Guess My Fine!

Bright red BMWs and open stretches of highways can be trouble...
Bright red BMWs and open stretches of highways can be trouble…

One fine day in September, I was on my way to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun and frivolity… the roads were light with traffic and the sky was clear. The 2009 BMW M3 sedan was built for stuff like this and I was happy to let the car chew up the highway miles. Alternating between the new Jay-Z CD, some Dethklok MP3s, and the note coming out of the quad tailpipes – I was really enjoying my drive. Until I saw a Crown Victoria pull into the median from the other side of the highway, pause while he gunned me down, then turned on to my direction of the I-15. My hand was on the blinker before his was on his flashing lights.“Son do you know what I stopped you for?”
“Cuz I’m young and I’m black and my hats real low?”
Oops… I should turn down the radio…
This officer was a nice guy and I was a gentleman – but his radar didn’t lie and I knew I was toast. The ticket was written and in my hand, my long weekend starting off on a sour note… to add insult to injury the cop began to ask me about my Bavarian steed.
“So… uh.. how does she handle at that speed?”
“… uhhh… pretty good…”
“How much horsepower is in there?”
“more than enough apparently…”
I glanced down at the ticket, surprised that it said 104 and not the 110 I thought I was doing but potatoes potatos at this point.
Time had past and the ticket was in the back of my mind, until yesterday morning when I had to wake up at 4:45am to drive out to Barstow for my court appearance.
It's Just Me Against the Wor--- uh, the State of California
It's Just Me Against the Wor— uh, the State of California

My name is spelled wrong there, but it is spelled that way on my license and I am not waiting in line to fix it from JEFFERY to JEFFREY… at least it’s not GEOFFREY (*shudders*).
I was within the first 10 people called and the judge was on top of her game… boom boom boom, in and out.
“Guily?” “Yes” “Need time to pay the fine?” “Yes” “NEXT!”
I was expecting a large number, and the Superior Court of California in the Barstow District did not disappoint.
So loyal hoons, I am doing this as a public service announcement (not court ordered, though that would be cool, it is just a fine I received) – DON’T DO WHAT DONNY DON’T DOES (on public roads at least).
The reader who gets closest to my fine without going over will receive a gift I have yet to determine. I will show you a photo with the fine listed on it and announce the winner at the end of the day. Get your guesses in, but please keep it to one guess per person, anymore and I will have to take your first guess only.
Dearthair, you are not eligible because I don’t want to convert your Canadian monetary guess to an actual value.
ALSO… if you know the answer already please don’t say. I will figure out more contests in the near future for you to be a part of.

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  1. Graeme Avatar

    My guess: $345

  2. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Hahaha…this is delicious for me. Explanation as to why later this week.

  3. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    1000 bucks, you said it in the post about the Van.

    1. smalleyxb122 Avatar

      He said that the $1000 was almost as much as his fine, so I'll guess $1001. This is like The Price is Right, right?

      1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

        Sure why not, what would you bid for this toaster?

  4. bzr Avatar

    Doctor Gonzo?

  5. Alff Avatar

    $530 – $2 per pony

    1. .357- Das Über Cool Avatar

      Doesn't the M3 have 415 bhp?

  6. citroen67 Avatar

    Considering the financial state of California, you are lucky you didn't have to forfeit your house to pay the fine. I heard of someone who got a $600 ticket for sneezing in public without a permit. 😉

  7. FTGDHoonEdition Avatar

    You obviously didn't follow the proper procedure.[youtube p73VLsEi8Gs youtube]

    1. jewfro47 Avatar

      I once tried something along those lines. Or did I?

  8. PowerTryp Avatar

    Well if Dearthair is out I guess I'm dq'd as well. Damn you and your dollar being worth only ¢5 more than ours.

  9. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    $1,120 – two LeMons cars, some old furniture, and a 30-rack (depending on location) of Nasty Ass.
    I like large numbers, and I cannot lie have no optimism regarding the affairs of the state of California.

  10. joshuman Avatar

    My guess is $1,053 because, well, it's just a guess.

  11. dfran02 Avatar


  12. pt nguyen Avatar

    about $700 dollar?

  13. Deartháir Avatar

    I bid $1, Bob.

    1. Al_Navarro Avatar

      That would be the butt, Bob.

  14. Bryan whiting Avatar
    Bryan whiting

    My guess. $1500.

  15. joshuman Avatar

    My guess is $1,053 because, well, it's just a guess.

  16. Manic_King Avatar

    In this small European country where I live, You would have lost your licence for 3 months + fine would have been about $1300 (if first time during last 1-2 years).
    My guess: $1088.11