Last Call: Older face, same joy

Did you do burnouts when you were a kid? Do you still rip the occasional burnie? If you answered no, go find joy in some minimal tire destruction. It’s good for you. Your engine will enjoy it. And the tires are screaming because they’re into the pain… it’s kinky stuff, but I’m not here to shame. Long live the burnout!

Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day. It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.

17 Comments

  1. I think the first burnout I ever did was on a motorcycle, and I was well into my twenties. I bought a ten year old Honda CB-1 with 600 miles on the ten year old tires and resolved to burn the ever loving shit out of them before I got new ones. I even taught myself how to make a circle with a line through it.

    The only cars I had in my teens that would burnout were a Pontiac Grand Ville (455 4bbl) and a Plymouth Gold Duster (318 2 bbl). Not sure why I never lit up the Poncho, maybe because it kept breaking its frame and being re-welded. The front bench on the Duster was missing the front bolts (or maybe the floor they bolted through? never looked) and had a block of wood on the tunnel to keep it from folding over backwards. One day that block slipped out, I touched the gas pedal and was like a little turtle in there with one foot kicking around looking for the brake and the other waving a Chuck Taylor out the window, car happily rolling forward into god knows what, me looking at the headliner. “There goes Batshitman in his Batshitbox!”

    I was having plenty of fun without lighting up the tires, I guess. Winter driving in American RWD V-8 cars from the ’70s was enough squirrley to last all year.

      1. This guy was a role model for me. There were certain alleyways in the Financial District of San Francisco that were closed in the afternoon so that balls expensive cafes could serve croque monsieur to middle managers. They made my messenger job difficult, so I made it a personal mission to leave stinky black squiggly lines all over the pavement after hours. Total insecure territory marking fucko behavior and I’d do it again.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKWBGxsSiTs

      2. This guy was a role model for me. There were certain alleyways in the Financial District of San Francisco that were closed in the afternoon so that balls expensive cafes could serve croque monsieur to middle managers. They made my messenger job difficult, so I made it a personal mission to leave stinky black squiggly lines all over the pavement after hours. Total insecure territory marking fucko behavior and I’d do it again.

  2. Yes, lots of them. My dad was tolerant of the behavior because I had to pay for my own tires. I was on a first-name basis with the guys at the local Kelly Tires shop.

  3. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve done a burnout in about a dozen years. But then again, most of the stuff I’ve owned in the past 12 years has been FWD or vastly under-powered RWD stuff with manual transmissions that would have been rather difficult to do so.

    1. Same, same. Whenever my tires spin not producing forward motion, I consider it my failure to go past the sweet spot of maximum power and traction. Happens mostly on ice and gravel…

  4. :Yeah I can’t remember the last time I did a proper burn out. That isn’t to say I don’t spin the tires from time to time when accelerating quickly or kick the rear out a bit. Some of that is due of course to the fact that tires cost so much darn much now.

  5. My version of maturing (back in the stone age) was changing from Wet Weather Drift Squad to going for only just getting the tail out, which a lot less obvious. I’m not sure if ending up in either fwd cars or 4wd height 4cyl diesel pickups is an evolution of that?

  6. Less burnouts for me, more donuts in a parking lot after a good snow. I’m still too much of a kid to resist. I’ve even taken my kids with me to go do donuts in the parking lot… not really sure if thats good parenting or not, but what the hell, it’s fun.

    1. I did some dirt donuts in a Focus RS press car with my two oldest in the car (both teens) and my daughter was going “weeeee” and my son was grabbing on for dear life.

  7. I actually did a short burn-out the other day in the Spider…. I was on the throttle, yes, but I didn’t really expect it to happen, since I have a limited-slip-diff now and a mere 140 Ft-Lbs (190 NM) @ 2900 of torque. However, the car only weighs about 2300 pounds with me in it, and my Pirellis are probably 8 years old.

    I am pleased to report that as long as I was squealing I stayed with it.

  8. Sadly, I don’t think I’ve ever done a proper burnout. The first car that I actually owned myself was (is) a WRX, and trying to do a burnout in one of those is likely to end badly for the transmission… I suppose the G70 I added to the stable a little over a year ago might be able to do it, but it doesn’t quite feel in its character, and I wouldn’t feel good about doing it.

    I kind of wish I’d taken the opportunity to teach myself to do burnouts when my folks were finally retiring their old Volvo 940, but with its auto I doubt I could have.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here