Last Call – Sign Language Edition

I don’t know exactly when stick figures on car windows became our nations primary channel of discourse, but it is extremely handy. Here, for example, you can see that this driver has two cats- one shy of being legally considered a crazy cat lady. Also conveyed in this simple message is that, should you catch a ride with her, you probably shouldn’t wear black.

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  1. Paul_y Avatar

    I've thought about stickering the xB exactly like that. Since my last serious girlfriend (from whom the idea to own cats emanated) dumped me over a year ago, I ended up with "her" cats (she is unsafe at any speed; actually caring for pets is not in her repertoire). Besides, when I moved to CA, I didn't have it in me to get rid of the narcoleptic, sociopathic retards.
    ….so I have two cats and will die alone. When the one sleeps with me at night, that's as much pussy as I ever get.

    1. Paul_y Avatar

      The lesson: don't get into a serious relationship with somebody that you admittedly started dating in the first place for seriously shallow reasons.

      1. Alff Avatar

        Dude, you really need to get in touch with your masculine side.

        1. Paul_y Avatar

          How is dating someone based on epic tits not masculine?

          1. Tomsk Avatar

            Go on…

          2. zsm Avatar

            I like where this is going.

        2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
          Peter Tanshanomi

          I had two cats myself prior to getting married. A friend of mine once said to me, "Dude, you're 30 years old, you've never been married, you have two cats, you live next door to your sister, and you sew. How can you NOT be gay?"
          Thankfully, 14 years of marriage and a dog have pretty much shut him up.

      2. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

        Or have a better exit strategy…

        1. Paul_y Avatar

          Plans are for fools.

    2. ademrudin Avatar

      Also, never jointly get pets with someone unless you're ok with the idea of being the sole caregiver. I had the same thing happen do me (abet with a roommate, not a girlfriend). "Hey dude, are you ok if I get a cat?" "Sure." Fast forward a year, and its become painfully clear that he's entirely incapable of taking care of the cat without me and the other roommate around, so I got saddled with the cat when we all graduated and scattered to the four winds.

      1. Paul_y Avatar

        Well, I'm ok with it to the point that I'd never give up my narcoleptic sociopaths, anyway. I kinda got attached to those assholes.

        1. Black Steelies Avatar

          The way you refer to them is just grand. I hate my dumbass cat back home, but I guess she can stick around until she croaks and another one finds its way into our home.

    3. Lotte Avatar

      Dude, it's been a year. Head up, chin up, let it go; you've got a bright future ahead! Look around!
      Maybe the cats are reminding you of her?

      1. Paul_y Avatar

        They don't help. Still, I don't have it in my to give them up.
        /practicing the Sad Man's Kama Sutra

        1. Lotte Avatar

          Oh wow, TMI…

          1. Paul_y Avatar

            GIS "sad man's kama sutra"
            It's actually sfw.

          2. Black Steelies Avatar

            Haha. It's like you made this whole story up just to coincide with this depiction of your life…. but you didn't.
            <img src=""&gt;

    4. Froggmann_ Avatar

      Hmmm sounds familiar. That's exactly how I ended up with my psycho-kitty.
      BTW don't feel too bad about it. You know what the best use for a cat is?
      Self-cleaning shop rag. Try it sometime.

  2. Lotte Avatar

    Has anyone experienced an 'auto door' on a taxi? Basically, it's a stick mounted to the rear door opposite to the driver's side and the other end is near the driver's seat. This enables the taxi driver to open and close that passenger door.
    Its been bugging me for a long time; I need to know how it looks so I can make one (when I have the time, patience, a car, and a mind that still thinks this doo-hickey is cool. But still!)

    1. CptSevere Avatar

      I used to drive a cab, and I've never seen nor heard of such a thing. I can't really see how you'd need one, I mean, the passenger is usually capable of opening the door by his or her self (if they're so drunk that they're incapable of letting themselves into the car, well, they'll probably puke all over the back seat. Fare refused). Generally, they'll close the door when they leave, it's common courtesy and most people will close the car door as they exit out of plain habit. In the rare occasion when someone didn't shut the door, I'd just put the car in reverse, make sure there was room, give it some gas, then hit the brakes. If you time it right, the door slams shut, then you're on your way. Beats getting out and closing the door yourself, and it impresses the people on the sidewalk watching. Auto door? Never needed one.

      1. Lotte Avatar

        Well, it will solve the problem of the door being 'halfway closed', when it catches but is not closed. Makes loading and unloading faster, too. Wave hands, taxi brakes while opening door, hop in, driver closes the door before you know it and is driving off.
        Maybe it's location, too; I don't see a lot of taxis out here in suburbian Toronto where we don't rush off everywhere.

      1. Lotte Avatar

        What I was looking for. Thanks!

        1. Mr_Biggles Avatar

          I was in Tokyo once and all the cabs there have this gizmo. I wondered what would happen if you tried to open the door from the outside. I was told never to touch the door, but I think that was an etiquette thing (like most things that messed me up while there). If the lever locks in place like on a school bus, you wouldn't be able to get it open from outside at all, throwing many a North American cab passenger into a tizzy.

  3. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    What is that, an Infiniti G20?
    So we're looking at a Nissan driving lady with two cats, that appear to be mirror images of each other. Also, if her portrait is accurate, she has hardly any shoulders, six fingers and no forehead.
    But her legs are always wide apart.

    1. dculberson Avatar

      Sounds like my kinda woman!

    2. zsm Avatar

      Bachelors with conversion vans use these to keep score in my fantasy world.

      1. mdharrell Avatar

        Now I'm left with the image of someone putting multiple cat stickers in the rear window of his conversion van. Thanks a lot.

  4. Van Sarockin Avatar
    Van Sarockin

    Those stickers are so odd. It's like you're prequalifying yourself for stalkers.