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  1. On the bright side, you could just whizz through the rust holes, and save space in your sewage tank.

  2. Maybe every cop who is over 50. Anybody in their thirties would just think this was some kind of pretentious style/irony statement, and anyone under 30 would assume it was marketing for either a new movie or beverage. I'm in my thirties, and though I know a few overeducated layabouts with hippie vans and long hair, they smoke far less pot than people I know with business suits and corner offices. Presumably cops have picked up on this as well.

  3. One of the more notorious punk-bands up here back in the day, "Hippie War Machine", spray painted the words "SATIN! SATIN! SATIN!" on both sides of the VW van they used to haul all their gear to shows.
    I was riding around with my older brother one day when we saw it, and while I grinned, my brother loudly proclaimed, "What A Bunch Of Dip-Sh*ts!!!!" It reminded me, and was probably fostered by, a Rule that a good buddy of ours had:
    "Don't look at Cops…. If you do look at a Cop and he's looking at you, pick your nose but don't look away,… He'll look away first and think you are way too stupid to be doing anything wrong…."

  4. My wife bought a reel mower, which I refer to as the hippie mower. Unfortunately it doesn't actually mow hippies.

  5. I'm sure the van smells of mildew by now. Rain has come in through the poorly gasketed windows and skylights and soaked the shag carpet on the walls. I'd mention the black mold, but too many of you would want to scrape it up and snort it.

  6. How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb? One to hold the lightbulb and 50 to make the room start spinning.

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