Hooniverse Asks- What Kind of Car is your Girl (or Guy)?

Robert Emslie

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Yesterday we asked you whether you anthropomorphized your ride, and if so, what was its personality. Today we’re pulling a 180 and want you to objectify that certain someone in your life – and to tell us what kind of car they’d be.


While our significant others may object to the comparison, especially should the vehicle that most readily come to mind be a Mack truck or Ford Probe, we’ll just tell them it’s for scientific research and that actual names won’t be used.
Hence without naming names, or having to spend the next week sleeping on your best friend’s couch, let’s get started. It’s hard to assign a mechanical parallel if you are unfamiliar with someone, but should you spend as much time with them as you likely would with a spouse or BF/GF then you start to see character traits which can be translated into the expressions of personality and quirks of their automotive equivalents.
So, if your girl (or guy) were a car, which one would they be?
Image sources: [hearseclub.com, Classictruck.com]

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Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

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57 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What Kind of Car is your Girl (or Guy)?”

  1. Texan_Idiot25 Avatar
    Texan_Idiot25

    Mini Cooper S, fun, maneuverable, cute, but still can bring it to the parents' house for dinner.

    Reply
  2. scroggzilla Avatar
    scroggzilla

    Hmmmn, I don't have a real significant other anymore. I only have an imaginary one……which means………she's a Tesla Roadster?

    Reply
    1. lilwillie Avatar
      lilwillie

      applause.

      Reply
    2. Møbius Avatar
      Møbius

      Ha! Good one!

      Reply
    3. muthalovin Avatar
      muthalovin

      awwww snap!

      Reply
  3. ladle666 Avatar
    ladle666

    i have to say it…. my woman is a pontiac chick.
    sporty, strong, reliable…. all in all….. wider *is* better

    Reply
  4. mix3d3m0ti0n5 Avatar
    mix3d3m0ti0n5

    Anything eclectic, under appreciated, that only the owner really understands its full potential.

    Reply
  5. lilwillie Avatar
    lilwillie

    Vista Cruiser. Hauled the kids, puts up with my shit and is still fun to show off in public even if she isn't a exotic.

    Reply
  6. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    My wife is a Jaaaaag. Refined, powerful, quirky when she wants to be, loads of fun and turns heads fairly often. Methinks 2010 XJR

    Reply
  7. JeepyJayhawk Avatar
    JeepyJayhawk

    She's a Blown 427 Cobra. Fantastic looks, unearthly moves, and she can lay you out flat before you know you did something wrong.

    Reply
  8. KillerZomBee Avatar
    KillerZomBee

    An original Mini, and not just because she's 4'10".
    Cute, funny, happy, VERY surprising, fun but practical and unassuming. Can be made to go fast with just the right moves. Loves the twisty roads. She's a keeper.

    Reply
  9. skay¢og Avatar
    skay¢og

    There is no certain someone in my life now, but my ex was an A.H. (and I don't mean Austin Healey).

    Reply
    1. Møbius Avatar
      Møbius

      Here's hoping your next one is a Ford GT.

      Reply
  10. PFG Avatar
    PFG

    Mrs. PFG is deeply family-oriented. She has an eye for craftsmanship, with an affinity for things made in small batches. She sometimes has some problems with motivation, and is prone to periods of darkness, but if you give her enough time and care, there's very little she can't do.
    Mrs. PFG is a Volkswagen Eurovan.

    Reply
  11. Tanshanomi Avatar
    Tanshanomi

    <img src="http://autoanything.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/2009-cadillac-one-president-obamas-limo.jpg"&gt;
    My wife has to be Cadillac One: Tall, impressive, pretty looks and refinement hiding some seriously heavy-duty gutsiness, incredibly protective of the people she's responsible for, and massively capable of handling anything she might come across.

    Reply
    1. edubs Avatar
      edubs

      anddd a black guy gets in her about once a week

      Reply
      1. Juliet C. Avatar
        Juliet C.

        OK, THAT was needlessly offensive.
        I thought the o.p's comment was rather touching.

        Reply
  12. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar
    BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

    A Focus RS, hot pocket rocket and has sometimes a little too much personallaty.

    Reply
  13. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    My wife's an Aston Martin Rapide. Gorgeous, sensible, and outrageously expensive.

    Reply
  14. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    This is so gonna leave me sleeping the in the garage, but…
    A Wagoneer.
    She's a great all-arounder with a predilection towards the old-school. She's rather skip most modern niceties, but if need be, she can adapt to them. Maybe not the best at any given activity, more of a Jill of all trades. Never afraid to get dirty, but when the occasion arises she sure cleans up nice.

    Reply
  15. SSurfer321 Avatar
    SSurfer321

    Inexpensive to maintain, loads of fun, loves the outdoors, cute as a button but a little quirky…is it any coincidence that Mrs. Ssurfer321 drives a Subaru Impreza.

    Reply
  16. skitter Avatar
    skitter

    I'm always disappointed that the Race Girl trailer doesn't sell actual race girls. Minimalist, responsive, purposeful, high maintenance, yes, but incredibly rewarding. The agony would be deciding what color to get.

    Reply
  17. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    My gal is a demolition derby car – she enjoys a good banging.

    Reply
  18. refined-redneck Avatar
    refined-redneck

    Let's see – quirky, lovable, needs regular tinkering, has her moods, and problems don't have an "off the shelf" solution…
    Citroen DS

    Reply
  19. Charles_Barrett Avatar
    Charles_Barrett

    My partner of 20+ years does not lend himself to an automotive analogy… more like a powerful steam locomotive.
    Reciprocating external combustion, long power strokes, and he generates clouds of smoke (although it is menthol)…

    Reply
    1. damnelantra™[!] Avatar
      damnelantra™[!]

      who would have though charles would take us there…

      Reply
      1. Charles_Barrett Avatar
        Charles_Barrett

        Who indeed… 😉
        There were other things I nearly wrote, then I decided to keep it subtle…

        Reply
  20. CaffeineFuelled Avatar
    CaffeineFuelled

    Audi R8 (but with winter tires, a roof rack, and dirt/salt covering it in winter). He makes a great impression, can hold his own with a bunch of stuffy business people, is very entertaining with an air of confidence, but also has a goofy and fun side.

    Reply
    1. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      Yours is far more complimentary than Charles' description of Randy. I appreciate that. 😉

      Reply
  21. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    I noticed she didn't go all out and give you the V10.
    (Otherwise, that was damn well thought out.)

    Reply
    1. CaffeineFuelled Avatar
      CaffeineFuelled

      Why do I have a feeling there's going to be an unintended acceleration joke coming from Dustin on that one…

      Reply
  22. Deartháir Avatar
    Deartháir

    I noticed that too… and I'm okay with that. Maybe not the best, but certainly more original. 😉

    As I mentioned to her, my significant other would be quite well typified by her Tundra. A touch of muscle, a touch of redneck, a touch of big-city bling, a touch of class, and a touch of familiar comfort.

    And you can't help but really start to like her once you've spent some time with her.

    Reply
  23. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    I'm gonna be sick.

    Reply
  24. Deartháir Avatar
    Deartháir

    Thought you'd like that. I'll tell you the actual answer later when she's not watching the thread.

    Reply
    1. CaffeineFuelled Avatar
      CaffeineFuelled

      A'hem.

      Reply
  25. Deartháir Avatar
    Deartháir

    Strangely, I notice that we're both typified by vehicles that have an undeserved reputation for unintended acceleration.

    Reply
  26. skitter Avatar
    skitter

    Aww, leave them alone, they're parking.

    Reply
  27. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    I was going to tell Mitch to check under your skirt for rusty frame rails, but I decided to be a gentleman.

    Reply
    1. CaffeineFuelled Avatar
      CaffeineFuelled

      There is nothing rusty under this skirt.

      Reply
  28. Black Steelies Avatar
    Black Steelies

    O God, so many puns so little time, so i'll skip em.
    My lady would be something like a 1968 Impala Wagon. Classy but practical. And featuring some irresistible coke-bottle curves.
    <img src="http://www.hotrodhotline.com/classifieds/images/5370101.jpg"&gt;
    My mistress on the other hand would be a brand-new Camaro. That car is such a slut.

    Reply
    1. aSoundofSleep Avatar
      aSoundofSleep

      Thanks to Ray Wert, we already know it does anal!

      Reply
  29. aSoundofSleep Avatar
    aSoundofSleep

    This is dangerous. Now where do I begin?
    Strong willed, cute as a button, proper and very intelligent, tall/skinny, from multiple ethnic decent, very frugal, and usually a pain in my ass. But mostly only a pain in my ass because I'm a bigger pain in the ass.
    Does this description qualify as a $500 LeMons E30? And is that a bad thing?

    Reply
    1. Jo Schmo Avatar
      Jo Schmo

      Im guessing some sort of sexy older British car with a penchant for randomly catching on fire and/or trying to kill you?

      Reply
  30. Deartháir Avatar
    Deartháir

    <img src="http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/funny-pictures-kitten-is-innocent.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  31. Møbius Avatar
    Møbius

    Not mine (at least not yet) but she is sweet, fun, gorgeous, somewhat crazy but in the most charming way, and a wonderful singer. A Lotus Evora? Although that means I just said a Toyota motor sounds good…
    (Hopefully they make a convertible version of the Evora) 😉

    Reply
  32. CptSevere Avatar
    CptSevere

    I'm single, not even a girlfriend. Down here in Marlboro Country, all the best women are taken, and the rest, well, there's a reason for that. However, my faithful old Ford truck, Henrietta, exemplifies what I'd like in a woman. Not too big, puts up with my shit, has a sense of adventure, needs maintenance but said maintenance is enjoyable, is unpretentious but is universally admired by those in the know. Here's a good one: Henrietta has a 240 six and three on the tree. My boss borrowed my truck this morning to go supervise a contractor installing something, swore up and down that he can drive a three speed, but the shift linkage froze on him. I had driven the truck not twenty minutes earlier, and it drove just fine. He had to creep along in first, and his wife came and got me in her truck so I could fix mine. No big deal, I sprayed some WD 40 on the linkage and it's good. I think Henrietta was showing loyalty. I want a girl just like that. She'd be a keeper, just like my nice old truck.

    Reply
    1. Ambersand Avatar
      Ambersand

      You sir, are a gem. A woman would be lucky to have you. 😉

      Reply
      1. CptSevere Avatar
        CptSevere

        Thanks, Amber, that makes me smile.

        Reply
      2. coupeZ600 Avatar
        coupeZ600

        Mr. Cpt. Severe is definitely a true gentleman and quite a scholar besides. I am proud to call him my friend.

        Reply
  33. Jo Schmo Avatar
    Jo Schmo

    My current is a Yugo (barn-find (non-running)). My future is a neglected, red F-40 (also barn-find) that needs nothing but a little TLC to get her running tip-top.

    Reply
  34. littleYodaPickup Avatar
    littleYodaPickup

    Hmmm. Good looking, sporty, but not overly showy. Thoughtful and sensitive, reliable but fun. Uncomplicated & dependable. Great voice. Very traditional. I'm sure such a car exists, but I'm not knowledgeable enough to name it. Perhaps a Chevy Nova SS?

    Reply
  35. coupeZ600 Avatar
    coupeZ600

    When I just asked my wife what car in her past she most related to/ loved, she instantly said it was the '64 1/5 Mustang convertible that she had in high school. While I have occasionally heard of this thing, what made me fall in love with her was that she was exactly like the '98 Ford Ranger XLT 4×4 pick-up that she was driving when we met. Brash, bold, bossy, and headstrong, but with all the accouterments like power-windows and door-locks and mirrors. Dirty, yet impeccably clean.

    Reply
  36. CaffeineFuelled Avatar
    CaffeineFuelled

    @Dustin: C'mon, I'm still learning all this car crap. It takes a while 😉

    Reply
  37. njhoon Avatar
    njhoon

    Can I plead the 5th?
    Hmmm Italian, temperamental, leaks money like a sieve, cranky for no apparent reason, occasionally tries to kill me, short circuits, but draws me in all the time…….I'd say Fiat

    Reply
    1. Ambersand Avatar
      Ambersand

      Brilliant.

      Reply
  38. Ambersand Avatar
    Ambersand

    Mine's not so much a car as he is a mechanic. A fine, fine mechanic that knows just how to deal with a high strung, temperamental, no frills sports car.

    Reply
  39. Rockford_Brodie Avatar
    Rockford_Brodie

    Man, I haven't been in any sort of relationship for so long I might as well just say Dodge Nitro(or Buick LaCrosse for our Canadian friends)…

    Reply