See that guy up there? No, that’s not Brad Pitt, it’s Sovereign Citizen, Michael Creath Jones. What’s a Sovereign Citizen, you might ask? Well, that’s basically some jag-off who claims not to be bound by the laws of our great nation, but who still whats to avail themselves of the benefits of living here – like the highways. Jones was stopped last Friday by Virginia State Troopers after they observed that instead of license plates, his car sported a hand-scrawled sign that read ‘Virgina – Private Use’ and which looked like it had been written by one of those Chic-fil-a cows.
Upon the demand for driver’s license and registration, Jones proceeded to lock himself in the car and repeatedly state that he was a ‘free citizen on a free highway’. Now, it’s obvious that no one has clued-in Mr. Jones to either the use of a comb nor the fact that nothing is free, and that the highway upon which he was currently expressing his freedoms was paid for by fuel taxes and a dash of nepotistic graft – that just being the way things go. Jones, wily sovereign that he is, offered the Troopers several phony names, likely ones that he had heard Click & Clack use on Car Talk – Phyllis Steen, Luke Warm, Gil T. Azell. Sadly, they weren’t buying any of it.
Sovereign citizen or not, no man is an island, and when faced with the punitive costs that would follow the trooper smashing the car window and dragging him out, Jones finally agreed to open the door and face his 5 misdemeanor counts. So, the lesson is, if you think you are above the law, you better stay off the roads where John Law can come down on you. And buy a brush, dude.
Image source: [newsvirginian.com]
Leave a Reply