Hooniverse Asks: What’s the Most Immature Person’s Car?


 
Yesterday we tucked in our shirts, combed our hair, and for the moment at least said goodbye to the kiddie table as we discussed what might just be the world’s most grown up car. That’s all over and while it was fun to play let’s pretend I’m glad to get back to the juvenile hijinks once again.
To that end, which is a one-hundred and eighty degree turn from yesterday’s grown up question, today we want your opinion on which is the most immature car on the road today. Is it the Alfa C4? The Kia with the rodent infestation? Or, maybe it’s the Bugatti Chiron because how else can we denigrate those rich enough to afford it?
Whichever you think it is, let us know. Or else we’ll give you such a wedgie.
Image: Amazon UK

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97 responses to “Hooniverse Asks: What’s the Most Immature Person’s Car?”

    1. crank_case Avatar
      crank_case

      The official car of ageing rock stars who should be old enough to know better.

    1. Jofes2 Avatar
      Jofes2

      Any?

          1. crank_case Avatar
            crank_case

            Yes…
            Funnily enough, the only two (yes two) in my locality are owned by two brothers in their their 20s, who have made their money by playing minecraft and other games on youtube. (not putting that down by the way, well done for finding a niche) One of the cars featured a wrap of dubious taste for a while. You’d think this cars eco credentials would make it a mature choice, but really and older driver would have been less seduced by the cars Delorean-esque flashiness, realized it does neither eco or sports car well, then bought an i3 and a classic 911 or something.

      1. nanoop Avatar

        Any any?
        upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/47/BMW_Isetta_bubble_car_-_Flickr_-_exfordy.jpg
        (ok, Lambo is quite a strech here now.)

      1. Kiefmo Avatar
        Kiefmo

        *VW doors.

        1. crank_case Avatar
          crank_case

          Audi Doors?

    2. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      Anything that isn’t a mid-engined super car with Lambo doors.

  1. crank_case Avatar
    crank_case

    The Alfa would reflect someone old enough to remember when Alfa was a thing. Not maturity of course, but not “down wiv the kids”. Funnily enough, after my last choice of Honda Fit for maturity, in terms of new cars, I think the new Civic Type R gets the immaturity award, it’s only a couple of laser cannons short of being a 12 year old fantasy car.
    http://images.car.bauercdn.com/pagefiles/14126/hondcivictyper_02.jpg
    …of course one could argue that even ownership of a vehicle indicates some degree of getting it together, so the most immature car is an Uber ride or whatever your folks own.
    The local answer, is what we call the Felt Spec car (named after the Northern Irish town of Magharafelt), a felt spec car would be:
    – Diesel
    – Chip tuned
    – big wastegate
    – Particulate filter removed
    – Usually VAG
    – slammed to the pavement on cheap coilovers
    – oversize wheels and other cosmetically dubious modifications.
    http://www.autolifers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/autolifers_felt_spec_new_cars_1.jpg

    1. Kiefmo Avatar
      Kiefmo

      I would DD a Civic Type R in a heartbeat.
      Which is about how long it would take for me to lose my license DD’ing one. Because my current DD moves its nearly-two-ton bulk with a mighty 120hp/170tq, and I think I’d lose my mind with the newfound power.

  2. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    I have joined my local FB groups for VW, Subaru and rod builders in the hope that I can find some good deals on parts. I had to drop one of the groups because of the constant immature nattering. As much as it pains me to say, this is THE immature person’s car … even when compared to the WRX boys. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f5a7dd378741cfc3ef8f7c1c5980b8fbceb88d4713e713959c235c119857b9c7.jpg

    1. JayP Avatar
      JayP

      I’d found the same with the Focus ST forums.

    2. crank_case Avatar
      crank_case

      Plus it’s hard to say VAG without sniggering.

      1. nanoop Avatar

        I don’t understand, you are too vague.

        1. crank_case Avatar
          crank_case

          Swirl Flaps

        2. Lokki Avatar
          Lokki

          You’ll just have to speculate.

    3. Hillman_Hunter Avatar
      Hillman_Hunter

      You know what’s really sad about this? I bought a Mk VI GTI because practical, and the thing is boring the shit out of me. Trying to make a GTI into something hot is as delusional as it is futile.

      1. Sjalabais Avatar
        Sjalabais

        The Scandinavian answer to the Golf was for a long time the Volvo 240. This Swedish image says that tuning a Volvo is like putting make up on a pig, and it is what your comment reminded me of. It’s true, too, even though the 240 has a pretty nice weight distribution and unexpected willingness to be tossed around.
        http://rs10.pbsrc.com/albums/a108/pwaal/volvo.jpg

        1. Hillman_Hunter Avatar
          Hillman_Hunter

          That’s a good example. The immaturity I failed to articulate is that since MK IV, the GTI has simply been a very good family hatchback. It fails to replicate the joy of driving the MK I to III versions, and the fan boys today just don’t get that. Instead they stance the car and make it a non-handler, or else jack up the power and pump up their lacking egos with a dyno sheet.
          /max judgement mode

    4. Rover 1 Avatar
      Rover 1

      Worldwide though, surely it’s one of these.Specially now the first model is cheap.
      https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/z/UuUAAOSwOVpXVhDy/$_86.JPG

    1. outback_ute Avatar
      outback_ute

      Opened the page expecting to see this (well a smaller version!), was not disappointed.

  3. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    It even looks like it is wearing a straight billed ball cap backwards.
    http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2011/09/02-2012-mini-cooper-coupe-fd.jpg

    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      I consider this a car for a very mature person, with a sense of style and bad eyesight.

    2. Kiefmo Avatar
      Kiefmo

      I think the only new Mini I could have would be a convertible. And that would be only if I couldn’t find a MK3/4 VR6-swapped Cabrio.

    3. crank_case Avatar
      crank_case

      Trying too hard, like a mom trying to reach kids through Christian Hip Hop

      1. Harry Callahan Avatar
        Harry Callahan

        How did a picture of a car devolve to mocking Christians?

        1. crank_case Avatar
          crank_case

          Not mocking Christians, would even regard myself as (a less than exemplary) one, just well intentioned but cringeworthy attempts to be “down with the kids”. A bit like the religious education teacher back in high school that thought she was being cutting edge by playing Iron Maidens Number of The Beast for it’s biblical reference, which might have been vaguely with it in 1982 (and even then they were a bit nerd metal), but we were at the height of post Nirvana alternative.

          1. outback_ute Avatar
            outback_ute

            You might like this one then; Salmon Hater – 6.66

          2. crank_case Avatar
            crank_case

            Haha. I’ll pass on this one. 🙂

          3. outback_ute Avatar
            outback_ute

            It’s actually pretty funny, the breakfast guys on the national youth radio made up the name of their favourite metal band and song (6.66 is 1/100th of the Number of the Beast), then out of the blue a listener wrote the song and it ended up being voted to 26 in the Hottest 100 competition they hold each year.

  4. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Anybody driving one if these (jack up bro truck with stacks) is not someone that you will be able to have an intelligent conversation with.
    http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/attachments/general-chit-chat/576354d1297217126-diesel-trucks-ricers-future-stacks.jpg?stc=1

    1. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      Bonus points if it’s been financed for 96 months, with three other upside down loans rolled into it (along with all the mods), by someone who works seasonally for entry-level wages.

      1. P161911 Avatar
        P161911

        A bunch of the ones I see are driven by high schoolers, so either daddy paid for it or they are driving Daddy’s 2 year old truck after Daddy got a new one. Either way they cost 2-3 times what my truck did new.

    2. crank_case Avatar
      crank_case

      Trucks like this are a way to tell the world you were only allowed to play with Tonka toys as a kid as you couldn’t be trusted with Hot Wheels.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

        Because you’d try to swallow anything you could fit in your mouth.

        1. crank_case Avatar
          crank_case

          For kids like this, merely swallowing it as opposed to it entering the body via other means would be a good day in the ER room.

    3. Harry Callahan Avatar
      Harry Callahan

      Next time your street floods, one of these guys will more than likely be there to help you.

      1. P161911 Avatar
        P161911

        I doubt it, they will have probably already hydrolocked their engine by the time I would need help.

      2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

        “…one of these guys will more than likely be there to help you mock your misfortune while driving past.”
        Fixed it for you.

        1. Harry Callahan Avatar
          Harry Callahan

          ..yet you mock me…and them.
          Arrogant superiority is off-putting indeed.

          1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

            For over a year, I was awoken every weekday morning at 5:30AM by my next-door neighbor revving his unmuffled turbo diesel brotruck in his driveway for at least 2-3 minutes before he left for work. My goodwill toward coal-rollers is long gone.

          2. Harry Callahan Avatar
            Harry Callahan

            That is as unfair as someone choosing to judge you by your last name.

          3. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

            Trucks don’t come with straight pipes from the factory, that’s a deliberately antagonistic, anti-social choice. Those guys are looking to offend people.

          4. Harry Callahan Avatar
            Harry Callahan

            With that logic, anybody who installs any aftermarket exhaust is antagonistic, anti-social, and looking to offend people.
            –Pretty sure that statement offends many, many readers here.

          5. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

            Yep. If the backwards baseball cap fits, they’re free to wear it.

          6. Harry Callahan Avatar
            Harry Callahan

            Pardon my harshness. I have not intended to be rude.

          7. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

            Just to be clear, my problem is with straight stacks, not lift kits.

          8. Harry Callahan Avatar
            Harry Callahan

            I think they are dumb too. That said, some might think the blue Shelby stripes I put on my old Mustang are dumb too. I try to accept that each car enthusiast has his/her own vision of perfection…and I am glad they have a passion for cars too.

          9. crank_case Avatar
            crank_case

            I do get where Harry is coming from in terms of not judging people, and it’s fine if you’re not doing any harm, but there’s probably little denying that this is the intended effect. I’m kinda reminded of Bosozoku culture in Japan with outlandish cars and bikes with unsilenced exhausts, which some folks seem to think is cool “because JDM”, but the entire point of it was to annoy people.

          10. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

            I once approached my neighbor about his early-morning ritual. His response? “Hey, it’s not my fault I’m the only one on this street who works for a living.” I didn’t bother speaking to him after that. Fortunately, I have no idea where he is today.

          11. P161911 Avatar
            P161911

            Wonder if you could fill a diesel stack with Great Stuff spray foam insulation?

          12. crank_case Avatar
            crank_case

            I used to be woken by a neighbors diesel Audi and his wifes C-Class mercedes which they always seemed to park under our apartment windows. People give out about motorcycles and high RPM petrols, but as long as you don’t fit a silly exhaust, it is possible to actually start one up and drive gently away compared to someone repeatedly dropping cutlery on a tea-tray clatter of a diesel.

  5. Jofes2 Avatar
    Jofes2

    Oh, looks like it’s time for me to offer yet another local specialty. I present to you, the EPA- or A-traktor.
    Almost exclusively seen in small, working-class towns and rural areas, these are cars that have been modified according to regulations to have their speed limited to 30 km/h. This means they technically count as tractors and that you’re allowed to drive them from the age of 15 without a license, which you have to been 18 to get. Most of them are also turned in to some sort of pick-up shape. Not sure if it’s just to save weight or because of some legal reason. They are then driven and styled in exactly the tasteful manner you’d expect from a 15 year old country boy.
    The vast majority of them are Volvo 740 or Duett based, but there are exceptions like those in the back of the picture.
    http://www.sveg.se/sites/sveg.se/files/bilder/artikelbilder/Skapa%20Nyhet/huvudbild/img_7815.jpg

    1. JayP Avatar
      JayP

      Ah! Knew of these…

    2. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

    1. 0A5599 Avatar
      0A5599

      Or anything wearing Ronal Pedobear rims.
      http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb82/roarf/random/sexy.jpg

  6. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    I can’t imagine anyone over the age of 40 (or mental age of 14) wanting to drive a stanced car.
    https://image.redbull.com/rbcom/010/2016-10-06/1331822262740_5/0012/0/0/0/3434/5151/1500/1/stanced-cars-volkswagen-lupo.jpg

    1. Kiefmo Avatar
      Kiefmo

      Wait… so that rear wheel has had an extended lip added onto it to make the tire stretch look that much more dramatic?
      I… hmm.

    2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      His girlfriend says, “I see nothing extreme or impractical about this car.”
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a9c7b1c68ec8caaa391cb34898fdd612b73e27e30406c4b71b15319ded6348a0.jpg

    3. JayP Avatar
      JayP

      As my 15yr old son would say, “That’s stupid”

  7. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

    A slammed 2WD show truck. Either perpetually unfinished, with badly applied primer and obvious bondo, or a jail truck with ’80s style misogynistic mural and a hydraulic bed lift.
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b8/b8/2b/b8b82bf7c845f6b4755a2f14d89ab5bd.jpg
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ec/fa/33/ecfa33ca6dd02c6f13a732fc8d90b7bf.jpg

  8. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

    Nothing says, “I have no critical thinking skills and allocate my resources poorly” like a slammed 2WD pickup. Either perpetually unfinished, with badly applied primer and obvious bondo, or a jail truck with ’80s-style splash graphics, a misogynistic slogan and a hydraulic bed lift.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c1634b93eb77bd6abcebb14c5f9e0c6080359b057736574e7cb7c8413de690d6.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/627f624512d146ca3eaa5363d7a702b2ce094cdfa0e1d2da652f379e1b2135c8.jpg

    1. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      Jail truck? That’s a new term for me.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

        It’s a Cammed-&-Tubbed-ism. As if the guy got sent away for 20 years and his ride was waiting for him when he got out, still pristine but now really, really, dated looking.
        “Jail Cars Unlimited” Facebook group

    2. Inliner Avatar
      Inliner

      That being said, a properly lowered pickup used for work purposes is very much a mature person’s car. They realize that they can’t lift stuff 2 – 3 feet off the ground to get it into the bed, so the lower the pickup just enough to make it easier and still drivable.

  9. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    http://i.onionstatic.com/avclub/5227/78/16×9/960.jpg
    I also see this person constantly rambling on about freedom, using an abstract concept to excuse whatever specific action with.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sYNO3ExWsZ4

    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      Ironically, the car was the most mature character on the program.

      1. Sjalabais Avatar
        Sjalabais

        With immature people, mature objects have to take the lead.
        https://frenchiesinaussie.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/james-franco-blink.gif

  10. SlowJoeCrow Avatar
    SlowJoeCrow

    Any expensive car entirely paid for by overindulgent parents since the combination of entitlement and lack of involvement will result in the maximum irresponsible behavior.

    1. David Buckley Avatar
      David Buckley

  11. Harry Callahan Avatar
    Harry Callahan

    Luke 6:37 : Judge not, and ye shall not be judged.

    1. David Buckley Avatar
      David Buckley

      Try telling that to the Jury …

  12. Harry Callahan Avatar
    Harry Callahan

    This is a problemetic question. How about we accept that each auto enthusiast has his/her own vision of vehicular perfection, and be glad others share our automotive passion? For ever modification someone likes, another will hate, and visa versa.

    1. crank_case Avatar
      crank_case

      I get the live and let live thing, but the flipside is the modern bubble mentality where anyone who doesn’t like something is a “hater”. It’s not like I wander up to people to tell them their car isn’t for me, or in some cases that mods are ill advised, but if someone puts something out there, like on a forum or other public medium you have to be thick skinned enough to deal with other peoples opinions. In some cases, mods go beyond mere aesthetic taste to actually being dangerous or anti-social, which is bad for the rest of the automotive community as we have to deal with the flack from others who see us as a single group.
      Not listening to experience is a youthful trait I guess, a lot of us look back at things we did in our younger years and laugh at our younger selves.

    2. Lokki Avatar
      Lokki

      Sorry but I’m not buying the moral equivalency argument. There are Venial Sins and Mortal Sins.
      Racing stripes are not the same as straight pipes.

      1. Harry Callahan Avatar
        Harry Callahan

        I’m not Catholic. At my Lutheran church, a sin is a sin.

        1. Sjalabais Avatar
          Sjalabais

          Can I cautiously and respectfully ask if you’re serious?

          1. Harry Callahan Avatar
            Harry Callahan

            Of course! The Roman Church ( Catholic ) tradition has a binary system of sin classification. Since such binary system is not biblical in origin, many Protestants, including my Lutheran denomination, does not think in terms of any sort of hierarchy of sins.

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      Yes, this. Ironically, more so than this kid, who has already demonstrated initiative and problem solving skills, and will probably grow into very capable young adult rather quickly.

      1. mdharrell Avatar

        Looks perfectly sensible to me.

    2. Hillman_Hunter Avatar
      Hillman_Hunter

      Dude, those stickers are worth +3HP on a 125cc bike!

    3. Rover 1 Avatar
      Rover 1

      Bonus points for riding in shorts and tee-shirt.

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