Hooniverse Asks- What's the Best Car-Derived Porn Name?


Buck Nekkid, Dewy Hyman, Jay Leno– porn stars always have stage names that are in some way salacious. But what if they were limited to using only car names to create their sexy sobriquets? If using only the appellations applied to autos, what would be some good porn star names?
Maybe something along the lines of Avalon Probe or Tundra Explorer would work? Keep in mind that the name has to connote the actor’s forte, so cars like the Nano should be avoided, but its maker- Tata – would be a good choice.
Okay, I know this is a tough one, but I have confidence in you guys to come up with some good choice. What’s the best car-based porn star names?
Image sources: [Electronic Music, Sensual Female]

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71 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What's the Best Car-Derived Porn Name?”

  1. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Ram Festiva

  2. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Bonnie Villewoody

  3. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Minnie Fastback

  4. Goingincirclez Avatar

    Testarossa Cougar
    Brougham Ranger
    Star Chief Swinger
    Tata Matador

  5. Alff Avatar

    Max Torque and Victory Lane…
    "Throbbing with the excitement of conquest, Max Torque slid into Victory Lane, paying no heed to the hundreds of nearby spectators."

  6. bzr Avatar

    Dodge Magnum. Which sort of makes sense, if you think about it.

  7. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Dictator LeFemme

  8. Alff Avatar

    Max Mosley's stage name?

  9. joshuman Avatar

    V-twins (a double act)
    Romeo MiTo
    Piston Honda (from Mike Tyson's Punch Out always made me laugh)
    Forced Induction (starring in a transgendered role)
    Max Mosley

  10. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Okay, just a few more and then I have to go back to work…
    – Tata Vue
    – Hummer Superba
    – Achieva Rendezvous
    – Luv Urge
    – Chief Diablo
    – Peugette St. Regis (not that it's suggestive, it just sounds like the sort of fancy name porn stars make up)
    for "alternative lifestyle" stars:
    – Cowboy Ranger
    – Bronco Clubman
    – Montana Fireball
    – Trans Sport (yea, that one really doesn't need anything else, now does it?)
    and even though it really doesn't work as a name…
    Thing Storm

  11. Alff Avatar

    "Checker Rolls" for a BBW actress.
    "Saggy Springs" if you're into the mature stuff
    "Connie Kit" if you like a gal with a bit of junk in the trunk
    Got a midget fetish? Check out Tiny Miata's performance in the classic film "Blown Trannies".

  12. Dude_Lebowski Avatar

    Stroker Ace

  13. Rockford_Brodie Avatar

    Nitro LaCrosse
    Woodruff Powerbulge
    "Iron" Duke Torqthrust
    Cam Shaft
    Max Payload

  14. PFG Avatar
    PFG

    Shelby Superleggera

  15. TurboBrick Avatar

    Apollo Pushrod
    Stag Rekord
    Aurora Sky
    Electra Phoenix
    And of course the latest latina starlet, Nova Cimarron!

  16. Sparky_Pete Avatar

    Pinto…
    Tap her in the rear…

  17. Alff Avatar

    She has such a hot ass.

  18. Juliet C. Avatar
    Juliet C.

    Malibu Brat
    Lada Wildcat
    Fairlady Swinger
    Rapide Prelude
    Opel Allroad
    S.I. Lycoming ("as I lie coming" …yes, it's a stretch, but there was a Lycoming Special race car)
    And Mighty Max Torpedo once did a scene with Mini Canyon.

    1. engineerd Avatar

      I like Fairlady Swinger. She doesn't like being tied to one man.

  19. BGW Avatar

    Humpy Wheeler

    1. scroggzilla Avatar

      Dick Trickle approves of this selection.

      1. engineerd Avatar

        As does The Intimidator.

  20. engineerd Avatar

    Fulvia LeBaron
    Miura Omologato
    Fiesta Viggen
    And, for Charles, Twingo Ford.

    1. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

      Nice ones!

    2. Tanshanomi Avatar

      "Fulvia" makes me laugh all by itself.

  21. Fat Tire Avatar
    Fat Tire

    Claudia Ferrari. The End. What do I win?

  22. engineerd Avatar

    Holden Tata
    Lada Diablo
    Countach Cummins
    These are for the more…er…revealing videos.

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      You're good at this…

    2. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      You're good at this…

  23. Target29 Avatar

    Mustang Terlingua – Hung like horse and f#$%** like a rabbit…
    <img src="http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2007/11/terlingua_team.jpg&quot; style="width: 478px; height: 302px; border: 0" alt="imgTag" />

  24. Dude_Lebowski Avatar

    Lada Mystique

    1. engineerd Avatar

      It is addicting, isn't it? I've forced myself to stop writing them, but I am reviewing specs today — which is mentally numbing — so my mind keeps thinking of them.
      Like Domino Sable or Octavia Breeze.

  25. engineerd Avatar

    Fabia Shadow, Giulia Fuego and Derby Fox had quite the scene in "Turbo Trooper Hummer III".

  26. UDman Avatar

    Oh my god….. make it stop, I can see every one of these performers in my head…. Oh God, I'm not going to get any work done….. Now excuse me, I have to run to the rest room for some…. none of your business….

  27. dmdukejr Avatar
    dmdukejr

    [youtube cZ1oA-QBflI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ1oA-QBflI youtube]

    1. Sparky_Pete Avatar

      I was strangely mesmerized by it.

  28. dmdukejr Avatar
    dmdukejr

    Crap! Wrong article!

  29. soo΄pәr-bādd75 Avatar

    RAM SLT
    SRX CTS

  30. muthalovin Avatar

    GAZ Camshaft
    I like mixing names and parts. Its just dirty.

  31. TurboBrick Avatar

    There was a guy on set named "Rapid Commer" but he didn't last a long time.
    Lancia Brougham
    Celeste Crosley
    Cosmo Crankshaft
    Silvia Skyline

    1. Syrax Avatar

      Silvia Skyline, I can see her already.

  32. scroggzilla Avatar

    Well, I have to nominate my own porn star name (pet's name + street you grew up on)……Hot Rod Lincoln.

    1. Ambersand Avatar

      I absolutely crash and burn on that one. Mine would be Little Bit Nagawicka. I'm not sure what to think if that one.

    2. Ambersand Avatar

      I absolutely crash and burn on that one. Mine would be Little Bit Nagawicka. I'm not sure what to think if that one.

    3. Ambersand Avatar

      I absolutely crash and burn on that one. Mine would be Little Bit Nagawicka. I'm not sure what to think if that one.

  33. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Rocky Rampage

  34. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Dictator LeFemme

  35. Alff Avatar

    Max Mosley's stage name?

  36. joshuman Avatar

    V-twins (a double act)
    Romeo MiTo
    Piston Honda (from Mike Tyson's Punch Out always made me laugh)
    Forced Induction (starring in a transgendered role)
    Max Mosley

  37. joshuman Avatar

    V-twins (a double act)
    Romeo MiTo
    Piston Honda (from Mike Tyson's Punch Out always made me laugh)
    Forced Induction (starring in a transgendered role)
    Max Mosley

  38. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    Cherokee Fastback
    Wrangler Renegade
    Blackwood Porsche
    Nash Sprite

  39. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Okay, just a few more and then I have to go back to work…
    – Tata Vue
    – Hummer Superba
    – Achieva Rendezvous
    – Luv Urge
    – Chief Diablo
    – Peugette St. Regis (not that it's suggestive, it just sounds like the sort of fancy name porn stars make up)
    for "alternative lifestyle" stars:
    – Cowboy Ranger
    – Bronco Clubman
    – Montana Fireball
    – Trans Sport (yea, that one really doesn't need anything else, now does it?)
    and even though it really doesn't work as a name…
    Thing Storm

  40. muthalovin Avatar

    Shelby Cummins

  41. Deartháir Avatar
    Deartháir

    I'd have to go for Tigra Innocenti. Sounds exotic, but at the same time you suspect she could probably… uh…

  42. Deartháir Avatar
    Deartháir

    I'd have to go for Tigra Innocenti. Sounds exotic, but at the same time you suspect she could probably… uh…

    1. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

      heh…you mean stick-shift tranny?

  43. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

    Nitro Rampage
    Sierra La Femme
    Cedric Durango

  44. TurboBrick Avatar

    Mack Powerstroke starring with the east european beauty, Kamaz Tatra. Also starring Corsa DeTomaso, Cummins Spider, and a special appearance by Admiral Golden Hawk.

  45. Tomsk Avatar

    -Eos Fiero
    -Dacia Daytona
    -Altima Veyron
    -Camry Cruze
    -Dakota Sandero
    -Previa Seville
    -Rio LaCrosse
    -Viggen Carrera

  46. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Synopsis:
    Scene 1: A BEL AIR COUGAR and her HARDBODY SIDEKICK hook up with an EXECUTIVE SWINGER and a SUBURBAN BARRACUDA (Starring STELLINA SUNBIRD &
    CITY SKYLINE, with ACE TALON & CHARGER ROCKET)
    Scene 2: An OUTBACK ADVENTURER takes on a MALIBU RAMBLER and a TURNPIKE CRUISER (CARRERA FREELANDER, COLT STAG, JIMMY ARROW)
    Scene 3: In this superhero parody, the "NAKED AVENGER" (MACK LeSABRE) faces off against SAMURAI SUPERBIRD (MAKO SAPPORO)
    Scene 4: A PARISIENNE GRADUATE (MARLENE MIRA) is seduced by a CELEBRITY WILDCAT (ARIEL SOMERSET)
    Scene 5: A VIBE PROBE scene with ELECTRA EXPLORER
    Scene 6: A GOLF CADDY (CHERRY SILHOUETTE) gets trained by a CHAMPION SPORTSMAN (APOLLO VENTURA)
    Scene 7: An AMERICAN AMBASSADOR (JAVELIN STINGER) negotiates with a SENIOR DIPLOMAT (AMI VIXEN)
    Directed by CAROL CALAIS
    Produced by EUROSPORT Films
    (Yes, every word in all caps is a car make or model…)

    1. engineerd Avatar

      I wish I could click the thumb thingy about 500 more times. You win!

    2. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      I think you've won this round, Tanshanomi.

    3. Tanshanomi Avatar

      And, just for the record:
      Chevy BEL AIR
      Mercury COUGAR
      Nissan HARDBODY
      Suzuki SIDEKICK
      Chrysler/Packard/Pontiac EXECUTIVE
      Dodge Dart SWINGER
      Chevy SUBURBAN
      Plymouth BARRACUDA
      Autobianchi STELLINA
      Pontiac SUNBIRD
      Honda CITY
      Nissan SKYLINE
      AC ACE
      Eagle TALON
      Dodge CHARGER
      Brabus ROCKET/Oldsmobile ROCKET 88
      Subaru OUTBACK
      De Soto ADVENTURER
      Chevy MALIBU
      IKA/Nash RAMBLER
      Mercury TURNPIKE CRUISER
      Porsche CARRERA
      Land Rover FREELANDER
      Dodge COLT
      Triumph STAG
      GMC JIMMY
      Plymouth ARROW
      Daihatsu NAKED
      Dodge AVENGER
      MACK trucks
      Buick LeSABRE
      Suzuki SAMURAI
      Plymouth SUPERBIRD
      Corvette MAKO Shark (concept car)
      Plymouth SAPPORO
      Pontiac PARISIENNE
      Alfa Romeo Spyder GRADUATE
      MARLENE ('36 Mecedes replicar)
      Daihatsu MIRA
      Chevy CELEBRITY
      Buick WILDCAT
      ARIEL Atom
      Buick Regal SOMERSET
      Pontiac VIBE
      Ford PROBE
      Buick ELECTRA
      Ford EXPLORER
      Volkswagen GOLF
      Volkswagen CADDY
      Datusn CHERRY
      Oldsmobile SILHOUETTE
      Mahindra/Studebaker CHAMPION
      De Soto/Dodge SPORTSMAN
      Buick APOLLO
      Pontiac VENTURA
      Rambler AMERICAN
      AMC AMBASSADOR
      AMC JAVELIN
      Pontiac STINGER (concept car)
      Dodge SENIOR
      Dodge DIPLOMAT
      Citroën AMI 6/8
      TVR VIXEN
      Mazda CAROL
      Cadillac CALAIS
      Chevy Celebrity EUROSPORT

    4. CptSevere Avatar

      Epic win, Tanshanomi. I'm not even gonna try after this. It would just look stupid.

    5. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      I think you've won this round, Tanshanomi.

    6. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      Yep. Not even gonna try. Too busy being amazed.
      And pleased that I knew basically all of those, I suppose.

  47. Kujo II Avatar
    Kujo II

    Magnum torpedo

  48. marque911 Avatar
    marque911

    I respectfully submit, from Australia, ‘Holden Outback Probe.’ C’mon, be gentle. It’s my first submission.

  49. Meghan Platner Avatar

    View Free Films Instantly!!!! Just Opt for and perform!

  50. Henrietta Tupacyupanqui Avatar

    been a typo, Your web site looks beneficial. Possess a wonderful day.

  51. huesos350 Avatar
    huesos350

    tata explorer
    tundra cherokee

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