Hooniverse Asks – What's the Best Hoon's Station Wagon?


Whether it’s because we grew up with them, or that we just like the combination of utility and hoonability that the platform affords, but station wagons hold a special place in the hearts of many a hoon.
You may be jonesing for a big, old American sled that oozes down the road and gives you three-across seating and fancy multi-way tailgates. Or, it may be the nimble little bombers like the A4 and Legacy that circles your wagons. Either way, if one raises your tailgate more than all the others, which would that be?
It could be new, could be old, but it has to be a station wagon—no minivans or SUVs here, we’re talking low and lean. It could be a two-door, but I think most everybody appreciates having four, especially when driving home your drunken-and likely vomit-ready friends after a night out.
So, which wagon gets your tail a-waggin’? And is it one you already own, or aspire to one day?
Image sources: [classicfords, howstuffworks]

67 Comments

  1. The wife has a 2007 Legacy wagon, and I've had a '95 Legacy wagon, so I may or may not be biased…
    Would also give a nod to the Audi 5000 Quattro, the Nissan Stagea, if sushi's your thing, and the BMW M5 Touring….

  2. For hooning, I love my Legacy GT more with each passing day. For pure style, though, I'd go with a Buick Caballero or a '55 Pontiac Safari.

  3. We had a '66 Pontiac and '71 Pontiac Catalina wagons when I was a kid, and they were both great cars. Big boats.
    When I was in the Army in Georgia, one of my buddies got ahold of a '69 or '70 Cutlass Vista Cruiser (reflective glass windows in the roof, remember?) that had a 455. I was pretty impressed with that. Jealous, actually.

  4. Nomad. 55 -57 vintage. One for drag racin', one for cruisin' , and one for surfin'. California never sounded as good….. where did I put my crew wax?

  5. The 15 year old version of myself lusted after the good old Subaru GL wagon, a heretical act considering the GM-centric household in which I grew up. Others have come and gone, but I still hold a special place in my heart for that wagon, an early sign that my automotive tastes were, um, different from those of my peers.

  6. For wagony awesome in the modern age (post 1990), one must look to Europe to see what a true wagon should be. Whether your tastes be Scandinavian (Volvo 850 Turbo Wagon), Teutonic (BMW M5 Touring, M-B E63 AMG Sportwagon, or Audi RS6 Avant), or British (MG ZT-T), the European continent loves them some wagon, and they love their wagons fast.

    1. I spotted an Ur-S6 Avant last week. Every day for the next four days I spotted a different Ur-S4 or S6 sedan. I nearly bought one four years ago and now I kinda wish I had. The RS2 is even more rare globally and I don't think they were ever imported to the states. Oh how I want one.

  7. I agree with the Nissan Stagea if we are talking Japanese. If we are talking American then I would go for the Ford LTD Country Squire.
    Don’t look at me like that.

  8. My first car was a '63 Bel Air wagon with a 283 and a Powerglide. We got an amazing amount of hoonage done in that car and it just ran and ran. It could haul an amazing number of drunken hoons too. A great car.

    1. You could order an LT1 Caprice wagon with all the police package goodies. NYPD had a fleet of 'em. I remember a few years back when NYPD divested themselves of them and they were popping up on eBay and other places online. Haven't seen one for sale lately but there have gotta be some of them out there somewhere.

  9. For an oldie, I'm a fan of the Chevelle 2 door wagons. They're not exactly a common sight and you can stuff anything under the hood.
    The Roadmaster wagon of the mid '90s deserves a mention as well, with its Corvette-ish engine and rear-facing 3rd row seats.
    Of the new wagons, none of the ones I really would want are sold here. AMG wagons, RS6 Avant, M5 wagon, you can't get them here because stupid ass Americans won't buy them. I'd have to say of what's available out there, the STI hatch is a pretty badass hoonwagon. I know they call it a hatch, but it's a wagon for all intents and purposes.

      1. i would totally buy that if i had the cash… or credit.. just to find out what 'activated front seats' are… and because it has both 'auto-on' and 'auto-off' headlights… nothing i want more than a car that can blink it's own lights at people who forgot to turn their headlights on… or something…
        thanks for sharing that… great ad.. made me laugh! i don't know that i have ever seen someone list every individual feature for both passenger and driver sides… hmm… now that i think about it.. i'm worried about those head lights… what if only the driver's side is auto-on.. and the passenger side is auto-off… seller didn't specify…

      2. I did not know that. I thought they had given up on us over here. That is just some sweet wagony goodness right there, 507hp/465lb.ft. would suit me just beautifully. At $60k, it's kind of a bargain. You get a family/dog hauler and a sport sedan in one car. Me likey.

    1. I'm bummed at how much hatch-ier the 08+ ones are.
      My '06 WRXagon is a great all-around vehicle, but the new ones don't offer as much space. Alas, I'll just have to reach out to the aftermarket to get up over 265hp.

  10. My parents had many wagons when I was young. This may explain my current A4 Avant and recent V70. I spent many Sunday afternoons, post-ski lessons, washing the dirty wheels of a succession of Subaru wagons. The first new car I remember them buying was a Subaru GL in yellow. While I couldn't find a picture of the exact car, this is pretty close.
    <img src="http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/4/275/1421/38185710001_large.jpg&quot; style="width: 400px; border: 0" alt="imgTag" />

  11. You ever had a dog that went completely ape-shit in the snow? This Wagon is like that dog. I drive a big ten-wheel dump truck/snowplow for the City in the winter here, and it's super-fun, because you're considered an "Emergency Response Vehicle" and are like a fire-engine or ambulance as far as traffic laws are concerned. Stop signs become Yield signs, red lights become stop signs (when it's clear, you go), you can drive on the left or right side of the road, depending on what you need to do, and you have God's own bumper on the front. After driving twelve hours like this, it's hard to remember when you get in your personal car and are racing all the other drivers to the Bar for a nightcap that you are no longer exempt, especially when the Wagon is pulling at the leash like this one does.
    <img src="http://i422.photobucket.com/albums/pp308/rexjenney/P1210968.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

    1. See, my grandpa (the awesomest man in New England) Robert Raymond Butler Senior, plowed Pennsylvania roads with horses. Fucking Horses! I watched him as a tot, reign 4 horses to a plow (yes I cried when snow splashed on me) and go clear the roads. F'ing Iron men have nothing on him. He made it possible for life to exist in rural New England. The third has a lot to live up to…

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