Hooniverse Asks – What's the Best Hoon's Station Wagon?


Whether it’s because we grew up with them, or that we just like the combination of utility and hoonability that the platform affords, but station wagons hold a special place in the hearts of many a hoon.
You may be jonesing for a big, old American sled that oozes down the road and gives you three-across seating and fancy multi-way tailgates. Or, it may be the nimble little bombers like the A4 and Legacy that circles your wagons. Either way, if one raises your tailgate more than all the others, which would that be?
It could be new, could be old, but it has to be a station wagon—no minivans or SUVs here, we’re talking low and lean. It could be a two-door, but I think most everybody appreciates having four, especially when driving home your drunken-and likely vomit-ready friends after a night out.
So, which wagon gets your tail a-waggin’? And is it one you already own, or aspire to one day?
Image sources: [classicfords, howstuffworks]

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67 responses to “Hooniverse Asks – What's the Best Hoon's Station Wagon?”

  1. Festiva_Movemnt Avatar

    The wife has a 2007 Legacy wagon, and I've had a '95 Legacy wagon, so I may or may not be biased…
    Would also give a nod to the Audi 5000 Quattro, the Nissan Stagea, if sushi's your thing, and the BMW M5 Touring….

    1. Festiva_Movemnt Avatar

      ARGH! Where's my head today?! AMC EAGLE!!!! FTW!!!!

  2. Alff Avatar

    For hooning, I love my Legacy GT more with each passing day. For pure style, though, I'd go with a Buick Caballero or a '55 Pontiac Safari.

  3. dwegmull Avatar
    dwegmull

    I'm quite happy with my Volvo V70R. Thank you for asking.

    1. Target29 Avatar

      <img src="http://www.stationwagon.com/gallery/pictures/1972_Hurst_Olds_Vista_Cruiser.jpg&quot; style="width: 448px; height: 231px; border: 0" alt="imgTag" />

  4. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Exhibit A:
    <img src="http://www.collectormotors.com/66tonka/b01.jpg&quot; width="400">
    When it comes to newer stuff, the E63 wagon is the closest you can get to a modern muscle-wagon until the CTS-V Wagon comes out. Oh God, what a showdown that will be.

    1. Tripl3fast Avatar

      I see what they did with the front bumpers. Straight line racing a GT 350 is not what I expected to see but I do love it nonetheless…

    2. engineerd Avatar

      That picture has more win per millimeter than everything on the planet…except Chuck Norris.

    3. Han_Solex Avatar

      Why not just cut out the middleman? http://blog.hemmings.com/index.php/2008/10/06/los

      1. Goingincirclez Avatar

        Is it wrong that I'd rather have either of those two before any other '65 Mustang body?

        1. ptschett Avatar

          I do have to wonder how it corners, after seeing this prototype '64-'65 GT coupe in a Google Image search…
          <img src="http://www.stangbangers.com/64_MustangGT-Prototype_Pic.jpg"/&gt;

    4. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      Funny, it makes certain parts of me less squooshy.

      1. Goingincirclez Avatar

        If that picture makes it last more than 4 hours, this is a sign of a serious case of the hoons.

  5. CptSevere Avatar

    We had a '66 Pontiac and '71 Pontiac Catalina wagons when I was a kid, and they were both great cars. Big boats.
    When I was in the Army in Georgia, one of my buddies got ahold of a '69 or '70 Cutlass Vista Cruiser (reflective glass windows in the roof, remember?) that had a 455. I was pretty impressed with that. Jealous, actually.

    1. Han_Solex Avatar

      Exactly. A hoon after my own heart.

  6. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    '64 Chevelle, 283 + PG. AC, very clean. Current bid = $1000 (reserve not met)
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?V

    1. jjd241 Avatar
      jjd241

      Hey, at least the dome light works!

    2. dragon951 Avatar

      Red interior too…
      currently at 3k (reserve not met), which may be a bit much.

  7. scroggzilla Avatar

    Wow.
    That's some highly concentrated awesome, right there.

  8. scroggzilla Avatar

    For hooning and what not, it's tough to top a WRX wagon or S4 Avant.
    But for more sedate actvities, I'd like a Mercedes 230 Universal.
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3286/3159926348_ca34f6a0dd_o.jpg"&gt;

  9. JeepyJayhawk Avatar
  10. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    No Turbo Brick mentions?

  11. Tripl3fast Avatar

    Nomad. 55 -57 vintage. One for drag racin', one for cruisin' , and one for surfin'. California never sounded as good….. where did I put my crew wax?

  12. BGW Avatar

    The 15 year old version of myself lusted after the good old Subaru GL wagon, a heretical act considering the GM-centric household in which I grew up. Others have come and gone, but I still hold a special place in my heart for that wagon, an early sign that my automotive tastes were, um, different from those of my peers.

  13. theTokenGreek Avatar
    theTokenGreek

    my Mazdaspeed3! Or is that too modern?

  14. engineerd Avatar

    For wagony awesome in the modern age (post 1990), one must look to Europe to see what a true wagon should be. Whether your tastes be Scandinavian (Volvo 850 Turbo Wagon), Teutonic (BMW M5 Touring, M-B E63 AMG Sportwagon, or Audi RS6 Avant), or British (MG ZT-T), the European continent loves them some wagon, and they love their wagons fast.

  15. Deartháir Avatar
    Deartháir

    I might be biased, but I do have to give the nod to the Audi RS2
    <img src="https://hooniverse.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/RS2-Rear.jpg&quot; width="300">

    1. engineerd Avatar

      They put the same blue on the RS6 Avant. It's my favorite shade of blue. Those two are also two cars I lust after. No connection, I'm sure.

    2. joshuman Avatar

      I spotted an Ur-S6 Avant last week. Every day for the next four days I spotted a different Ur-S4 or S6 sedan. I nearly bought one four years ago and now I kinda wish I had. The RS2 is even more rare globally and I don't think they were ever imported to the states. Oh how I want one.

  16. BTLFED Avatar
    BTLFED

    I agree with the Nissan Stagea if we are talking Japanese. If we are talking American then I would go for the Ford LTD Country Squire.
    Don’t look at me like that.

  17. dfran02 Avatar

    also biased:
    <img src="http://i740.photobucket.com/albums/xx50/dfran02/wrx.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  18. Goingincirclez Avatar

    If the Santa Fe Speedway Tournament of Destruction taught me anything, it was that Ford Country Squires were indestructible, and to be feared (before banning)
    <img src="http://goingincirclez.com/Kaleid/Albums/BON/Potlatch_07-23-00A.JPG"&gt;
    Indeed, this is such a rare and valuable lesson, I made and preserved my own in miniature!
    <img src="http://goingincirclez.com/Kaleid2G/Models/Auto/DemoDerbyCustoms.jpg"&gt;

  19. dmilligan Avatar

    My first car was a '63 Bel Air wagon with a 283 and a Powerglide. We got an amazing amount of hoonage done in that car and it just ran and ran. It could haul an amazing number of drunken hoons too. A great car.

  20. Tomsk Avatar

    <img src="http://www.whitelaceinn.com/benz/DSC_2079.jpg&quot; width="650" height="411" />
    Aww yeah…
    I also dig the '68-'72 Vista Cruiser, '65 Chevy, and the C3-generation Audi Avant (Quattro Turbo, please.).

    1. straight6 Avatar
      straight6

      Black and white smoke makes it a hybrid.[youtube czV3fwZ73gc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czV3fwZ73gc youtube]

    1. tenbeers Avatar

      Seconded. Just needs a little more sidewall.

    2. Mad_Hungarian Avatar

      You could order an LT1 Caprice wagon with all the police package goodies. NYPD had a fleet of 'em. I remember a few years back when NYPD divested themselves of them and they were popping up on eBay and other places online. Haven't seen one for sale lately but there have gotta be some of them out there somewhere.

  21. WillB13 Avatar
    WillB13

    If I could find one; an Audi RS2.

  22. superbadd75 Avatar
    superbadd75

    For an oldie, I'm a fan of the Chevelle 2 door wagons. They're not exactly a common sight and you can stuff anything under the hood.
    The Roadmaster wagon of the mid '90s deserves a mention as well, with its Corvette-ish engine and rear-facing 3rd row seats.
    Of the new wagons, none of the ones I really would want are sold here. AMG wagons, RS6 Avant, M5 wagon, you can't get them here because stupid ass Americans won't buy them. I'd have to say of what's available out there, the STI hatch is a pretty badass hoonwagon. I know they call it a hatch, but it's a wagon for all intents and purposes.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      You can get an e63 in the US.
      http://bit.ly/dlBroP
      $60k

      1. chrystlubitshi Avatar
        chrystlubitshi

        i would totally buy that if i had the cash… or credit.. just to find out what 'activated front seats' are… and because it has both 'auto-on' and 'auto-off' headlights… nothing i want more than a car that can blink it's own lights at people who forgot to turn their headlights on… or something…
        thanks for sharing that… great ad.. made me laugh! i don't know that i have ever seen someone list every individual feature for both passenger and driver sides… hmm… now that i think about it.. i'm worried about those head lights… what if only the driver's side is auto-on.. and the passenger side is auto-off… seller didn't specify…

      2. superbadd75 Avatar

        I did not know that. I thought they had given up on us over here. That is just some sweet wagony goodness right there, 507hp/465lb.ft. would suit me just beautifully. At $60k, it's kind of a bargain. You get a family/dog hauler and a sport sedan in one car. Me likey.

  23. Maymar Avatar

    I'd heavily dig on the theoretically possible Dodge Magnum with the stick-shift torn out of a Challenger.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      The Missus vetoed the purchase of a Magnum b/c you can't get it with 3 pedals.

  24. tenbeers Avatar

    <img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2584/4183397694_b5cbe6953d.jpg"&gt;
    Yeah yeah, I know it's more "hatch" than "wagon". But it says "Wagon" on the registration, so fuck it.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      I'm bummed at how much hatch-ier the 08+ ones are.
      My '06 WRXagon is a great all-around vehicle, but the new ones don't offer as much space. Alas, I'll just have to reach out to the aftermarket to get up over 265hp.

    2. Texan_Idiot25 Avatar
      Texan_Idiot25

      Pickup trucks are also known as El Caminos in TX, doesn't mean it's as awesome!

  25. joshuman Avatar

    My parents had many wagons when I was young. This may explain my current A4 Avant and recent V70. I spent many Sunday afternoons, post-ski lessons, washing the dirty wheels of a succession of Subaru wagons. The first new car I remember them buying was a Subaru GL in yellow. While I couldn't find a picture of the exact car, this is pretty close.
    <img src="http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/4/275/1421/38185710001_large.jpg&quot; style="width: 400px; border: 0" alt="imgTag" />

  26. thomasmac Avatar

    1969 Chevrolet Kingswood Estate with a 427 / M-22 combo would be dandy!
    [img]http://memimage.cardomain.com/member_images/4/web

  27. xomputer Avatar

    BMW E34 wagon with a S52 swap!

  28. coupeZ600 Avatar

    You ever had a dog that went completely ape-shit in the snow? This Wagon is like that dog. I drive a big ten-wheel dump truck/snowplow for the City in the winter here, and it's super-fun, because you're considered an "Emergency Response Vehicle" and are like a fire-engine or ambulance as far as traffic laws are concerned. Stop signs become Yield signs, red lights become stop signs (when it's clear, you go), you can drive on the left or right side of the road, depending on what you need to do, and you have God's own bumper on the front. After driving twelve hours like this, it's hard to remember when you get in your personal car and are racing all the other drivers to the Bar for a nightcap that you are no longer exempt, especially when the Wagon is pulling at the leash like this one does.
    <img src="http://i422.photobucket.com/albums/pp308/rexjenney/P1210968.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

    1. dragon951 Avatar

      See, my grandpa (the awesomest man in New England) Robert Raymond Butler Senior, plowed Pennsylvania roads with horses. Fucking Horses! I watched him as a tot, reign 4 horses to a plow (yes I cried when snow splashed on me) and go clear the roads. F'ing Iron men have nothing on him. He made it possible for life to exist in rural New England. The third has a lot to live up to…

  29. iheartstiggie Avatar

    Here's my baby. I too am biased, and like Tenbeers, it may be a hatch but the reg says WAGON so I'm goin for it.
    <img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tMlZuIj8MLM/S2L1u7-vSGI/AAAAAAAAAN4/p7fQ0Inmixc/s1600-h/speed3.jpg"&gt;

  30. Sam Avatar
  31. jjd241 Avatar
    jjd241

    Family Truckster All the way… http://daisyfae.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/grisw

  32. berlinde Avatar
    berlinde

    Merc AMG Hammer Wagon, no doubt

  33. Watch Chuck Online Avatar

    I your website – excellent job!

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