Hooniverse Asks- What Car is Your Guilty Pleasure?

Is there a car, or maybe it’s a truck, that you secretly lust for, despite your own better judgement, and those of others? You know, you’re a car-guy (even if you’re a girl- let’s not get our panties in a bunch over semantics here) and you know that you should love all-things Ferrari, and should hate all things Chrysler Sebring – grrrrr. And you do, you’re cool with all that- you nearly dry-hump every Aston Martin you come across, and you’re seriously thinking about getting that Green Grass and Blue Skies Forever tattoo with the azure Saturn convertible on it. But deep down inside, you start to breath heavy, and your pulse begins to race, every time a Subaru Justy rolls by. And if it has the 4WD tape treatment on the side, you nearly drown in your own drool.

Adding "ius" to the end of any name makes it magical!

That means that, even if you’re wired to appreciate what is generally accepted to be the coolest of the cool, deep down inside there’s a little bit of your auto-appreciation psyche that whispers – I like Hyundai Ponys.
Does the SsangYong make you smile? The Yugo yank at your heartstrings? Maybe you love the Levis upholstery in the old AMCs because they go so well with your Canadian Tuxedo? Whatever it is, you know that not everybody shares your proclivity, but if loving an Azetk is wrong, well, then you don’t want to be right.
So what’s your guilty pleasure- what would you put in your driveway, despite the looks of concern from the neighbors, and the potential of your dog leaving you out of shame?
Image sources: [Flickr, Wikimedia]

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  1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    I have two guilty pleasures…
    The Hybrid Escalade and the Mercedes R-Class

  2. Deartháir Avatar

    You were probably first in line at the confessional in church too, weren't you?
    I absolve you of your sins. For your penance, say two Hail Marys, one Our Father, do three pushups and change the oil on the UberBird.

  3. engineerd Avatar

    When this question came up on [REDACTED] a while back, I knew my answer right away.
    <img src="http://images.myride.com/images/vehicle/2006/Mercedes-Benz/R/oem/06.r.11_%28400×300%29.jpg"&gt;
    That's right. It's a freakin' minivan. However, this one is equipped with a 6.2L AMG engine pumping out 500 horses to the rear wheels. Yes, it's a minivan. But it's the bestest minivan EVAR.

    1. blueplate Avatar

      Ever hear how many they built?

    2. Goingincirclez Avatar

      As a long time minivan hooner, I applaud and endorse this choice. There is no shame in mindf*cking people.

  4. superbadd75 Avatar

    I'm supposed to hate my TrailBlazer according to the geniuses in the auto media, does that count?

    1. P161911 Avatar

      The wife drives a 2004 Trailblazer. It is our "nice family car". The first and probably last vehicle that I have bought new (her granddad retired from GM so we got the great discounts and all the rebates). I just wish we had waited a year or so later, I could have probably talked her into a Trailblazer SS. Other than a ride height a little on the high side, it is as close as you can get to a modern American full size station wagon (body on frame RWD and an I-6). The ride might be a little high, but I would be willing to bet that it handles better than any 1970s barge of a full size wagon. I just had to do the first mechanical repair at 84k miles. The water pump went bad, taking out the fan clutch too.

      1. superbadd75 Avatar

        I looked reeeally hard at an SS when I bought my current one, an '08. Then I asked a little about fuel mileage and decided that a real world 12mpg wasn't going to cut it, especially since the extra ponies weren't really needed. Sure, it would have been nice to have a little fun here and there, but in daily use it just wasn't practical. All in all, I love the truck, I loved the 2002 model I had before, and am pissed that GM killed it instead of making it better and continuing the model.

    2. Sparky_Pete Avatar

      Have I ever got a story about Trailblazers.
      The Trailblazer single-handedly opened my mind to GM products in general, after a lifetime as a diehard Mopar fan. For several years it was my go-to rental vehicle for work, which often took me into the mountains in the winter. I've rented everything Hertz has ever offered, and most 4x4s are not worth a crap in real offroad conditions. The TB however wins hands down.
      The defining moment: I got stuck on the wrong side of the Sierras during one of those "Storms of the Century" a few years ago and was trying to make it home in time for Christmas Eve (and to offer a ring to a certain someone… it was important). The storm came early of course and dumped major snow on us, which stopped our work dead by 10am, and kept shutting down I-80 & US-50. I went back and forth in Nevada trying to catch one of the highways open at the right time to get home. At midnight I took a wrong turn when my GPS fuzzed out completely and I was following a snowplow, which I assumed knew where we were going (ha-ha). Eventually the snowplow turned off and went back to Reno as I trudged on thinking I was almost back at 50, hopefully before it closed again.
      My first clues something was amiss were the steep climb and the elevation markers. Once they got past 4000 feet I started to worry, and at 7000 feet the snow bank at the roadside was over 10 feet high (sliced with a snow blower, not plowed). There was more than 2 feet of fresh powder on the road, and it was pitch black except for the snow in my headlights, and no place to turn around. (insert facepalm here)
      Having grown up in the area, very little phases me weather wise, yet this storm had me spooked. The road was still passable and I had a full tank so I trudged on slowly with my trailmix and emergency candybars.
      The flakes were coming down in huge clumps and the wipers started to freeze, and then I saw the sign that said "Mt Rose Ski Resort", and then another one that said "Mt Rose Summit, Highest year Round Sierra Pass, Elevation 8,911". WTF!?!?
      Somehow I had gotten onto hwy 431 and crossed the top of an extinct volcano during one of the worst storms in decades. Great. I was suddenly "That Guy", the one who makes the news when they find his frozen body with an engagement ring in the spring, who was supposed to know better. Dummy.
      Yet the Trailblazer never once wavered, never skidded, never got squirrely. I tried to pitch it sideways and slam on the brakes to see how it would react, and I could not make it slide at all with the traction control on. It went up and down that mountain and it's hairpin curves as easily as if it was in a Costco parking lot in Florida, relaxed, warm and listening to good music on the iPod the whole way. I ended up at Crystal Bay, then Truckee and the Donnor Summit… in the only vehicle on a closed I-80… and made it home averaging over 35mpg at 20mph in 4×4 low.
      I knew right then and there that this was the truck I would steal after the Apocalypse to keep my family safe. And from a diehard Mopar guy, that says a lot. Ssssshhhhhh…..
      Trailblazer, the truck that saved me from my stupid self and helped me snag the world's greatest woman.

  5. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    No, I haven't been to St. James Gate yet…

    1. Tripl3fast Avatar

      Yum. St. James Gate…. I shall make a pilgrimage there one day and kiss the Brewmaster's ring.

    1. Maymar Avatar

      I don't want to acknowledge a world where you have to feel guilt about loving that.

    2. Blacksteelies Avatar

      YESS!! my favorite Ford of all time, and im a Buick guy…

    3. Tanshanomi Avatar

      I would be willing to attend an "LTD Pride Parade" to help you accept your LTD-positive lifestyle without guilt. It would consist of you driving your car and…not much else. And the parade route would be 1/4 mile long*
      *Or alternately, since my BIR/Donnybrook fixation has resurfaced this week, 3.1 miles.

      1. LTDScott Avatar

        Actually, I am entering my car into the "Concours d'Lemons" show at the LeMons race at Sears Point raceway next month, and part of the show includes a parade lap around the track. I'm hoping to "hang back" in the pack and give it a few fast runs, heh.

        1. Tanshanomi Avatar

          Wish I could be there. Have someone get some YouTube footage.

          1. LTDScott Avatar

            Hopefully Murilee will cover the show along with the race.

        2. Sparky_Pete Avatar

          I look forward to meeting you. I'm not entering the Killer Bee in this year's show because it will "hopefully" be busy out on the track. I'll definitely come check out your car between emergency fixes though.

          1. LTDScott Avatar

            I'm sure I've met or at least seen you before. I'm captain of the Porcubimmer team, and I'll be racing at Infineon, although not in my own car — my g/f's friend is building up another scheisse E30 and he needed another driver.

  6. lilwillie Avatar

    Yes, yes it does. I get the upturned noses whenever I venture into Madison with my TrailBlazer.

  7. Alff Avatar

    Up until last summer, I owned three Chrysers and an Alfa Spider. I've learned to let go of the guilt and false pride.
    Spiders remain my shameful pleasure. My '84 was horribly outdated even when new, sports state-of-the-art spot weld construction, all the structural rigidity of a wet noodle, a theoretical 115 hp and the reliability of, well, an Alfa Spider. And yet it claims to be a sports car. Nevertheless, I've passed on several opportunities to replace it with the superior in almost every way Miata.

  8. superbadd75 Avatar

    So should I refrain from admitting that my current TB is my second one?

  9. PFG Avatar

    I am a sucker for bad '80s Eurotuner garbage. Give me a widebodied 500SEC in monochrome white, rollin' on massive body-colored Ronals and 345-width P7s, with a red leather interior and a TV, and I'm in heaven. Or Riyadh. Same difference.

      1. PFG Avatar

        EXACTLY like that. Wait, did I say "exactly?" I meant, "nothing."

  10. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    Ford Tempo, Ford Escort, Mazda Miata (stripped)

    1. Maymar Avatar

      I'm with you on the Escort – mine was probably the most fun $100 can buy without needing a trip to the doctor's after. The Tempo too, thanks to a certain fanatic.
      As far as the Miata goes, I like to refer to Murilee's explanation/

    2. Maymar Avatar

      I'm with you on the Escort – mine was probably the most fun $100 can buy without needing a trip to the doctor's after. The Tempo too, thanks to a certain fanatic.
      As far as the Miata goes, I like to refer to Murilee's explanation/

  11. jjd241 Avatar

    The uglier the better! I've always been a sucker for the "unloved", whether it's the Edsel, Pacer or AzteK. Most of the jellybeans today look all the same. Give me something with some character.
    [youtube mpe1I6Lewng http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpe1I6Lewng youtube]

  12. Deartháir Avatar

    Anyone who remembers them will laugh with cruel mockery when I admit to loving Ramblers. And I just don't care. So maybe it's not a guilty pleasure, because I don't feel very guilty about it at all.
    In that case, I'd have to say a Lincoln Navigator. They're antithetical to everything a car guy should like — and I loved it. Its poise, its presence, its ride, its power. I'd buy one in a heartbeat and feel ashamed about it the entire time.

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar

      I know of your Rambler love, and it's nothing to be guilty about. My parents had a '64 American that my Mom hated, but I still have a deep love for, even though I was barely six years old when they sold it. It was just like this photo, right down to the color.
      <img src="http://www.autotraderclassics.com/images/b/2009/12/03/64849855/0_Rambler4.jpg"&gt;
      And I know I've posted this photo here and on [Redacted] about six times in the last six months, but I just love looking at it.
      <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ae/1967_AMC_Rambler_Rebel_station_wagon_Mariner_edition.JPG&quot; width="720">

      1. Sparky_Pete Avatar

        I love it when you blindside me with goodness.

    2. CptSevere Avatar

      Ramblers are just plain cool. An old roomie of mine had a titty-pink 1960 two door station wagon with a flathead six that I just loved to borrow. Thing looked like an upside-down bathtub. The funk factor was off the charts. If you don't like Ramblers, in my book you have no taste whatsoever.

  13. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    "and I'm in heaven. Or Riyadh. Same difference."

  14. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    Mazda Miata shouldn't be a guilty pleasure anyone who makes fun of that car has simply never driven it…

    1. engineerd Avatar

      True, but only because we are believers. The heathens all think it's a chick car.

  15. Goingincirclez Avatar

    Forgive me hoons for I have sinned, and have long pined to be like Jay Leno – except in addition to the juried collection of automotive humpables, I would have a wing devoted to the oddball, forlorn, unloved, and just plain awful.
    Dodge Omni NON-GLHS? Sign me up. The Yugo I saw near a rebuilder's yard? Mine. Ford Courier? Deliver me! Anything that begins with the letters "AMC" and ends with "Pacer" or "Gremlin"? No Levi's necessary (but some sort of pants are mandatory, sorry)! If you saw it in the book "Crap Cars", I want to have it preserved for posterity. We learn from our mistakes only if we don't crush them.
    But the one car I go absolutely weird for, as some of you may know, is the unlamented American Ford Granada. Specifically, the 2-doors; you can take all the 4-door faux-benz grandma-car versions and crush 'em for all I care (although some of them are nice). But the 2-doors are a different beast.
    But while millions of them were sold with dog-slow Malaise I-6 engines, very few people realized that what Ford was passing off as "downsized luxury" was really a boxy classic Mustang! To make things sweeter, those who WERE in the know could get theirs outfitted with a 9" rear, disc brakes, and a 351 which made a so-optioned Granada one of the fastest Fords of the 70's Malaise era. Weird but true, and ironically, Mustang guys seek out these Granadas specifically to cannibalize the parts – this only drives the stake further into my heart.
    Why have another Mustang body, when you could use most of the same mechanicals to build a classy-looking sleeper like this?
    <img src=http://www.gmv-registry.com/media/DIR_10185/DIR_12360/DIR_13285/7W82F209906.jpg">
    Someday. Someday.

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar

      My senior year of high school I drove a '76 Granada Ghia, brown with the tan vinyl landau. I am with ya' bro.
      <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ae/1967_AMC_Rambler_Rebel_station_wagon_Mariner_edition.JPG"&gt;

      1. Goingincirclez Avatar

        That's a classic combo of the era! The one in the pic is an early build, '75 thru '76+1/2 (before Ford got cheap and put the F O R D letters in the grille. Yes, I know I should not admit knowledge of this minutiae… as I said, I'm wierd for these cars).
        WOuld love to find a two-tone Landau in Blue-and-White, or Green-and-white, myself – they'd play up the "sleeper" role so much more. But failing that, all-black would be the way to go.
        The one we had when I was wee was White and Red…. by the time it was junked, it was like the partidge family bus. That car took and survived so much abuse it's not funny.

    2. omg grip Avatar
      omg grip

      My grandparents used to have a basic Omni, always garage kept and lightly used, white with red interior.
      Me and my gearhead cousin always had a strange affection for that little boxy car. They replaced it with a purple neon many years later. blechhh.

      1. Sparky_Pete Avatar

        We had Pintos, Gremlins, Vegas and at least a half dozen Couriers that I loved. I search CL daily for all of them, especially the Couriers.
        It never occurred to me that I should feel guilty about any of them… which is how I know I belong here.

    3. Novaload Avatar

      OMG, a Granada. I prefer mine with the upscale wire wheels, though.

  16. Sparky_Pete Avatar

    The wife's smart car with go faster goodies. There, I said it. Go to hell.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      If it's got a Hayabusa, all is forgiven

      1. slacking Avatar

        true dat! i was curious as to how well the go fast goodies actually work on those smarts.

        1. Sparky_Pete Avatar

          It went from slow, to peppy. About as fast as my old Bug or 72 Gremlin (4.2L). Sounds like an old Detroit 2 stroke 6 from inside.
          And the car went from total "Girl's car" to "Must be a Gearhead's wife".

  17. LTDScott Avatar

    Sweet, apparently my comment was eaten by the blog monster again. I guess the spam filter doesn't like photos.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      For some reason the filters dislike both of your guys.
      Both comments yanked from spam purgatory.
      I'll see what I can do (which may well be nothing).

  18. vwminispeedster Avatar

    GMC Syclone, GMC Typhoon, Buick Grand National, 1959 – 1967 Chevy El Camino, Citroen SM, Citroen DS. Someday I hope to have one of these.
    My '05 MINI Cooper could be considered a guilty pleasure as it wasn't really a necessary purchase (I had a perfectly good 1968 VW bug that I sold for a major profit $3500) but damn it I wanted it. Hindsight I should have just gone nuts and gone for the JCW instead of the CVT Cooper, 150 mile per day commute and left leg strain be damned. It is in great condition despite the accumulation of 123,000 miles in 4 short years. This is scaring potential buyers away, including carmax ($5000 offer turned down), and now I have decided to keep it and guiltlessly drive the snot out of it telling said oversized car buying company to suck it.

    1. superbadd75 Avatar

      Screw CarMax and their little $5k. Drive that sucker into the ground!

  19. dustin_driver Avatar

    Trabant. Saab 96. Volvo Amazon Wagon. '72-73 Toyota Celica. Porsche 914. Especially the 914.
    I would say Miata, but I owned one already. Plus, enough people know they're distilled WICKED SICK in roadster form.

    1. Blacksteelies Avatar

      Dustin, you and I are in complete agreement. I don't feel guilty about them tho.

    2. scroggzilla Avatar

      Except for the Trabant, I see nothing to be ashamed of.

  20. Peter_Dushenski Avatar

    I have a bit of a soft spot for the Chevy Avalanche. I know that it’s completely awful and that it’s just an overpriced Silverado, but with the coils instead of leafs in the back, it’s fairly comfortable, and the mid-gate is practical. I’ve never told anyone this before.

  21. dustin_driver Avatar

    Oh, I forgot Opel GT and Saab Sonett.
    The Open GT should probably go to the top of the list due to the sheer hilarity that ensues when you mention it around car guys.

  22. discontinuuity Avatar

    Ford Festivas (and other small economy cars). Pre-'96 Chrysler minivans. Volvo 240 wagons. Lifted Subarus.

    1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      The last two, and arguably the first, are nothing to be ashamed of.
      Chrysler vans are okay if they have wood panelling, a manual transmission, or the turbocharged K engine.

  23. engineerd Avatar

    I had the same problem. What is the hamster's name here? Whatever_His_Name_Is needs to be fed.

  24. engineerd Avatar

    I like the Opel GT and Saab Sonett. I'm not normal, though.

    1. CptSevere Avatar

      Yeah, what's wrong with them? I always liked them, too. That's not normal? Seems natural to me.

      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

        My two immediate reactions to the GT: "gorgeous" and "have fun replacing headlight bulbs constantly". Apparently the mechanical linkage lowers the headlights a wee bit forcefully…

  25. Tripl3fast Avatar

    I have a secret crush on Mylie Cryus. Wait….. what was the question?

    1. engineerd Avatar

      I do, too. My wife thinks I'm weird. Well, that's not the only thing she thinks is weird about me, but that's another story.

    2. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      Gold? Not quite.

  26. engineerd Avatar

    My comment was apparently eated by the comment monster.
    When this question came up on [REDACTED] a while back, I knew my answer right away. A Mercedes Benze R63 AMG. Yeah, it's a minivan, but it's a badass 500 hp, 6.2L V8 minivan. So, even though I hate minivans with every fiber of my being, I'd rock the R-Wagon.
    My other guilty pleasure is my V6 Mustang. A pony car with a V6 is supposed to be for chicks and poseurs. Well, if it is then I am a poseur chick. I'll put my tutu on and get in my car, start up that Ranger engine, and drive away with a big ol' shit eatin' grin on my face.

    1. superbadd75 Avatar

      I really dig driving my wife's V6/5M Mustang. It wouldn't be so much fun if it was a slushbox, but with the stick it's pretty sweet. And for the $19k we paid for it brand new, it sure does beat driving a boring ass Civic. Even with VTEC yo.

    2. Tanshanomi Avatar

      I secretly want a new V6 Challenger. Yea, I know, they're an double-XL butt in a size medium dress, and they and handle like a pile of mashed potatoes. I don't care; it's a two-door version of my wife's Chrysler 300 Touring, which I'm really quite fond of, and for $22K I'd seriously buy that. They ride nice, and how much power and handling do you need to commute 12 miles to work?

      1. Maymar Avatar

        Truth be told, I like the Challenger a lot, since it looks fantastic, and the LX platform underneath is still pretty solid, if not a corner carver (this might be from exposure, I've had to help detail three in the past day). I'd drive the hell out of the V6 if they offered it with a stick.

      2. ptschett Avatar

        I look at the V6 Challenger almost as a replacement for my '96 Thunderbird, rather than as a pony car. Nice big comfy coupe with decent get-up-and-go, nice price, good looking. The handling doesn't matter much in the land of the alleged <"http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/11799">longest straight road in the country.

    3. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      Here ya go:
      Yours for $44k (or possibly less)

      1. TheWaterCooler Avatar

        I bet it'll sell for less than $40k. The depreciation on those is like a piano falling off a cliff, because no-one wanted them new, and no-one wants them now.

    4. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      Ranger engine? I think you mean Bronco II engine.
      Or optional-late-run-Pinto engine.
      If you're feeling generous, there's always the Merkur Scorpio or Land Rover LR3 (yes, seriously, it's a hilarious joke and it's okay to laugh).

  27. Black Steelies Avatar
    Black Steelies

    she looks like a horse

    1. njhoon Avatar
  28. Tomsk Avatar

    Virtually any 1949 to 1979-or-so American 4-door sedan or hardtop. I figure coupes, convertibles and even wagons get plenty of love, but far too few collectors are of what my dad calls the "too many doors" persuasion, and as a result, far too many homegrown quattro porte are demo derbied, donked, parts-car-ified or otherwise destroyed.
    I also have a thing for the 1978-80 Buick and Olds A-body fastbacks, the Dustbuster Minivans (A lowered Silhouette with an Ecotec LNF/Euro-market 5-speed swap would be hilarious, no?) and the Acura Vigor.

    1. Maymar Avatar

      I've often thought about a Dustbuster van with the supercharged 3800 dropped in – I know you could get the naturally aspirated version, so I'm assuming it'd be a decent enough swap.

  29. lilwillie Avatar

    If you're ever in the Madison area you'll get a ride in the Edsel for the love shown. Plenty of bars to find on the winding back country roads.

  30. lilwillie Avatar

    early 90's Corvette. Plain jane nothng fancy. Just a 5 speed and a SBC and I will be happy. Yes it will make me a cock/douche/asshole but I really would like to have one.

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar

      I think my favorite Vette is even worse…The only Corvette I really want is a '75 convertible. All 165 catalyzed, smog-strangled, single-tailpiped horsepower of it!
      <img src="http://www.tanshanomi.com/temp/whitecorvette.jpg"&gt;
      (of course, in my home state of Missouri, I wouldn't have to let it stay catalyzed and smog strangled—tubular headers and glass packs FTW!

      1. CptSevere Avatar

        I wouldn't stop there, I mean, hell, it's a SBC. You could make it a real screamer with a nice order from Summit, or even a trip to Checker for some Edelbrock goodies.

  31. M44Power Avatar

    A 4th generation DOHC Ford Taurus. The car was reasonably fast (fast enough to usually outrun any Honda with 50HP gained via tuner brand decals) and had brakes that could scare the beejeezus out of you. You got maybe three good, spirited, stops in before they were gone with no warning. Nothing like trying to engine brake an automatic going down the Blue Ridge Parkway.

  32. Kogashiwa Avatar

    This is a terrible, terrible car.
    <img src="http://www.roadapples.org/photos/0308171913031.jpg"&gt;

    1. Tomsk Avatar

      I prefer the Mirada's wedgenator nose, myself.
      I also quite like the Imperial. And would you believe both have competition histories?
      <img src="http://www.imperialclub.com/Yr/1981/Buddy/bamirada.jpg&quot; width="483" height="280" />

  33. muthalovin Avatar

    BMW X6 M, SRT8 Jeep Grand Cherokee, and Porsche Cayenne Turbo S
    I have a problem, guys.
    Oh, for fun, I would take a Caravan with the 2.5 Turbo 5 speed. SuperDuper Rare, but, you know, a minivan.

    1. ptmeyer84 Avatar

      Add BMW X5 3.0 5-speed and that sums up my confession.

    2. TheWaterCooler Avatar

      I'd take a Turbo Caravan. Also, if someone were to drop a Mitsubishi 3000GT VR-4 engine and drivetrain into a Caravan, I'd totally go for that. It's just a 3G72 with turbos; how hard could it be?
      (contemplates N/A 24V 3000GT engine and tranny into my minivan)

  34. MarionCobretti Avatar

    The '91-'93 Lebaron GTC. There's one of these running around my neighborhood, and I can't help but thinking that it's a great looking car.

    1. Travis Avatar

      Dont feel ashamed J bodys are sexy, I own an 89 GTC and Im proud of it. My guilty obsesion is with the new mini coopers. I know im sick but there just isnt a part of them that doesnt appeal to me. I also have a bit of a crush on the new SHO, mopar runs through my veins but the SHO just fits my sophisticated palate.

  35. Clashtastic Avatar

    Contour/Cougar/ anything off of CDW-27…
    I'm not normal…

    1. Tomsk Avatar

      I don't think anyone can legitimately front on the SVT Contour.

  36. njhoon Avatar

    I profess my admiration for older minvans and vans. I love ford Festivas and Fiestas. The Matador, Buick Rivieras of any year , Gremlins, or just about all 'Off Brand' cars.

  37. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Without a doubt, my biggest is the N12 Pulsar NX. Yes, they're ugly. Yes, they're a pretty crappy generation of the Sentra underneath that weird bodywork. But somehow, they CALL TO ME for reasons I cannot quite fathom.
    <img src="http://www.tanshanomi.com/temp/86-Nissan-N12-EXA.jpg"&gt;
    The other one, for the sort of vague reasons, is the Dodge Mirada.
    <img src="http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/chrysler-turbine-concept-cars-12.jpg"&gt;

  38. scroggzilla Avatar

    What is this "guilt" of which you speak?

  39. MEGATURBO Avatar

    First gen Pontiac Trans Sport: the sporty minivan! The bad pun! The concept had a gull-wing rear passenger door (WHAT?)! What's not to love?

    1. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

      Both the Trans Sport and the Silhouette had advertising help from Star Trek too. Patrick Stewart doing the Pontiac, and Leonard Nimoy doing the Olds.
      (The Aerostar also had a "space" themed ad campaign, at it's launch comparing it to the Space Shuttle Challenger…… yeah, that didn't work out so well)

      1. Tanshanomi Avatar

        I haven't seriously thought about the Aerostar in forever, but I could certainly rock a SWB Aerostar cargo van with AWD.

        1. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

          I assume you've seen the Aerostar pr0n pics below!

  40. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

    Well, this should come as no surprise to anyone who's taken a peak at my screenname.
    Specifically, It must be either an Eddie Baurer version, or the XLT, with the crazy 2 tone paint that was supposed to exaggerate the aerodynamics of the van.
    <img src="http://www.cargurus.com/images/2008/12/23/10/32/pic-20258.jpeg"&gt;
    The quad captain's chairs, and dual heat / AC are mandatory, as is the rear seat bed.
    <img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_EB3gKlxSmQA/S2nasH77Y-I/AAAAAAAAAd0/xCDipiW7lJ8/aerostar%20interior.jpg"&gt;

    1. jeremy![™] Avatar

      nice barbara walters lens

    2. CptSevere Avatar

      I think I spoke of this over on (REDACTED), but a buddy of mine had a V6 Aerostar with a five speed. He claimed it hauled ass, and I believe him, because he's a Hoon. The dummy blew the head gasket going about 100 MPH returning to Salt Lake from Idaho on I-15. He just let the towing company have it, which kind of pissed me off. Probably pisses you off even more. It was a nice van, a sleeper. Well, it was like an 800 dollar beater, but still it was a shame that he let it go.

      1. TheWaterCooler Avatar

        You could get an Aerostar with a manual?!?! Thanks for adding another vehicle to my lust-after list…

  41. Tanshanomi Avatar

    I am more partial to the Gen1 Olds Silhouette, in gold, please.
    <img src="http://autobazar.od.ua/brands_marki/96_oldsmobile_silhouette_1.jpg"&gt;
    …it's the Cadillac of minivans!

  42. Thrashy Avatar

    I want an AMC Pacer.
    There, I said it.

      1. TheWaterCooler Avatar

        That car is the definition of Hooniverse.

      2. Tanshanomi Avatar

        Dammit, you broke my awesometer.

  43. superbadd75 Avatar

    And yet somehow all I see is a V8 spinning the rear tires into billowing clouds of smoke. Nice!

  44. engineerd Avatar

    Exactly. Mine has has the manny tranny (I wouldn't have it any other way). It was either that or a Fusion, and the Mustang has more style.

  45. engineerd Avatar

    I would also rock a Morris Minor. Not a Morris Marina — I don't like pianos falling on my car.

    1. vwminispeedster Avatar

      Dad had a Minor pickup. It was a PCH that was stagnant. Then he sold it to someone restoring it for the good of hoon-kind. I haven't seen it since it was finished but I picture in a meadow playing with other Morris'.

  46. James Avatar

    Saab C900, obviously.

  47. SSurfer321 Avatar

    Aston Martin Cygnet. It's the only one I have a reasonable chance of affording 🙁
    <img src="http://www.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/aston_martin_cygnet_1.jpg'"&gt;

    1. engineerd Avatar

      True. Unfortunately, rumor is that Aston Martin will only be selling the Britishified Toyota minicar to owners of other A-M cars. Basically, you buy a Vantage for the weekends and A-M will let you buy a Cygnet for commuting around the city.

      1. Tanshanomi Avatar

        "Free with purchase?"

  48. Kurt Avatar

    I'll admit it – I love my Toyota FJ Cruiser. It's ugly as sin (hell, I even opted for the black steel wheels) and has the aerodynamics of a housing complex, but it will get me anywhere I need to go and places I probably shouldn't. It'll do 0 to 60 in 7.8 seconds, nearly a half second quicker than Ford's SVT Raptor, and still gives me north of 22 MPG on the highway.
    Now if only Toyota's accelerator / ECM and software don't try to kill me with unintended acceleration…

  49. superbadd75 Avatar

    Okay, so I mentioned my TrailBlazer, but truthfully I don't feel guilty at all about it. It's a great truck, who cares that it's got an interior designed by Fisher-Price, right? Besides leathered up in black, it looks pretty upscale in there.
    My guilty pleasure is large American sedans. There are several that I'm a fan of, and they are a dying breed.
    First there is the now dead triumvirate of the Crown Vic/Grand Marquis/Town Car. I've actually been to the point of negotiating a deal on a Crown Vic at one point, that's how much I love them. My wife tells me that it's an old man car, and that we would never go anywhere in my car if I ever bought one (except on road trips), but I just love them! Now I must say my preference is for the Ford first, then the Merc, then the Lincoln, but I'd take any of the three for their soft, cushy seats, their couch-on-a-cloud ride, and their smooth but powerful V8s.

  50. superbadd75 Avatar

    I am also a fan of the Cadillac DeVille/DTS. Give me one in black on black with a floor shifter and limo tint on the glass. The Northstar is kind of a piece of crap engine, and DeVilles are full of problems like front motor mounts, water pump leaks, and rear shocks that wear out faster than those on any other car known to man. I don't give a damn. The car glides over the road like a curling stone on ice, the bucket seats offer up comfort that would make any La-Z-Boy envious, and it's just a snap to drive. It's got gobs of power for getting up to cruising speed or passing, and on the highway the ol' Northstar has been known to get nearly 30 mpg. There is no road feel, no communication through the steering wheel, and with FWD it's not exactly a hoon's wet dream, but that's not the point of this machine. It's made to crawl into and get comfortable. You can eat up thousands of miles of highway in one of these bad boys effortlessly, and never feel tired. I love driving that big, bad, Cadillac.

  51. EscortsForever Avatar

    need I say? Well, I could say that you can add the festiva/aspire, contour, and panther platform to my guilty pleasures.

  52. engineerd Avatar

    Unfortunately not. So, my Aston Martin will stay in the garage during the week and I'll take the bus.

  53. Eggwich Avatar

    Minivans. They are just so…what's the word? Oh, right, functional.
    The Chevy HHR or whatever it's called, the PT Cruiser competitor. It's a big wagon. I like how it looks. Sue me.
    Buick LaCrosse. The last model, not the new oooweee model.
    Any old vette. Malaise this, 80s that, I'd rock the shit out of it.
    Cadillac Seville with the weird butt.
    Geo Tracker hardtop/Suzy Samurai
    Mercury, the whole brand (just so invisible, how can you not love it?)

  54. W. Kiernan Avatar
    W. Kiernan

    F-150 work truck. 11 MPG, disgraceful handling and brakes, blocks the view of the poor schmuck behind me in traffic. But it's so much fun to drive right up on the sidewalk with the flashers on (I've got a yellow blinking dome light up on the roof and strobe lights in the front and back, for extra safety!!!) and start unloading tripods and cones and stuff like I own the place.

  55. skitter Avatar

    In this crowd, the defense of forgotten, unappreciated cars is the rule rather than the exception. My guilt stems more for the love I do not have, with a few exceptions, for muscle cars. And I wax enthusiastic about only a few Alfas, Lancias and Maseratis. I confess I do not even find the Quattroporte beautiful. Only the five-door conversion made it attractive in my eyes. I am as ignorant of Australian Muscle as I am of jazz. (HSV 427 is to Rhapsody in Blue as ___ is to ___?) On the whole, while I delight in the oddities whose spell captures my fellow hoons, my enthusiasm is not what it once was. I would love to see a CTS-V wagon, but I am not banking on it. Porsche no longer seems to make great leaps forward with every generation. TVR is dead, Loti have traction control. While I take some comfort that these laments place me squarely on the automotive fringe, I would struggle to fill even a fantasy garage with personal favorites, and those seem pedestrian by comparison. In the spirit of the question, outliers might include a massive Bentley sedan from anywhere in the Mulsanne Turbo to Arnage time frame, and a Jaguar X-type. The Bentley, by all accounts, is a heavy, autotragic, dynamic mess I would pick over a Phaeton, while the X-type has always seemed to be just two Roush turbos away from awesome.

  56. Sparky_Pete Avatar

    Ok, since everyone else is admitting their thing for vans…
    This is my BIGGEST guilty pleasure….Yeah, I know, I keep posting it. But seriously, I think I have a problem.
    It's one of the last of the mighty 440s dont'cha know…
    <img src="http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs213.snc3/22038_1326058956099_1369652107_913179_1691330_n.jpg&quot; width="500" alt="Brownie!" />

    1. Novaload Avatar

      Totally rocks. I have a secret fetish for RVs–not the huge million dollars ones, but the ordinary ones. Travel in comfort, everything already organized so well–what is not to love?!

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar

      I won't dis you for that. Consumer Reports called the Caliber SRT/4 "fast but crude." I think that's more of a recommendation than they intended it to be.
      Those who hoon in glass houses should not throw wrenches.

  57. Z71 Avatar

    Black extended-cab 2500 Chevy Silverado w/ 403ci Duramax diesel . w/ straight pipes. and w/ the obligatory Z71 package- of course.
    I wish…

    1. tenbeers Avatar

      Hearty clicky 4 u. Or whatever the hell it's called here on the H.

  58. Maymar Avatar

    I've owned a Chrysler Intrepid, Ford Escort, Probe, and F150, and a Cavalier before my current Accent. I've liked them all to some extent. I have little to no guilt.
    But since you went there, I want an '03 Sebring convertible with a stick shift (the EPA tells me it exists). To go further into the dark depths of my car-loving psyche would take days.

  59. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Most non-911 Porsches. Caymans, in particular. Also, The_Missus likes the Panamera, which I'll admit I don't hate.
    Let's see, what other things are uncool around here…
    I think the Lexus IS ain't bad (if you could find one of the stickshift ones that hypothetically exist)
    C3 Vettes have a hold on me
    The Infiniti FX (old or new) is oddly attractive
    The FJ Cruiser and Hummer H3 ain't so bad. I'd consider buying an FJ.

    1. jeremy![™] Avatar

      IS junior or IS senior?
      i really like the old IS sportwagon or sedan.

      1. Tim Odell Avatar
        Tim Odell

        Definitely the OG ISs. Alas, you can't get the wagon with a stick.
        You can (theoretically) get the current IS250 with a stick (but not the 350 or the IS-F).
        Very curious about how a MT 250 would drive. Obviously not going to be fast, but might be comfy for most times and fun to flog when you need some stress relief.

  60. CptSevere Avatar

    Suzuki jeeps. Samurai, Sidekick, Vitara, whatever. They're great little rodents that go almost anywhere. My folks have had two of them, a Sidekick and a Vitara, and I've wheeled the hell out of them, with a shitty grin on my face the whole time. Yesterday, someone had a four door Sidekick parked on the street here in Tombstone with a mild lift and decent tires on black steel wheels, and I wanted that little bastard badly. It was scuffed up like it had seen plenty of desert use, which to me adds to the charm.
    As far as cars are concerned, I love the unloved for the most part, as long as they meet my criterion of not being newer than 1974 (never had anything newer than that). How about a Maverick? I've already had a Pinto, learned to drive in one. A guy here had a hot rod Maverick, built V8 (I think it was a 351 Cleveland), sounded great, big meats on the back, good paint, just was a badass car. I would have taken it over a Mustang of the same year. The guy sold it, got what he was asking. Very cool car.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      There was a manual-transmission one parked by my house for a while. This was the most POS looking POS I've ever seen:
      <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3190/2751946166_2a24dc6e91.jpg&quot; width="500" height="334" alt="1971 Ford Maverkick (1)" />
      So much sleeper potential.

      1. CptSevere Avatar

        I like the damn thing, I really do. I'd drive it around in a heartbeat, and yeah, great sleeper potential. Looks pathetic, but you could stick a Boss 302 in there over a weekend and have a real grenade. Yeah, a Maverick makes a Falcon or a Comet look as classy as a Montego. Or something.

        1. CptSevere Avatar

          Almost forgot to say, great LeMons potential. Nobody's entered one of these, a glaring omission which would get you into the running for IOE. Especially if it were a sedan like this toilet, added points for incomplete trim. I'd replace the tasteful front bumper pictured here with the dorky 1973 battle ram, for added ugliness.

  61. Target29 Avatar

    I think my guilty pleasures may be caused by a hormonal imbalance as they are PT Cruisers and Beetle Convertibles. The funny, I mean sad thing is that these would be considered cool vehicles in my corner of suburbia.

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar

      The PT Cruiser gets entirely too much guff. I might even make a PT ragtop my next commuter car, just for the hell of it. They're the most 4-seat convertible you can get for the least dough. And, they are decently reliable.

    2. ptschett Avatar

      +1. I never have understood the interweb's problem with PT Cruisers, the one I test drove was fun (base wagon w/ manual) and it's on my list of cars to consider if I find myself needing a carpooling-capable car with better gas mileage than my current 4.x-liter-V8 powered fleet.

      1. Maymar Avatar

        Well there's your problem – most of the internet has, if they've ever dealt with a PT Cruiser in real life, probably drove an automatic rental. Still, a friend of mine has one with a stick shift – it's big enough to haul around his guitar and amps easily, and it's got character (only some of it of the Peter Egan variety).

    3. CptSevere Avatar

      I'm with you, I've never had a problem with PT Cruisers. Hell, they look different, they come in different flavors (panel trucks, even), you can even get one equipped with a turbocharger. I've never driven one, but they probably drive just fine. I like the Chevy HHR, too.

    4. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      The New Beetle is seriously awesome. Well, any New Beetle that has a turbocharger (which leaves out the hateful 2.0 four and yawnworthy five) and doesn't have that god-awful four-speed slushbox.
      But an '01-'05 1.8T/TDI hardtop with a five/six-speed stick? You bet I would.
      (Have, actually. My mother's got one. I love it.)
      Nothing really guilty about it.

    5. Novaload Avatar

      Older Beetles look better and better to me–Say, Superbeetle era. And yeah, the convertibles too. Although if I had my true VW druthers, I'd go for the Ghia.

  62. DeltaRoyale Avatar

    Definitely a Lada Signet or a GAZ Volga

  63. jeremy![™] Avatar

    toyota hiace / alphanard

    1. Paul Y. Avatar
      Paul Y.

      I love the current HiAce. Too bad the nearest country it's sold in is Mexico.

      1. jeremy![™] Avatar

        hmmm… mexico you say?

  64. Jim 7 Avatar
    Jim 7

    I own an ’08 Buick LaCrosse Super; it replaced a ’92 Olds Custom Cruiser 5.7. I had a ’92 Mercury Capri before that, and a 1956 Cadillac Sedan de Ville converted to a camper. My wife had a Gremlin and a Datsun F-10 wagon.
    We owned a Mercury Villager for 12 years. We are shopping for a low-mileage Aztek to replace it. Have I missed anything?
    You cannot shame me. I have no shame.

  65. lowmiles Avatar

    Final generation Eldorado. Yeah, I know, FWD and all that, but goddammit I love that wedge shape. And two doors!

    1. Blacksteelies Avatar

      Very clean design. My friend almost got one but went for a monte carlo of the same gen. go figure!

  66. vwminispeedster Avatar

    Zom-Bee approved!

  67. TheWaterCooler Avatar

    I have the standard lust for El Caminos, wagons, and anything French. These cars are all looked down upon by society, but championed by the ranks of Hooniverse, so nothing special there.
    Aside from those, I lust after Ford Escorts, particularly the '93-94-ish station wagons. Also, any full-size van from the '70s, but shag carpet is mandatory. I'd also rock a late-80s Ford Econoline panel (rape) van, because they just look so damn scary.

  68. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    My grandfather has an '03 Sable wagon – 201 HP, vague steering, soft suspension, and hilarious brakes have earned it the title of "Jet-Powered Bouncy Castle".
    I kinda want one, too. A later one, so as to reduce the likelihood of catastrophic transaxle failure.
    That Duratec 30 was based on the Contour/Mystique's 2.5, incidentally, and much of it was engineered by Porsche. The More You Know.

  69. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    Part of me wants a Contour/Mystique.
    Don't care what engine. Gotta have a manual gearbox, though.
    My mother had one when I was a kid, a '95 Contour. Most folks thought the 2.0 Zetec was a six; the MTX-75 five-speed really brought out the best in it.
    I learned to drive (but not to hoon) in a '97 Mystique. Largely similar, but that CD4E automatic was hateful.
    Destroy the slushboxed examples. Give me a crank-windowed '95-'97 Contour. I'd like power locks, though – the manual ones got sticky rather quickly on Mum's '95.
    Dunno if it's something to be ashamed about, honestly – I know one of our own has had an SVT – but I do like 'em for what they are.

  70. Eggwich Avatar

    Jeep Commander also. Three near symmetrical windows in a row FTW!

  71. Paul Y. Avatar
    Paul Y.

    I have a thing for minivans, for purely pragmatic reasons. I am single and childless, but will do most of what I would ever ask a pickup truck to do while remaining enclosed and relatively efficient.
    On the other hand, I did mostly succumb to my automotive guilty pleasure: 2 years ago, I bought a used 2004 xB, and I love it to death. Most of the cars on my cross-shop list were wagons, but I had lusted after the xB for several years. It's goofy, slow, noisy, harsh, and cheap. However, I can haul furniture up to a smallish loveseat, or a stack of pallets, and with the five-speed, it gives me most of my driving-a-slow-car-fast thrills. Oh, and if the gas mileage really plummets (winter gas + cold + snow tires + driving in town) I get 30mpg. I've cracked (barely) 40mpg on I90 (over 250 miles).

    1. TheWaterCooler Avatar

      The original xBs were cool, especially with a 5-speed. At work, we once had a customer come pick up some boxes in his xB; I was amazed at how many boxes we fit in there. If I remember correctly, it got pretty good reviews when it came out, wasn't all that slow, and handled pretty well. And then there's the fuel mileage. No shame there.
      It's too bad the second-gen model had to gain 600 pounds, almost 1 liter of displacement, and lose all the qualities that made the original cool.

  72. Blacksteelies Avatar

    I have an unhealthy proclivity for funeral vehicles, I would love a Cadillac hearse to replace my rotting out Buick. Also worth mentioning; Truck-cars like the Subaru BRAT pique my interest, Corvairs and a two stroke Saab has been on my list for awhile.

    1. Blacksteelies Avatar

      Also anything in wagon form is all the better. My current favorite (this changes constantly); the 1979 Ford LTD II fox wagon. woodgrain sides only further complete the sleeper appeal

  73. tenbeers Avatar

    I have a serious thing for performance trucks. Not factory hot rods like the Lightning, just run of the mill work vehicles with a lot of suspension attention.
    As it turns out, "ride comfort" is a lost cause in this type of endeavour, but who cares when your beater longbed Chevy can sustain well over 0.8 Gs, and still haul a ton of firewood. Not at the same time though.

  74. RacinG73 Avatar

    I'll start off with my '02 Jetta 1.8T with manual transmission and sport suspension. Apparently I was supposed to be embarrassed of it because it was a chick car. Whatever, it drove like a scalded dog.
    Next, my current daily driver – an '06 Scion xB with 5 speed manny tranny. Gets 30 mpg and has lots of leg room in the front and rear. But some people don't seem to respect it for whatever reason.
    I'm also not supposed to want the Pontiac Solstice GXP Coupe because of something about the interior and vaguely defined complaints about its handling.
    Oh, and before it was partially crushed by a tree, I totally dug the look of my '89 Ford Aerostar. It was low, sleek with lights in the running boards and a visor over the windshield. I called it the powersled, and it was a heck of a drive for a college sophomore.

  75. Novaload Avatar

    I'm a whore for cars. Four wheels and some chrome? I'm there.
    But one item I need is a 55-58 drop top Caddy. I would totally look ridiculous, but I remember them from childhood. God's own ride.

  76. stayingclassy Avatar

    Are those guys in the Metro print ad extra small or was the car bigger than we all remember?
    "I'd like to cast 2 blonde girls, nice looking, girl next door, 4'8 max, and two guys with healthy modern looking hair, max 5 foot zero,
    nationwide… no, scratch that, coast states only "

  77. Fej Avatar

    Honda Civic Wagovan RT4WD
    Just bought one today 🙂

  78. robbot Avatar

    Isuzu Vehicross: Jacked up sports car
    Aztec: horribly ugly, but practical
    Fiero: cheap, great handeling
    GMC Safari van: my high-school ride, favorite car ever. Did everything, quick, invisable to cops
    late-model GTO: total sleeper
    80's toyota pickup based campers
    2001 Isuzu Homber, just love the front-end/bumper
    Subaru Baja: not practical at all, but love the looks + awd. I'll drive one with a chain-gun in the bed after the apocolypse

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