Ever looked at a table and thought You know what this needs? An engine and 4×4 drivetrain! ? No? Well, back in the mid-50s someone in military planning did, and the M274 Mule was born. Significantly slower, but more awesome than the side-by-side UTVs that are all the rage these days, the Mule has a 1/2 ton capacity and a forward control driving position. And not much else.

The 2-cylinder drivetrain is backed up by a 3 speed transmission and 2 speed transfer case. High-gear in high range is good for 25mph, low-low is good for 1 mph. This is an “A5” model, meaning it’s without the 4 wheel steering previous generations benefited from, but it does have electronic ignition. No one wants to fiddle with points on the side of the bog.

It’s just been listed on eBay with a starting bid of $4,000, meaning it’s likely worth more than whatever you people would be towing it with.