I Buy My Wranglers With a 94-Inch Waist

Here’s a 1980 Jeep Wrangler from eBay with a starting bid of $5,000. Nothing special you might say- sure it’s jacked up, it has some pretty big knobblies, and it’s fire engine red, big deal. Well, it just so happens it is a big deal, and you’ll see why after the jump.

Um, yeah. . . that would be the reason. This Wrangler has been widened more than Octomom’s. . .well, you know. Sporting an additional 10-inches in width over a standard YJ, this uberJeep, at 94-inches, is even wider than a Hummer H1.

All that extra width gets you both lane dominance and the bragging rights that you’d need to dial long distance to talk to your passenger.  The fact that it’s only a two-seater only increases its insanity factor. Under the phat hood is an equally phat 454-cid V8 and plenty of room for another should that not be enough, and oil-change access is of the duck-your head rather than lie down variety.

Inside it’s full of molded plastic racing buckets, a cage, and enough diamond plate that it could be a girl’s best friend. One girl who is not to friendly with this phat Jeep is the seller’s wife, who has apparently laid down the law that it’s time for him to stop playing with the Jeep and start getting busy with her, as she’s ready to get phat herself, as in preggers that is.

All is not perfect in Phat City and there’s still some loose ends to tie up on this project off-roader. The transfer case currently needs to be engaged from below the truck, so an in-cab lever needs to be installed. There’s also the matter of the brake light switch and the lack of a back window, but the biggest drawback maybe the fact that the truck is untitled, making its roadability less capable than its off-road prowess.

They say every-thing’s bigger in Texas, but this Florida-based Jeep stands in dispute of that claim. Perhaps a Lone Star state purchaser will bring it home, correcting that oversight.

eBay. Thanks to theallpowerfulme for the tip!

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