bother wasting 25% of them on dickheads? I read enough about dickheads on the regular news sites.

      2. Zentropy Avatar
        Zentropy

        The act pissed me off, but the reporting of it didn’t. Like you say, news is news, whether good or bad, and it’s not as if you put a positive, indulgent spin on it.

        I agree with Batshitbox‘s admonishment of these “self-absorbed pricks”, but nothing good comes out of ignoring what happened. If anything, reporting it might generate enough outrage to get such behavior investigated and the jackasses criminally charged. It’s not the potential publicity and notoriety that fuels these stupid attempts– it’s the lack of serious consequences. Brushing it under the rug certainly doesn’t discourage it.

      3. Batshitbox Avatar
        Batshitbox

        It’s only news in the automotive world because the automotive press publicizes it. If it happened in a vacuum no one would know, and no one would try to copy the stunt. These turkeys heard about those turkeys last year and soon another bunch of turkeys will be barrelassing around endangering people with criminal negligence. You gotta break the reward cycle.

        You guys publish like, four (awesome) articles a day, why bother wasting 25% of them on dickheads? I read enough about dickheads on the regular news sites.

        1. Zentropy Avatar
          Zentropy

          I completely understand your perspective, and I’m equally frustrated with such exploits. But if my teenaged kids’ level of awareness is any indication, Instagram alone is enough to spread the word. It doesn’t require legitimate news media outlets or enthusiast websites to fan the flames. The failure isn’t in perpetuating the “reward cycle”, as you put it– it’s in withholding punishment. There’s bound to be enough evidence to identify the guilty.

  4. onrails Avatar
    onrails

    From a “only look at the cold logistics” standpoint, the conditions (I hope) will never be this good again. And it certainly looks hastily thrown together… plastic marine tanks for the auxiliary instead of a crash certified fuel cell seems foolhardy at best. Completely moronic at worst.

    For doing this in the current situation, it’s criminally near-sighted.

    One possible good thing about it is maybe it’ll cut down on the future attempts. The record time with the assist from these conditions won’t (I hope) be able to be repeated.

  5. William Byrd Avatar

    I don’t have an issue with the timing. Most of the people complaining from the cannonball community are pissed that they didn’t get the chance to do this (technically, they did). The roads are empty, cops aren’t patrolling as much, it makes sense. Should there be an asterisk, probably not. it will depend on the circumstances. If they didn’t use $100K in equipment and dozens of spotters, technically I think that levels the playing field a bit.

    It’s definitely a bit holier-than-thou to hear former record holders bitching about it. And I like a bunch of those guys.

  6. Lokki Avatar
    Lokki

    I guess I am getting old. I am kinda over horsepower and speed. I mean 500 horsepower is common and 750 horsepower is available with a factory warranty. Even my comparatively humble 530i can cruise at 130 mph; it’s speed-limited or it would hit 155 mph. An M5 would reach 190 mph; again with a full factory warranty. There are many other cars as fast or faster than a stock M5.

    Speed has always equaled money -it’s always been about how fast you can spend- but now it just ain’t special any more somehow.

    Yes, I say this in full knowledge that I can be required to surrender my Hoon Badge upon demand….it happens to all gunfighters some day…

    1. Zentropy Avatar
      Zentropy

      I completely agree. Plus, the excessive power now comes with a multitude of idiot-proof functions, so one doesn’t really even need to be a skilled driver to experience it. Many drivers today don’t even recognize the need to respect such power.

    2. longrooffan Avatar
      longrooffan

      Show me a group of folks who back their daily drivers out of the garage and take off across country, relatively obeying the speed limits, stopping for regular petrol and pee breaks and ending up at their cross country destination safe and sound. That sounds like a road trip I can identify with.

  7. 0A5599 Avatar
    0A5599

    On the one hand, there is the challenge of crossing the country, by road, in minimal time.

    On the other hand, the timing is such that medical resources are strained.

    If only there was a way to speed from coast to coast and bring your own resources.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DF2cnlmUQAAmpFE.jpg

  8. Tiberiuswise Avatar

    I watched my tattered old The Cannonball Run videocassette the other day. What a great* movie. The dynamic of Burt and Dom. Stopping for beer in an airplane. No GPS or cell phones. Using cleavage to get out of a ticket. The veritable Love Boat full of guest stars. The casual sexual and racial stereotypes made all in good fun and without malice. Everything was just silly and campy enough to make it fun but never have to state the obvious, “Don’t try this at home kids.”

    *or objectively terrible.