In case you had not heard, there is a major holiday rapidly approaching.  If you are anything like me you cannot wait for it to be over and done with.  That’s not to say I dislike the holidays, but I would rather chew on beer bottles and crap glass than be stuck in mall traffic or standing in line to pay for a bunch of poorly-made imported toys that are just going to get broken or lost the first week anyway.  But I digress, as it’s not just about the children.  Most of us have friends, relatives or significant others who actually enjoy giving and receiving gifts during this time of year.  And if your favorite person is a car nut, Hooniverse has some recommendations for you.
Road Mice
Did you know they have the internet on computers now?  Yeah, I only recently found out myself.  Well if you are like me then you probably use a mouse to navigate all those porn automotive websites, and what better to surf those sites than with a car-themed mouse?  The folks over at neatorama have several models to please even the hardest-to-shop-for hoon. 
  They have Camaros, Corvettes, Challengers and many more in a variety of colors.  Personally, I’m partial the the silver GT pictured above.  Rumor has it that Graverobber wants one in his stocking this year as well.
 
Christmas Cards
This one is pretty self-explanatory really.  Nothing says I’m a cheap bastard in the Christmas spirit more than sending cards to all your closest friends and family.  Why not add a touch of class and send them cool automotive-themed cards, such as these that I found at carshirtsandstuff.  So this year, rather than sending nothing, send a card and maybe get one less bag of flaming poo on your doorstep Ebenezer.
 
 
  
  
  
  
  
 
 
Bacon Air Freshener
Bacon, what can’t it do?  Bacon is an internet sensation and for good reason, it’s delicious!  Google it if you don’t believe me.  Now that I think about it, it smells really good too.  Seriously, why wouldn’t you want to smell bacon everytime you get in your car?  Well now you can.  Baconandmeat has a bacon scented air freshener that you can hang from your mirror.  Nothing says you care more than sending the gift of bacon.
 
 
Sat Nag
 Is there a hoon in your life that doesn’t know how refuses to read a map?  Won’t stop and ask for directions?  Knows all the worst best shortcuts guaranteed to get him killed in the hood where he needs to be in the longest shortest amount of time?  Maybe you need to get him the Sat Nag from iwantoneofthose.  Simply install on your dashboard and push the button.   It keeps you up to date with sayings like “I know you’re a man, but it’s been 35 minutes now, so can you please admit you’re lost and ask someone the way” and “In 100 metres turn left. No right, err, no left. Sorry, I never can tell my left from my right.”  It may not ever get you to your destination but you are guaranteed to enjoy the journey.
 
 
Hoonimerch
What kind of Schmo would I be if I didn’t pimp out our very own store? 
We have a nice selection of t-shirts and hoodies to satisfy the clothing needs of your beloved Hoon.  This Hoon has secretly been hoping Hoonie Clause brings him an Uberbird shirt in orange, size large.

Happy Hoonidays everybody!