Hooniverse Asks- Which Would You Choose- Sex With Your Favorite Celebrity, or a Day Driving your Dream Car?

This is an obviously hypothetical question because, well. . . I mean, look at us. But let’s say you had the choice of a night of bumpin’ uglies with the one person in the public eye that really gets your motor started, or spending a day driving the car that stalks your dreams, and taunts you with its un-obtainability. Faced with that conundrum, which would you choose?
I bet Jennifer Aniston can really get it on. I also jones for some seat time in the center-position pilot’s chair of a McLaren F1. Being VERY married, my choice is simple; if it came down to being more than just. . .  with the former Friends star, or emptying a tank or two in the formerly fastest production car on the planet, I’m afraid that Jennifer would have to go it alone, and my carbon foot print would be thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big. Booya.
But what about you, would you pick George Clooney  over a Cobra? Angelina Jolie over a Lamborghini Jota? Do you have an agreement with your significant other that, in the event that certain celebs throw themselves at you, you are A-Okay for launch, the mutual approval being based on the utter absurdity of the event’s possibility quotient? Do you have such an agreement with your car? Unless it’s somebody like the petri dish that is Courtney Love, there shouldn’t be any lasting physical effects of a celebrity tryst, and likewise, a day behind the wheel of a dream ride won’t make it physically impossible to re-enter your daily driver. Emotionally however, such a event can have life-altering repercussions. Say you spend the day carving up canyons in a 458 Italia, how would that drive feel the next time you did it in your Cobalt or Camry?
By the same thought, let’s say you and Marisa Tomei find yourselves sharing the last motel room available after your bus breaks down in a blizzard, and the only way to stay warm is to spoon together naked, to share body heat. One thing naturally leads to another, and pretty soon you’re opening the window to cool the room down and prevent the plastic ice bucket from melting. I’m not saying Ms. Tomei has any kind of superhuman sexual powers, I’m only implying that it looks to me as though she might. After such an Oscar® winning performance, regular, non-celebrity gettin’ busy might also not continue to hold the same appeal.
So, what’ll it be, the ultimate sex, or the ultimate car? Move over, I’ll drive, or bend over, I’ll drive? Which is it, sex with your dream, or driving it?
Image sources: [ Motorcrave.com, Jaunted.com]

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58 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- Which Would You Choose- Sex With Your Favorite Celebrity, or a Day Driving your Dream Car?”

  1. tonyola Avatar

    Do I get to choose the place to drive my car? Like a great empty road course? Can I pick unobtaniums like a Duesenberg SSJ or Porsche 917? As for the celebrities, all I'll say is that sometime the hottest dates end up being the coldest fish.

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      Unobtaniums — why not? It's not like your favorite celebrity is realistically any less unobtainable.
      Really unobtainable? The Lunar Rover. On the moon.

  2. muthalovin Avatar

    I would much rather get hot and sweaty with a Ford GT than any current celebrity. Which begs the question, what about dead celebs?

    1. Feds_II Avatar

      I had a point, but IntenseDeNibbles hates Janine Turner.

      1. LTDScott Avatar

        I briefly saw the photo you posted and concur with your thoughts. I haven't seen/heard her lately though.

        1. Feds_II Avatar

          Last I saw her was in '08 on TV, on some talking head show discussing how the main-stream-liberal-fat-cat-media are unfairly characterizing a certain female VP candidate, and then I tuned out and was sad that it's not 1994 anymore.

    2. engineerd Avatar

      I was all like, "Yes yes yes!" at the Ford GT. Then I was like, "Ewwwww" at the necrophilia.

      1. Feds_II Avatar


    3. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

      but there are no current Celebrities, they stopped making those years ago!
      <img src="http://chevrolet-parts.uneedapart.com/images/chevrolet-celebrity-parts.jpg"&gt;

      1. njhoon Avatar

        And, in my opinion they are not dragon worthy. At All.

        1. Feds_II Avatar

          there are celebrity's, and then there are CELEBRITY'S
          <img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4047/4425901396_496b555222.jpg"&gt;

          1. tonyola Avatar

            I drove a rented '86 Celebrity Eurosport wagon for a few months in the '80s – black with wine-red cloth interior and full load of options. It was better than I expected to be, with surprisingly good handling.

  3. Smells_Homeless Avatar

    I'm pretty sure I could pick up my own celebrity in a Miura. Even if not, I'll take my chances.

  4. LTDScott Avatar

    Well at least the car can't tell me that I'm inadequate….

    1. Feds_II Avatar

      Probably can't go through a whole tank of gas in 3 minutes either.

      1. Deartháir Avatar

        Aha! A challenge!

    2. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      well actually… if you end up in a guard rail, it pretty much just told you that.

      1. Tomsk Avatar

        Did somebody say "Porsche 930?"

  5. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    I truly, honestly, sincerely believe in monogamy. Hand on heart, I really can't think of anybody I would realistically want to sleep with other than my wife.
    That being said, I am, however, enthusiastically polydriverous. Driving a new and different car, bike or watercraft for the first time is one of my favorite and most rewarding experiences. My ultimate driving fantasy would be a track orgy — having both Willow Springs and the Streets of Willow to myself, with, let's see… an Ariel Atom, a dedicated open-wheeled racecar (something I could realistically handle, like a Formula Ford), a shifter kart, a Honda S2000, an Ultima GTR, a new Z06 Vette, and let's throw in a GMC Typhoon for good measure. Oh, and maybe that Aprilia SXV 4.5 from the other day.
    And the next day I go to the desert in a race-prepped, long-travel Chenowth buggy, and a BMW HP2 Enduro, and a Raptor, and…

  6. BGW Avatar

    I don't see why the two have to be mutually exclusive, honestly.

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      Because that's the way the relevant conundrum was posed.

  7. SSurfer321 Avatar

    World Class Driving Tour: Starting at $1700 to drive five exotic cars for one day.
    World class celebrity sex: Starting at 1/2 your assets/income for the rest of your life.
    The choice is easy.

    1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

      Choose wisely and you get 1/2 of HER assets/income for the rest of your life.

      1. Alff Avatar

        That was my father's advice to me. I should have listened.

  8. engineerd Avatar

    A day with a GT40 or Charlize Theron?
    Tough choice. I mean, Charlize is on my list so Mrs. engineerd can't do anything about me honkin' bobos with her.
    On the other hand, a day with a GT40 will last longer. Way longer.

    1. Maymar Avatar

      Ooh! What about a day of riding shotgun to Charlize Theron driving a GT40?

      1. engineerd Avatar

        Stop. You're getting me excited.

  9. Maymar Avatar

    Although I may have inadvertently developed a few implicit freebies, I'm sure things would still be awkward with my fiancee afterwards. Not so much if I've driven an awesome car.

  10. Deartháir Avatar

    Absolutely, yes.

  11. BlackIce_GTS Avatar

    Pick one woman? Not that difficult. Pick one car? Impossible!
    Fortunately for real life, there's one of those it's socially acceptable to have more then one of.

  12. P161911 Avatar

    Being married, I'll have to choose the option that doesn't end in divorce. That being said I recent passed on an Internet Special for the Buck Baker driving school. 15 laps at speed (~160mph) in a Cup car (5 with instructor driving, 10 with me driving) at Atlanta Motor Speedway, all for only $150. I never considered it for the regular $400, but $150 was really tempting. I'm not a huge NASCAR fan, but still 10 laps at the wheel of a ~600hp machine on a racetrack for only $150. My wife wasn't too hot on the deal, even after I reminded her of the life insurance. In the end I decided it wasn't worth the hassle/fight.

    1. LTDScott Avatar

      Wow, that's a bummer. $150 for that is a damn good deal.

      1. P161911 Avatar

        To make it worse, one of the drive dates was on my birthday. It was a 24 hour only deal from groupon.com, it was good at any of the tracks with a Buck Baker school.

        1. LTDScott Avatar

          I'm glad that my soon-to-be-fiancee (shhh) has no opposition to my LeMons racing.

          1. dculberson Avatar

            OH NO YOU DIDN'T!! preCongrats.

  13. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    For me, it depends on who does the asking.
    In my university days, I never really went out "on the pull". In the shitholes we tended to frequent I was dead unlikely to meet anyone very interesting, let alone somebody I'd want to share a bed with. I never really saw the appeal of sex for the sake of sex, either. Chances are it would be crap, drunk sex and would lead to nothing but bitterness, regret and a hollow feeling of self loathing. Seriously, if the need arises, going solo with the aid of a hi-res video is a much better bet.
    Er, where was I? Oh yes. If there was a contractual agreement whereby I hold an "access all areas" card with access to all Scarlett Johannsons areas, just because I'd quite like to have sex with her, then I'm afraid I'd have to spend the day driving back and forth over the Stelvio Pass in a Ferrari 288 GTO.
    But then again, if Ms Johansson called me, said she's seen my IntenseDebate profile and wants to get to know me better, then happy days. She asked me! How much more of an achievement would that be?! Were that the case, the Prancing Horse would stay in its stable.

    1. skitter Avatar

      That red Zonda never called.

      1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

        Bloody Italians!

  14. superbadd75 Avatar

    Even with the "approval" of my wife, I'd never live down an affair of any type, be it with Halle Berry or otherwise. Not only that, but I'm quite certain that I would find no enjoyment in adultery. That's not even to mention the fact that I'm more than happy with my beautiful wife's sexing skills, and there's just no reason to even remotely consider the celebrity scenario. The thought of taking a cruise through the mountains in a Carrera GT is much more enticing than a day of sleazy hotel room sex with Tia Carrere. I'd much rather burn a set of tires off of a Miura SV, or beat the ever-loving snot out of a pristine 356 coupe. Celebrities just seem like they'd be way more trouble than cars.

  15. lilwillie Avatar

    I can close my eyes and rub one out. I can't close my eyes and feel that perfect Apex..

  16. Alff Avatar

    I'll take Sabine. Maybe then, I can have both.

  17. engineerd Avatar

    I'm seeing a pattern: we're all too honest and honorable. Well, y'all are. I have a kitchen pass on Charlize, so there.
    Though, to be honest, I probably would feel bad about it afterwards and then I'd have to find George Clooney and convince him to sleep with my wife so we would be "even", which we are never "even", and then someone would say something, and we'd get in a fight. I'd spend a night on the couch, formulate a plan to apologize, execute said plan, and then have awesome make-up sex.
    Suddenly, this isn't sounding bad again.

  18. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    Better the Stelvio on a Stelvio than the San Bernadino on a St Bernard!

    1. Deartháir Avatar

      Rusty, I can't tell you how glad I am you've come to join us over here.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        Amen to that. [Redacted] was the worse off when you stopped frequenting the comments.

      2. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

        Aw, you guys! Also, my Girlfriend sanctioned my Johannson quandry last night, said I'd be insane to turn her down. This one's a keeper.

  19. Spencedaddy Avatar

    a full 2 days with a decently modded GMC Syclone, or a built and turbo'd first gen Lightning, prefferably mine
    no police on the roads, and a local import and muscle show,
    soooo many red light races i'd have to get a new belt for notching
    or a night with Giselle Bundchen, or Megan Fox
    in typing this i thought it would be waaaay easier, but its not!
    i'm still gonna have to go with the cars, its just too tempting, adrenaline for days and videos to prove, or a few hours of pleasure
    give me the keys boys.

  20. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    I love that lead-in photo…

  21. SSurfer321 Avatar

    I've figured out how to have my cake and eat it too.
    1. Sex with celeb.
    2. Video tape my 90 seconds of glory
    3. PROFIT!
    4. Buy car(s) of my dreams
    5. I think a check with enough zeroes would help the wife forgive my trespasses

    1. superbadd75 Avatar

      You win this scenario. I award you all of my internetz.

  22. dculberson Avatar

    Ryan Reynolds?? Oh, dude. I'm sorry.

    1. engineerd Avatar

      Don't be. He doesn't have to sleep with him.

  23. NMUSpidey Avatar

    I married the woman of my dreams and celebs just don't interest me that much, so a day in the ever-so-beautiful DB9 it is!!!!

  24. njhoon Avatar

    Sex with a celeb for a day with any car for a day. This is pretty tough, on one hand you might be able to bump ugly with someone because of the car, on the other hand the celeb thing could be awsome. Would the wife have to know about this? – Who am I kidding sex with Megan Fox or similar for a DAY, a whole DAY! Sorry but my auto fantasies are closer to obtainable any of the celebs.
    Give me a handful of viagra and other supplies, I'll take the celebs.

  25. Tomsk Avatar

    Lessee here…my picks for celeb and car would be Diora Baird and the Porsche 917L, respectively.
    One was made before I was born, features innate natural beauty and flowing curves in all the places needed to make it impossible for one to cross one's legs for hours after viewing, is more capable and sophisticated than outward appearances might indicate, and no doubt makes the most spine-tinglingly glorious noises when being ridden hard.
    The other is an old racecar. Sorry, Porsche.

  26. Sr Biff Avatar
    Sr Biff

    Do I only get one go at the celebrity or do I get to ride in that all day also? That's what would close the deal for me. If I finally got to hop on my favorite celeb, I'm afraid I may missfire. I'll need the "first lap" as a freebee so I can try to put together a decent time.

  27. KillerMouse Avatar

    I think I have a chance of owning an SLS AMG someday. In 20ish years after they've depreciated to hell. But I have no shot of ever getting it on with Christina Ricci. Yes, that's my girl, I don't care what anyone else says. So I'll spend my time with Ms. Ricci.

  28. coupeZ600 Avatar

    I just want a new clutch-cable in my Honda. Getting parts for these things is agonizingly slow, but when it's rolling nobody thinks you're compensating for something (other than the fact you can't get parts.) Chicks absolutely love this Car.