Hooniverse Asks- What's The Most Evil Looking Production Car?

All cars have a face, some of them cheery, some morose. And then there’s the ones that, when you see them parked at the curb, cause you to cross yourself – even though you’re not Catholic – and move to the other side of the street before you pass. Those are the ones we’re interested in today.

Yesterday we had a post about a GNX-powered Lotus, a car that while wearing a coat of black, looked as sinister and ominous as that guy who keeps coming around and asking you when you’re going to get the money. Much of the weight of the ominous character that Esprit carried was due to its paint, which was the shade of a shark’s soulless eyes.
Other cars express evil incarnate through the subtle turn of a grille, or a slant of a headlamp lens. Some require only the low plaintive rumble of their exhaust to instill terror into the hearts of all within earshot. Those cars are the best because they can even scare the blind. But why would you want a car, the mere visage of which could drive weak men crazy and wild women to do things their mothers warned would ensure a place in the hotter realms of the nether world? Well for one thing, the bragging rights. You get an evil car, and the next time you’re at TGI-Friday’s with your buds, and one of them starts bragging about how hot his girlfriend is, you can easily top that by telling them that your car is so evil looking it makes nuns pee themselves. It’s so evil your license plate is BNLADN. It’s so evil that Dick Cheney called to borrow it. That’s evil. And that’s some good bragging rights right there.
But the question remains, what car would that be? Which one would drive dog’s tails between their legs and cats to express a mildly lower level of disinterest? What do you think is the most evil-looking production car?
Image sources: [DavePearson via Flickr, Pistonheads.com]

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59 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What's The Most Evil Looking Production Car?”

  1. engineerd Avatar

    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3575/3831455479_9bfd057aac.jpg&quot; style="width: 500px; height: 375px; border: 0" alt="imgTag" />
    Belvedere's always had a ominous air about them.

    1. ZomBee Racer Avatar

      It must run in the family. Behold sister Polara.
      <img src="http://pics.hoobly.com/full/QLXUI3Q3GDAD3RTIZX.jpg&quot; width="500" />

    2. ZomBee Racer Avatar

      It must run in the family. Behold sister Polara.
      <img src="http://pics.hoobly.com/full/QLXUI3Q3GDAD3RTIZX.jpg&quot; width="500" />

      1. engineerd Avatar

        One's evil coming, the other's evil going.

  2. P161911 Avatar

    The correct answer is of course the Buick GNX. Most any car can be made to look evil, with the possible exception of a Sprite or Miata, but the GNX was one of the very few to come from the factory that way. No soft curves or shiny chrome here.
    <img src="http://www.loti.com/60s_muscle_cars/Buick-Muscle/1987_BUICK_REGAL_GNX.JPG"&gt;

  3. scroggzilla Avatar

    Saw one of these in flat black with the Devil at the wheel
    <img src="http://image.moparmusclemagazine.com/f/bugsydog/6892053+w450+h338+cr0+re1+ar1/1971-plymouth-barracuda-for-fish.jpg"&gt;

  4. Baron Von Danger Avatar
    Baron Von Danger
    1. Mr_Biggles Avatar

      Mean AND angry and you don't even have to pencil in angry eyebrows.

  5. tonyola Avatar

    1965 Lincoln Continental sedan in black.
    No other car (with the possible exception of the Mercedes 600) is so quietly sinister. People in this car want luxury but they don't want to attract too much attention. Having one of these following you around meant that you were in for some serious trouble. These cars meant:
    1. The Mafia;
    2. A big and malevolent corporation; or,
    3. A government agency that does not have to worry about funding or congressional oversight.
    <img src="http://i.pbase.com/o4/44/575544/1/65554931.HpRzCLa2.1965LincolnContinentalG.jpg"&gt;

  6. engineerd Avatar

    Ah, Mr. Belvedere. His charming Britishness could be a bit creepy at times.

  7. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    Going to have to go with this one again. 1958/59 Thunderbirds.
    Put a 70 year old man wearing a tan felt hat in it, staring with an endless yellow toothy smile, while cruising by kids walking home from school r.e.a.l. s.l.o.w.
    In 1978 to us this screamed evil in real life. (shudders)
    <img src="http://www.rssvtc.org/images/SteveGohrs59.jpg&quot; />

  8. tenbeers Avatar

    <img src="http://i32.tinypic.com/27zisl3.jpg"&gt;
    Evil in the "Deranged clown with a bunch of severed heads in the trunk" sense.

    1. engineerd Avatar

      According to Clarkson, you need to worry about severed heads in the trunk of a Camaro. That makes it evil, as well.

  9. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    I have to give my vote to the 1959 Buick.
    <img src="http://hogansclassiccars.com/cars/1959_Buick.jpg"&gt;

  10. Balestra Avatar

    Actually, it's the Lamborghini Murciélago LP640.
    Look, it's going to eat the poor 500!
    <img src=http://submiturpics.com/images/6durhx6e818qisgdm27.jpg>

  11. muthalovin Avatar

    I have always thought that TVR's looked rather menacing.
    <img src="http://focus-itservices.com/cars/images/tvr-cerbera-b.jpg"&gt;

  12. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    WTF?!? YIKES!!

  13. Alff Avatar

    Evil, yes, but the Phantom Corsair wasn't a production vehicle.

    1. Syrax Avatar

      It's so evil it transcends those parameters.

  14. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Is that the rotary Sprite from the Early Rodders? I love that car. Looks factory.

  15. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Yes, but the Sprite in the lead photo has the creepy clown thing down even better.

    1. dragon951 Avatar

      Agreed, that sprite is a yellow paint job away from this guy:
      <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icons/bad-blood/yolks-2/256/psychotic-icon.png"/&gt;

  16. jrod Avatar

    What about on Futurama.. the were-car!

    1. K5ING Avatar

      You mean this one?
      <img src="http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s141/K5ING/Misc/thecar.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  17. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    <img src="http://files.conceptcarz.com/img/Cadillac/67-Cadillac_Eldordo-Cpe-DV-07-MB_02.jpg&quot; width="640">
    "You know, the thing about a '60's Eldorado, it's got lifeless eyes — black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at ya, it doesn't seem to be living… until dusk, and those black eyes roll over white and then…"

  18. Slow Joe Crow Avatar
    Slow Joe Crow

    I always think of the Lancia Stratos as the meanest looking car, but I'm not sure if it qualifies as evil.

  19. SSurfer321 Avatar

    Sorry smalleyxb122. I didn't pay close enough attention to the posts to see that you already posted a 59 Buick.

  20. superbadd75 Avatar

    In one word: Reventon.
    damn image links – go see for yourself. http://0.tqn.com/d/cars/1/0/2/6/1/bw_08reventon_f

  21. name_too_long Avatar

    Lamborghini Diablo. In black. Named after a fighting bull (that won) who was named after the evil one himself. It makes a sound that sends chills down your spine and the maintenance costs make ownership a special sort of hell. Also, it is believed Satan himself uses one as a company car and is the only being to have managed any modicum of reliability.

  22. alcology Avatar

    They strike me as a buck-toothed beaver. And in red it looks like it went so fast the skin has been blown off it's face and your left looking at a bloody mess.

  23. joshuman Avatar

    What, no Plymouth Fury?
    <img src="http://content7.flixster.com/photo/10/38/52/10385289_gal.jpg"&gt;

  24. CptSevere Avatar

    Yeah, I agree the '65 Continental and '67 Eldo both look ominous, but for me the embodiment of evil is any Cadillac of about that same vintage, but slightly beat up. No wheel covers, some surface rust, sagging springs, loud mufflers. Driving slow, late at night down a poorly lit, empty, wet street. Maybe only one headlight working. Man, I'd run.

    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      or of course the Wraith…

  25. Black Steelies Avatar

    Every bad guy needs one of these, a 1987 Mercury Grand Marquis
    <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7b/83-87_Mercury_Grand_Marquis_2.jpg&quot; width="550">

  26. Buickboy92 Avatar

    This 1978 Cadillac Fleetwood, painted black with super dark tinted windows.
    <img src="http://i512.photobucket.com/albums/t326/buickboy92/1978CadillacFleetwood.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="1978 Cadillac Fleetwood">
    And this 1935 Voisin C25 Aerodyne.
    <img src="http://i512.photobucket.com/albums/t326/buickboy92/VoisinAerodyne1.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  27. Matt Avatar

    I raise you another kind of Continental… http://www.carpictures1.com/var/resizes/la-car-co

  28. Charles_Barrett Avatar

    …Preferably equipped with the "de Sade" designer edition options package…

  29. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Wow. +14 points on a post without any replies. Is that a new record? I guess I wasn't the only one who thought that was an out-of-the-park response.

    1. Alff Avatar

      I guess it is so evil no one dared to speak of it.

  30. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Interesting trivia: the plane featured in that movie was the prototype VariViggen, and was flown by Burt Rutan himself.

  31. TheDoobScoob Avatar

    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack – Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img832.imageshack.us/i/reliant20robin201e.jpg/'><img src='http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/1776/reliant20robin201e.jpg&#39; border='0'/>
    Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us

  32. sixtyover Avatar

    So its the Ginger of cars

  33. eddien Avatar

    Sorry for my total lack of any skils regarding uploads. Please any of the moderators delete my previous comment and maybe fix my code to show the pics, thanks!
    My proposal was the Veritas RS III, here are direct links to my pictures on imageshack

  34. Gargling Gas Avatar
    Gargling Gas

    Evil and stupid fast.
    Mitsubishi Evo VIII MRFQ 400
    <img src="http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t217/dick_dart/image.jpg&quot; border="0" alt=" photo image.jpg"/>