What to do? There’s a 42″ black rectangle where there should be a moving image of something exotic being thrapped to within an inch of its carbon-fibre life. My Sunday Evening living room is no longer home-cinema filled with mind-blowing visuals, flat-plane crank V8 howls or tinkling piano-meets-Marina crashes.
With the house being freed of “witty” car-derived banter for an hour every Sunday, I feel at a bit of a loss as to how to satisfy my octane dependency. I could enter into discussions with my fiancé, debating the trade off  tyre profile and width vis-a-vis ride quality and refinement, but it would doubtless lead to a rapid and acrimonious divorce before the wedding bells have even stopped chiming. No. I need to find something else.
Or: Maybe there’s something else I could be doing? Maybe, now BST has arrived and we are assured of long, bright evenings, there’s something far more life-enriching I could be doing than being glued to my sofa for an hour every Sunday night? Maybe the answer is just outside my window?


This is my answer to the problem posed by the new void in the space-time continuum, now that Top Gear Used To Be A Thing.
If there isn’t a 1997 Rover 825Si sitting on your driveway right now, don’t worry. Lesser vehicles will work for my proposal just as well. My suggestion is this:
When the time slot arrives which you would previously have allocated to Top Gear, pick up the keys to whichever vehicle you have lawful access to, and go out for a drive. Sixty minutes of driving, to a soundtrack of your choosing.
If you usually watch Top Gear alone while your significant other sits tutting in another room, go alone. If you’re in a joyous relationship where both of you found Top Gear equally edifying, then share the drive. If watching each new, delicious episode was a treat enjoyed by the entire family, get everybody on board. Drive. Together. Go somewhere new. Take a local road you always meant to take.
If you agree with me, and want to keep the spirit of Top Gear alive in your own special way, take that slot and enjoy your car. Then come back and tell us where you went.
Top Gear dependency can be beaten.
(Pictures of my living room and my car provided by me. Copyright Hooniverse 2015)