Hooniverse Asks-What Do You Want For Your Hearse (Eventually)?

Harold had an E-Type, Polish President Lech Kaczynski rocked a custom Maserati, while Michael Jackson strangely enough had but a somber Cadillac. We’re talking about hearses of course, and as that’s the last car you’d be riding in, we want to know how you’d like to go. People listen to dead guys, and pretty much do what they say. Legally, if your write it down in your last will and testament, they pretty much have to, so why not specify what kind of car you want for your big send off? They come in pretty much only one size – casket – but that doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been a lot of variety over the years in hearse aesthetics. While none are purposely designed for either comfort or speed,  there is variability in whether their primary function is transportation or viewing- looking in rather than out, of course. The one constant of these dearly departed deliveries is their commodious casket carrying capacity. Whether Karen Carpenter light to Biggie Smalls extra large, there’s a hearse to fit the bill. And for those of us wishing to go out in a blaze of glory rather than the more time intensive worm farm, the portability of urn full of ashes opens the door to such vehicles as the Lotus 23 and motorcycles, as long as there’s a side bag or something. So what do you want to be your ride on the last ride you take? Do you want something big and imposing, because size matters, or do you want something sporty, leaving the rest of the funeral party in the dust? Maybe, instead of the traditional closed hemorrhoidal wagon, you’d like something open-topped – you know, so you could catch some last rays so you don’t spend eternity with corpse tan? What do you want your hearse to be? Images sources: [picasaweb, volksrods.com]

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