You’ve already pondered race cars that are lame, so let us consider something a little different: a down-on-its-luck contender needing some resuscitation. Some projects are not for the faint of heart, and other projects are not for the thin of wallet. But this Lola T332 is perfect for the buyer who’s unsound of mind and flush with ill-gotten gains. Suspend disbelief, willingly or not, and append several dozen hypothetical zeros to the posterior of your most recent bank statement, then don your silk thinking jacket and clip a Cohiba to ponder this: what would you do with such a pile of parts? How would you navigate betwixt the crazed Charybdis of corrosion and the Scylla of overreaching alliteration sacrificed sanity?

Sure, with seemingly legit Can-Am and F5000 provenance with Brian Redman at the wheel of many races, it’s really a no-brainer to drain the GDP of several developing nations bringing this Lola T332 back up to race-ready snuff. Watch the following video, narrated by Mario Andretti, and Redman gets into a similar T332 (maybe the same one!!!!!!!!111111111eleven) while discussing how drivers feel about testing and setting up racecars, to get in the mood for this return to originality line of thought.

OK, point well taken. Originality has its Kodachrome-tinged appeal, allowing the new owner to craft anachronistic role-playing memories slathered in pleather and earth tones. But tap your pedigree-obsessed skull and allow the sepia to seep out, and consider other options. Perhaps an excessively fast Dormobile-Morris Commercial J4? Custom “breadvan” bodywork with a Reliant Scimitar as the basis? The world’s sweetest Meyers Manx?

All too obvious, clearly. My vote? A Toyota Camry XV10 wagon. If there’s a vehicle that from its inception has been waiting for some justification for it blighting driveways and maligning turnpikes the world over, it’s the Camry wagon. Slipping a silhouette body over a T332 chassis may just be that saving grace the XV10 has been praying to its god of mediocrity for. Want extra bonus wrenching merit badges for your Brownie sash? Power the whole shebang with Nyquil! Hey, it’s what powered this post. You really think I could’ve conjured up the Camry wagon as an application for an F5000 chassis without a grossly irresponsible off-label use of a hallucinogenic cough medicine? Now please excuse me, I have to take care of all these spiders on my clothing.
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