Malaise Era Press Photo: Mercury Monarch Model or Mannequin?

We’re here to answer all of the big questions here at Hooniverse. And here’s a big one: Is the model that is, uh, “perched” on a 1980 (I think) Mercury Monarch Coupe a real person in an incredibly awkward pose or a mannequin that has been very ungracefully placed in a press photo? Regardless, this Monarch—the Granada’s forgettable slightly-upmarket cousin—came with a base price of $5,262 with the optional Ford 302 V8 making an earth-shaking 130 horsepower plus the coast of the Malaise Era-beige Landau roof (a mere $118) and some classic rally-style wheels ($310). The giant Mercury hood ornament is free of charge.

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19 responses to “Malaise Era Press Photo: Mercury Monarch Model or Mannequin?”

  1. neight428 Avatar

    Even this shitbox coupe looks good to an eye used to seeing jellybean CUV’s.

    1. Zentropy Avatar

      Honestly, I see potential here. Ditch the Landau roof, drop in a Ford crate engine, revise the bumpers, update the suspension, throw on some 18s. This could be interesting, if not outright cool.

      1. Tank Avatar

        or hell, keep the wheels as is and just get more aggressive tires

  2. mdharrell Avatar

    “…a 1980 (I think) Mercury Monarch…”
    The Monarch lost its round headlights for the 1978 model year, so this one’s a ’75-77. Narrowing it down further is tricky. Were the aero mirrors available as an option before ’76?

    1. eric rood Avatar
      eric rood

      It’s almost as if I did this with minimal research.

      1. mdharrell Avatar

        Research? I’d have thought the transition year for Monarch headlights was common knowledge.

  3. Manxman Avatar

    I kinda like the lines of the Granada/Monarch coupes but with out the ugly padded top. Lots of hot rod mods available for this platform. Could be a real sleeper. Can’t tell if the model is real or not but was the pose an inside joke?

  4. tonyola Avatar

    Malaise Mehness. This is my idea of a Monarch.

    1. Zentropy Avatar

      Hell yes.

  5. anonymic Avatar

    I tried dropping this picture into Google Images, apparently this is a Lincoln Continental Mk V.

  6. Tank Avatar

    out of curiosity I decided to look to see if there was any for sale (not like I have the room or money for a project) and found this…. Did a gator bite this car??
    ps. Sorry, I know this isn’t Last Call

    1. eric rood Avatar
      eric rood

      Florida Man, bath salts, etc.

      1. Tank Avatar

        I found it on another auction site, apparently there was an engine fire. Maybe firefighters did that to get the hood open?

  7. Shingo Avatar

    Not a bad looking car at all. But it drives like a 1960 Falcon, because it is.

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      We had a ’76 Granada. Can confirm.

  8. Harry Callahan Avatar
    Harry Callahan

    Is she dry-humping that thing?

    1. Radar Love Avatar
      Radar Love

      They call it artificial intelligence for a reason ..

    2. Alff Avatar

      Just pushing it, Truth in advertising laws in the 70s required that pose.