In 1992, some months before I was born, General Motors launched the brand new Opel Corsa B. A thoroughly modern design for a supermini, it replaced the eighties-tastic Corsa A (known as the Vauxhall Nova in the UK) and was a surprisingly competent vehicle from a company that was throwing dud after dud for ages.
But was it really so competent that it has somehow managed to live until today?

GM of course has been no stranger to taking mildly competent vehicles and apparently being so proud of them that they imagine people will never get tired of them. Okay, that sort of worked with the Ford Panther cars but that’s because they were something unique and actually quite desirable. The Corsa B was neither unique, that was the job of the Citroen AX in the supermini market, nor was it particularly desirable.
Competent? Yes, in the same way that one toaster is better at its intended job than another, but you don’t see people making orderly queues to buy the latest and greatest from Breville are you? It’s the same story here.

However, it’s that competence as an appliance that makes it a success in what PR people adore calling “developing markets.” Who really cares about image, performance, ride quality and handling characteristics anyway? It’s cheap, it gets us around and it doesn’t break down, what else would you want for a car? It certainly is better than trying to play around in the used car market for something that may just break down a couple of blocks from the dealer.
And really, when you have those sorts of requirements it’s not really necessary to give thorough redesigns all that often. With that in Mind, allow me to introduce you to the 2015 Chevrolet Classic.

It looks like someone hastily glued a trunk into a Corsa B, that would be a silly accusation though. They’ve been producing Corsa sedans since at least 1998; when I was young and idiotic and I suggested my dad to buy one (Badged as a Monza) instead of a pickup truck; so no, it’s actually supposed to look like that. The Press blurb, what of it I can read not knowing Portuguese, flaunts the fact that it is the most affordable 1.0-liter sedan that you can buy in the Brazilian Market. The Price? Around $13,000.

Standard equipment includes a digital odometer (ooooh!) brake light (aaaah!) and side-protection impact beams (Actually quite useful and thanked for in something that will no doubt being used in the school run). Say whatever you want about the Mitsubishi mirage feeling like something straight out of the 1980’s but this actually IS from a time when Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven” was one of the hottest things on the radio. The only reason such a thing keeps on existing is that Brazil has such high taxes on cars people would actually want to buy that cars like this are the only choice. The Brazilian government is trying to counter this inequality by….forcing Nintendo out of the country with high taxes.
Oh dear…