Last Call: Getting the Most From Your New Volvo Edition

It’s with a great sense of sadness that I come across these small reminders at the junk yard of the promise and excitement a car might have held when new.
Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day.  It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.
Image: ©2016 Hooniverse/Robert Emslie, All Rights Reserved

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

40 responses to “Last Call: Getting the Most From Your New Volvo Edition”

  1. Professor Lavahot Avatar
    Professor Lavahot

    So I think I want a short-wheelbase Transit Connect Wagon. It’s not perfect, but it comes the closest to ticking all of my versatility boxes. Am I a damned fool? (Note: actual purchased van would be in better color).

    1. Batshitbox Avatar

      Ford’s utility vehicles are the bomb, I say go for it. That’s the wee one, right? The Transit comes in a variety of shapes, some of which look suspiciously like facelifted econolines.
      Wait, are you The Professor from Atomic Toasters or leroooy from Hooniverse? Not that that changes my vote.

      1. Professor Lavahot Avatar
        Professor Lavahot

        Aw I haven’t been on Atomic Toasters in a long time 🙁
        Definitely the latter!

        1. CruisinTime Avatar

          Bring back the Atomic Toast !!!

        2. Texlenin Avatar

          Ermagerd, Doc! I thought the Bugs got you in the attack!
          Good to hear you’re still kickin. Got that gold-pressed Latinum
          ya owe me?

    2. JayP Avatar

      Lower it an inch all around and a set of BBS reps would set this thing off.×382.jpg

      1. Batshitbox Avatar

        Looks like it’s wearing a retainer.

    3. Alff Avatar

      More power to you. I’ve tried repeatedly to convince my wife that this would be better than a Grand Caravan. No luck yet.

      1. Professor Lavahot Avatar
        Professor Lavahot

        I’m not so sure myself, to be honest. A basic Caravan AVP comes with way more horsepower than any car I’ve ever owned. Problem is, who knows how long it’ll last? At this point I’m just trying to feebly guess which van has the most rugged transmission, the other features are just gravy.

    4. crank_case Avatar

      These vans are just brilliant, my wife drives a first gen one from time to time for work and it’s just so versatile for something so compact and car like. My only gripe being that the passenger seat doesn’t slide or having sufficient bracing for your foot so you end up gripping the Jesus handle a lot. They rock a diesel here for commercial fuel rebate reasons, but that’s ok, it suits the character it. This young guy in Ireland has even built a camper out of one by cleverly using the fact the seats drop to make more bed space:
      Total build cost? (euros)
      Van – 1750
      Clutch Kit – 200
      Plyline kit – 190
      Insulating foam 20
      carpet – 15
      ply – donated
      wood – donated
      screws etc – 20
      camping cooker – 12.50 (Halfords)
      Bed Foam – donated
      Serious respect, and fantastic to see younger petrolheads just getting out there and having fun, makes me wish I was young enough to not need a chiropractor if I sleep in anything other than my own bed. Move over burgeois gentrified faux hippy “sooo retro darling” pinterest bait middle class VW camper, this is the real people wagon.

      1. Sjalabais Avatar

        Really nice. There’s a lot of thinking here that I recognise, but I tend to remember that I own a couple of tents. Yet a van like this would be my option for reducing back pain…favourite photo:
        About that last sentence of yours: About once a year I get a request, usually by my sister’s friends, how to acquire a VW Transporter in order to create something by themselves. I preach the gospel of the Hiace, but there are a lot of deaf ears around.

        1. Monkey10is Avatar

          You should preach the Gospel of Delica. Or Bongo Super Friendee.
          The latter would probably at least ensure that they never ask you again…

    5. Dabidoh_Sambone Avatar

      The Euro market Ford Grand C-Max with dual sliding doors would be a better choice based on my week’s rental of one. Except that they won’t / don’t sell them in the US.
      I *do* like the origami lines of the Transit though.

    6. SlowJoeCrow Avatar

      How many seats do you need and are you open to buying used? We just got a 2014 Mazda5 ex rental for relatively cheap and love the Tardis like interior. The short TC reminds me of a latter day Mitsubishi Expo, the long wheelbase model is like a slightly larger and boxier Mazda5.
      I also like the Mazda’s no cost navigation option, my smartphone sits neatly on the ledge above the glove compartment door alongside the K-9 figure (“in the car with the little tin dog”)

      1. Professor Lavahot Avatar
        Professor Lavahot

        A used or CPO Mazda5 is definitely on our radar, again for it’s low footprint. I think it might even have the same 2.5L Duratec engine as the Ford Transit Connect. It also weighs the least, which is always a plus.
        Do the rearmost seats in a Mazda5 come out? We really only need it to be a 4-5-passenger vehicle, the cargo area ends up being for dogs or kid junk, bikes, etc.

        1. SlowJoeCrow Avatar

          None of the seats in the 5 come out, but the third row folds flat to make a good load floor and the second row can also be folded to make a flat load floor big enough for 2 mountain bikes with the front wheels removed.
          According to Wikipedia the 2.5 Duratec is a license built Mazda L which makes sense since the Mazda5 and Transit Connect are both built on the global Focus platform.
          I think the 5 is a better car than the TC because it more aerodynamic and has higher gearing.

    7. Vairship Avatar

      We bought a 2015 LWB Transit Connect a few weeks ago. Great car for hauling the dogs around, and fantastic visibility all around (unlike pretty much every other modern-day vehicle). Still small enough to park easily.
      With the SWB you get the choice of 2.5 liter or EcoBoost engines, the LWB only has the 2.5l.

  2. Frank T. Cat Avatar
    Frank T. Cat

    So for #nationalselfieday I’d thought I’d share this photo:

    View post on

    What’s that on the tow dolly? Oh, just another GM2900 platform SAAB.

    View post on

    It’s another 1997 900. But this time it’s a three door 900SE 2.0T with a 5spd manual. 😀
    138k miles, no rust, leaks oil from everywhere, and has basically metal-on-metal brakes. Only $900 though! That makes $900 900 #2, and my fourth SAAB. At once. Four GM2900 SAABs at once. Dear god, save me.

    1. CraigSu Avatar

      Not to overstate the obvious but apart from gasket and seal failure it wouldn’t surprise me if the oil leaks were partially due to using fully synthetic oil. My ’99 9-3 SE absolutely hates full synth. If I use regular or even hybrid the oil leaks completely stop.

      1. Frank T. Cat Avatar
        Frank T. Cat

        It’s got a bad valve cover gasket, the distributor hole plug needs to be resealed, it needs the head bolts torqued down, the front main seal is leaking, and the oil cooler o-rings are leaking on both ends of the oil cooler hoses lmao. Normal high mileage SAAB stuff.
        I already have a new front main seal in stock, and a good valve cover gasket. I should have some o-rings for the oil cooler, too. I do need to get the correct DIC though; some ignoramus put a T7 DIC in the car. :/

        1. CraigSu Avatar

          Yep. T5 red top for an SE.

      2. outback_ute Avatar

        Would an owner that neglects maintenance that much use full synthetic?

    2. Batshitbox Avatar

      Aw, you got me beat! I had three B-motor SAABs at once and only paid for one. A 1980 900GLE (in the USA, basically a 99 GLE) a ’79 99 something and another 99 something. It was a long time ago.

  3. JayP Avatar

    We’ve seen beat to hell cars, cars that look like a Pep Boys puked on it and we have to wonder was there a day when the new owner took delivery of that car and had joy in their heart.

  4. salguod Avatar

    I’m not sure what I’m looking at there. Volvo owner’s manuals came in a little blue box? (insert Dr. Who joke here)

    1. Maymar Avatar

      VHS owners manual?

      1. dukeisduke Avatar

        It looks like some kind of digital picture frame kind of thing. I did a Google search for images, but didn’t find anything.

        1. Sjalabais Avatar

          Whatever it is, I hope it ended up converted on YouTube. A quick search yields nothing though.

      2. Guest Avatar

        VHS looks very close, but it looks to me like the proportions are off (too wide?).

        1. JayP Avatar

          Betacam SP?

          1. Monkey10is Avatar


  5. Sjalabais Avatar

    So local health officials are running a campaign against the dangers of salt under the tagline: Things that we know today are dangerous, but didn’t know were dangerous back then. It compares salt to driving with kids in the boot and riding a bike without helmet. And a smoking doctor. I feel like there’s one good comparison in here.

    1. kogashiwa Avatar

      You can take my salt from my cold dead dehydrated hands.

      1. Sjalabais Avatar

        I was so hoping for a liberty based reply, delivered with just the right amount of testosterone.

      2. Texlenin Avatar

        Ya want Natron (potassium chloride) for that, me bucko…
        Salt:a world history by Mark Kurlansky

    2. dukeisduke Avatar

      Freakin’ nanny state garbage.

    3. Vairship Avatar

      That doctor’s office is clearly a front for the Palestine Liberation Organization!

  6. Batshitbox Avatar

    It’s with a great sense of sadness dismay that I come across these small reminders, at the junk yard sidebar of this page, of the promise and excitement a car banner advertisement slot might have held when new.
    Kidding aside, I heart Hooniverse because the sidebar is not full of animated videos advertising irrelevant drek and clickbait. Still, that awesome wizard-in-a-Trans-Am image is going to waste over there. Can I make that my avatar?

    1. Guest Avatar

      I might have to get one of those…

  7. theskig Avatar

    i want to know what the blue thing is! A Microsoft Surface from the 80’s? 🙂

%d bloggers like this: