Hooniverse Asks – What Car Would You Flatbed?


Perfect for carrying tea, crumpet, and detonated Triumph Stag engines!

El-Caminoizing a car is for wusses. No, what real manly men do is cut up an unsuspecting car, preferably a unibody, from the B-pillar backwards, then shoehorn a diamond-plate dump bed (giggity), perfect for hauling knockoff David statues, stolen motorcycles, and barrels of gasoline that always explode in action movies. So what strange car if you were going to start an impromptu pedal car towing business? Photoshops not only encouraged but welcome. Answers on a postcard, please.

Click through the jump for some more flatbed inspiration.

The spiderweb improves cooling, makes the car go faster, and annoys Doc Ock.

The beauty of front-wheel drive!

The French would never be so bourgeois to use a pickup truck. Also, because they don't build pickup trucks.

Rear-engined T4 with Porsche power! From the "only in Germany" files.

Nevada's Official State Car.


Aaaand, a Morris Oxford milk truck. Because why not?

[Sources: Flickr (1, 2, 3), Custom Classic Trucks, 442.com, VW T4 Forum, Biglorryblog (1, 2)]

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  1. acarr260 Avatar

    Mercedes made one to haul around a certain rather famous racecar…
    <img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2703/4467541307_d898573b77.jpg&quot; width="500" height="375" alt="Race Car Hauler" />

    1. IronBallsMcG Avatar

      That FC is so effin' F it's gotta be hard to C.

      1. Black Steelies Avatar

        Only hard to 'C Forward' because your eyes are GLUED to that magnificent beauty in the rearview.

    2. Paul_y Avatar

      Ultimately, the best possible answer here is "a Ponton Benz."
      Discussion over.

      1. Paul_y Avatar

        ….and while Binz did build Pontonaminos, I can't recall ever having heard of a flatbed.

        1. Paul_y Avatar

          …or would they be Pontonpages, having later owned Chrysler?

  2. Alff Avatar


  3. dwegmull Avatar

    I think one could replace the engine cover on most mid-engined cars with a flat bed… Payload would be tens of kilograms!

  4. buzzboy7 Avatar

    VW beetle, especially with the Royce front end.
    <img src="http://www.priceofhistoys.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/vw-truck-rolls-3.jpg&quot; width="500">

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      HDR: you're doing it wrong.

    2. Smells_Homeless Avatar

      Anybody know what that thing behind the Bug pickaRolls? Or where I can get one?

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        That's a Brubaker Box. http://www.rodster.com/articles/BrubakerBox.htm

        1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

          Enjoy your day as my hero. Thanks!

    1. Black Steelies Avatar

      A flatbed Saab with what appears to be a boat loaded on the back and they DARE abscond it from view!?

  5. Jim-Bob Avatar

    Ferrari Daytona. Why? Because it would cause very strong negative reactions from the elitist Ferrari purists and all art should cause strong emotions. Why would it be art? Because it would exist solely for the reasons of aesthetics and provoking thought and not really be practical for anything else.

  6. Slow Joe Crow Avatar
    Slow Joe Crow

    I frequently joke about cutting a Prius into a flatbed to carry dirtbikes, just to see if it makes the treehugger's heads explode.

  7. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    The first thing that popped into my mind was "Element SC."
    Don't ask me why, but it did.
    So I figured it was worth a slapchop.
    <img src="http://www.tanshanomi.com/temp/element_sc_flatbed.jpg"&gt;

    1. BlackIce_GTS Avatar

      You're nuts, I love it.

    2. Deartháir Avatar

      Damn… I really like the look of that! It kinda pains me to admit it.

  8. Seth_L Avatar

    Not quite flat enough:
    <a href="http://www.sosemarketing.com/wp-content/upload/red-bull-…” target=”_blank”>www.sosemarketing.com/wp-content/upload/red-bull-…
    Anyone know where I can get a set of wheels like the Turbines on that Camino? I want a set for my Cooper.
    Edit: Intense Debate still hates me.

      1. Seth_L Avatar

        Many thanks!

  9. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    I've posted this before, but it belongs here…
    <img src="http://www.tanshanomi.com/temp/pics239a.jpg&quot; width="500">

    1. Deartháir Avatar


  10. ptschett Avatar

    It's not just a car, it's a Caravan-carhauler.
    <img src="http://www.automk.com/media/2008/08//carcamel_01_opt.jpg"/&gt;

  11. mdharrell Avatar

    <img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5060/5515673416_50dbb58a57.jpg"&gt;
    Impromptu pedal car towing business, you say? Strictly speaking, the Type 52 is electric, but the clear choice for hauling a couple of genuine Bugattis is another genuine Bugatti.

  12. skitter Avatar

    <img src="http://i615.photobucket.com/albums/tt237/jskitter/hooniverse/AMX-GT.jpg"&gt;
    I'd start with a V8 Gremlin remade into the AMX-GT.
    I'd convert the rear axle to a second steering axle, and shift the drive to two more axles out back.
    Then I'd top it with a roof-level stake bed

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        That's creepy. In the creepy-awesome way, not the creepy-bad way.

      2. Paul_y Avatar

        This is hurting my brain.

    1. ZomBee Racer Avatar

      I always wanted to chop the back off of my old Gremlin.
      <img src="http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/199041_1915161403292_1369652107_2222756_4523411_n.jpg&quot; width= "500" />

  13. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    I did this to see if it could be done.
    <img src="http://i531.photobucket.com/albums/dd356/rover8002000/ferrari-456m-gt_sidecopy.jpg&quot; width="500/">
    And then realised that no, it couldn't.

  14. Syrax Avatar

    Hey, the French DO make pickups. The 504 was made until 2000's in China.
    <img src="http://www.vehicledynamicsinternational.com/images/gallery/peugeot_504_large/504pickup_1984.jpg"/&gt;

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      504 + pickup bed = Dreamy!
      … + China = nightmarish.

      1. Syrax Avatar

        There's also this thing.
        <img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_0EyuN6FegKM/TB7mRCB3NeI/AAAAAAAACXA/tX-5sC2Es2s/s400/Peugeot-Hoggar-2011.jpg"/&gt;
        I don't know if it's made in Brazil or Argentina but it must beat China right?

        1. Black Steelies Avatar

          Ute be right to assume that.

          1. Syrax Avatar

            <rescue attempt!>

  15. jeremy Avatar

    cadillac cts-v sedan

  16. scroggzilla Avatar

    <img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FoXyvaPSnVk/SCOXc26jDJI/AAAAAAAArrI/DISLvQsRqXg/s400/Corvette_C4_7.jpg"&gt;
    A flat bed could be the next step in Vettamino evolution.

    1. Paul_y Avatar

      …which is modeled after a real SMamino and land-speed car.
      …and I'm glad googling "SM world" wasn't that scary.
      If I recall correctly, the trailer has hydropneumatic suspension as well.

  17. Juliet C. Avatar
  18. OA5599 Avatar

    A delivery truck.
    [youtube _-n0NqJKse8&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-n0NqJKse8&feature=related youtube]

    1. Black Steelies Avatar

      Hey it's better than one and a half men and a coked-out trainwreck.
      Ok, I hope to God that is the last Sheen-induced joke I have to endure.

  19. Lotte Avatar

    <img src="http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/2328/porscheflatbed.jpg&quot; width="400">
    Because a 911 isn't rear-heavy enough.

    1. Black Steelies Avatar

      Looks like some sort of rocket/jet blastpad, or one of those military rocket launchers.
      Maybe it's just an exceptionally powerful airbrake.

      1. Lotte Avatar

        It kinda does, now that you mention it. Expect massive understeer when launching something while taking a corner!
        But it's actually a dump-style flatbed found off a two-ton chevy of some kind.

      2. OA5599 Avatar

        [youtube Vwp3S4MLec8&feature=player_embedded#at=34 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vwp3S4MLec8&feature=player_embedded#at=34 youtube]

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      There is remarkably much wrong with that.

      1. Black Steelies Avatar

        But certainly not the step ladder to the roof.

  20. Smells_Homeless Avatar

    Really? Because I tried for about five minutes and all I got for my efforts was a sprained brain.

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      I spent a lot of time underneath a forward control '66 Chevy Handi-Bus, so I have a conceptual head start.

  21. HycoSpeed Avatar

    I was going to photoshop a flatbed Lotus, but I think someone beat me to it…
    <img src="http://gregtuft.com/lotus/Lotus_Europa.jpg"&gt;

  22. Smells_Homeless Avatar

    The supercharged GMs would be very good for this application. Tons of torque and nothing of interest behind the B pillar.

    1. Deartháir Avatar

      I think you mean "behind the A-pillar"…

      1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

        Heh. Ya have to sit somewhere.

  23. Black Steelies Avatar

    Probably my favorite underrated movie car of all time. I mean it's a friggin' Buick!
    <img src="http://imcdb.org/i014532.jpg"&gt;

    1. Paul_y Avatar

      …in an underrated movie, at that.

      1. Black Steelies Avatar

        Touche. Plus the whole zombie-destoryer bus/train sort of takes away from my hearse-amino.

    2. Rockford_Brodie Avatar

      Okay, I'm stumped. What film is this?

      1. Black Steelies Avatar

        Land of the Dead. I'm not a big zombie movie fan but the machines in the film are epic as all get out.

  24. Paul_y Avatar

    An LH flabed would be pretty decent. I know that somebody made a Chrysler LHS/Concordepage that ended up looking like a 4th-gen Camaromino, so a flatbed isn't out of the question. It's a big, sort-of-comfortable car with a decent compact powertrain. Those things are just asking to be flatbedded.

  25. Hoonda Avatar

    Nissan 240SX "Siltruck" conversion:
    [img <a href="http:// ]http://ll.speedhunters.com/u/f/eagames/NFS/speedhunters.com/Images/Rod09/Misc/sil-truck.jpg[/img]" target="_blank"> <a href="http://]http://ll.speedhunters.com/u/f/eagames/NFS/speedhunters.com/Images/Rod09/Misc/sil-truck.jpg%5B/img%5D” target=”_blank”>]http://ll.speedhunters.com/u/f/eagames/NFS/speedhunters.com/Images/Rod09/Misc/sil-truck.jpg[/img]
    Totally forgot how to embed.