Hooniverse Asks: If Car Models Were People, Which Ones Would You Want to Hang Around With?


You may very well remember James May’s excellent short series Cars of the People which delved into what made many plebeian cars so popular. I don’t think we actually needed May to tell us that it was a cheeky and engaging personality that endeared and elevated many of these cheap wheels to greatness. Still, who doesn’t like spending 57-minutes a week with the charming fop?
For today’s question I’d like to flip the idea of People’s Cars with personality and ask you all the hypothetical question if cars were people which ones would you want to hang out with? We all know that cars have unique personalities, a fact bolstered by James in his show, which of those would you call friends?
Image: YouTube

17 Comments

  1. I prefer quiet folk that are uncomplicated, reliable and fun, but have some particular merit that isn’t so obvious that it results in them be adored by so many people that you can’t get a word in edgewise. I can’t think of a good analog in the car world right now, but in theory, imagine if old Acura, the one that made the Integra GS-R made a competitor to the Lexus GS series. Somewhere in there.

    1. I hang out here with you folks, so are you sure you want me drawing parallels between my preferences in people and my preferences in automobiles? You’ve seen my cars.

  2. I have the feeling that after owning the same car for too long (drove my CR-V for 19 years here, before I upgraded to a newer one), you tend to become like the car–low-key, reliable, very adaptable. In a way, too, that might have been why I (stupidly) bought a new Merkur XR4Ti back in the day–it was fast, it was different, it turned heads. Unfortunately just like an ex-wife, it caused me regular grief and needed too much fixing to have a long-term relationship with it. My “playful” side these days would probably be happiest with a later S-2000. Or a ’65 or ’67 Wildcat.

  3. I’ve been told that I’m not very sociable and too quite. The thing is, most people just don’t interest me that much. According to that I guess I should be walking. But that wouldn’t really work.

    1. Same – my wife sometimes teases me for identifying with inanimate objects more than people, but really, what have people done that’s so great?

  4. I don’t really like people and I’m not real big on ‘hanging’ with anyone. But, I don’t want to be a total hermit (or do I?)
    I do like talking to old guys who lived the hey day of the muscle car era. So, if cars were people, I’ll take a crashed, rotting carcass of a 1967 Richard Petty NASCAR GTX. Probably wouldn’t talk much, but when he did you know it’d be something you’d want to hear.

  5. I like to surround myself with a wide variety of different people, so here’s my automotive gang of friends:
    The Bro: V-8 Aussie ute
    Uncommonly handsome, funny, rugged, and personable, but too unimpressed with himself to know it. He’s kind of guy who could sooo steal your girlfriend, but is too loyal and decent a guy to ever consider it.
    The Girl: My Kizashi
    The shy, nerdy one who everyone says they love but constantly ignore because she’s so quiet. Once you really get to know her one-on-one, you realize that she’s really fun, smart and has a killer sense of humor. You start catching these totally deadpan zingers she drops, which you’d totally miss if you weren’t listening closely, and make a connection with her. And then, suddenly, it hits you that she’s pretty damn hot looking, and you’re totally infatuated.
    The Uncle: A ’60s forward control van
    That old, grizzled, bearded guy who has outrageous stories about playing in blues bands and running a lobster boat. He’s awesome to be around casually, but you secretly sorta understand why his wife left him years ago.
    The Crazy One: Fiat Multipla
    The life of the party that all your friends rave about — super vivacious, totally outrageous, up for any dare. But in reality, you just can’t hang out with them all the time, or for too long, because being around them gets old. They just don’t know how to turn it off and chill. They have to be the center of attention.
    The Confidant: Panther Crown Vic
    The one who can guess what you’re going to say, keeps your secrets, patiently endures your whiny rants, encourages you, and will stick by your side to the end, no question. Similar and ordinary enough to understand where you’re coming from, flawed enough not to judge your weaknesses, and strong enough to lean on when you need to.

  6. A first gen Scion xB : An unpretentious, oddball of a car with a heart of gold. Very loyal…runs forever, asks for very little in return, leaves very light footprints, eminently practical, great butt-cradling seats, and makes big-bosommed girls jiggle joyously on bumpy roads.

  7. Family, colleagues, and often, friends: there is no real choice, it’s them. Just make sure you have the right bunch around when you need their kind: the van when things are to be moved, the little coupe for fun rides, the Golf or Corolla when you just have to hold on, and the Unimog when it’s going rough.

  8. Honda CRX. Good looking, fun, and adventurous. People think it’s cool, and some of that coolness rubs off on you. But underneath all that it is solid and reliable. Doesn’t ask for anything unreasonable and will never let you down.

  9. Arbitrarily, I’d say the Nissan Juke? Awkward, but unpretentious, fun, and reasonably sensible,

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