For the Aspiring Young Cad: XJ-S Junior

xjs_junior_1_lWe’re known in real life for inflicting random web finds upon our friends. “Where do you find this stuff?!” our friends and family ask. Hence: Hooniverse.

Reader Maymar’s beating us at our own game with this one, though. in 1989, Jaguar commissioned the construction of the XJS-Junior, essentially a Power-Wheels with a really fancy interior (that’s the same leather used in the real XJ-S). The four pictures below piece together to form the original brochure.


Laugh all you want, but the kids who got these have likely assumed their predestined roles at the top of the financial food chain. We can only hope the electrics were all Lucas.
Source: Jag-lovers.org, who have some pretty sweet writeups on all things Jiaaaag.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

  1. small_e Avatar
    small_e

    Just one more thing to add to my wish list, but I'm afraid that if I found one of these for sale, it would cost me more than I spent on my real XJ-S. Damned priorities making something like this an unrealistic acquisition. I guess I'll be doing some rationalizing when and if I find one for sale. It is just too cool.

  2. Z71 Avatar
    Z71

    Damn, real lights, switches, leather, adjustable seats, Real Tires (WTF). All the luxury I ever had was the hard plastic seats and wheels, and a blue and red light bar on my Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler: Police Edition. Hey, at least I didn’t have to deal with the “Prince of Darkness” on my tiny car. I just had to deal with real, life-like Chrysler quality colored plastic interior parts.

    1. SSurfer321 Avatar
      SSurfer321

      While the Police Edition Jeep was a nice PowerWheels toy, we chose to Hoon our cousins Bigfoot Power Wheels with a car battery in the bed. Who knew plastic wheels weren’t rated for slamming into reverse at 30mph???

  3. Goingincirclez Avatar
    Goingincirclez

    My Cozy Coupe can beat up your XJS Junior.

  4. Tomsk Avatar

    Hmmm…no mention of randomly self-immolating wiring harness or headlights that stop working when you select reverse.
    So much for authenticity.

  5. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    I wonder how many times this kid has been to rehab for his addiction to coke and Sperry boat shoes…

  6. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    I would have killed for one of these when I was little (or whatever the 5-year old equivalent of killing is), or even a Power Wheels Jeep. I had to settle for a BMX, although the locking rear brake was manna to a budding hoon (I, uhh, managed to wear completely through my back tire). I haven’t yet managed to put those skills to use on a motorcycle though (my body thanks me).
    Although, if I ever find one of these when I have kids, I’m raising them as yuppies.

  7. Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets Avatar
    Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets

    I had a Dukes of Hazard Big Wheel. :grumble:

    1. Impalamino Avatar
      Impalamino

      How dare you grumble about the greatest Big Wheel of them all? OK, maybe you could grumble if your best friend had a Knight Rider model. It had a windshield!

      1. Rockford_Brodie Avatar
        Rockford_Brodie

        I had a Knight Rider bigwheel. Commence to grumbling.

        1. Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets Avatar
          Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets

          Way cooler was the M.A.S.K Big Wheel my friend down the street had. You pull a shifter looking lever and some gull wings opened up on the front near the handles revealing some spring loaded projectiles. He would always say “Hoo whee! Those Duke Boys are in a mess of trouble. They ain’t never gonna get outta this one.”
          And we didn’t.

  8. coupeZ600 Avatar
    coupeZ600

    Spike Jonze wrote an ode to the Big Wheel for the magazine, “GO”, a merger of the magazines “BMX Action” and “Freestylin’” back in the day when he was just a photographer (Mid-80’s?) that was so cool. I’m sure I still have it somewhere…. It talked about hooning the hell out of a toy that would give your father fits trying to fix, because there wasn’t a screw or bolt or nut anywhere on it, just pressed together rivets and heat-welded plastic.

  9. .357 Avatar
    .357

    I need two.

  10. Shadowguitar Avatar
    Shadowguitar

    Man, I would’ve loved to have one of those. Imagine telling all the neighborhood kids about my new jaaaaaaag. It might be illegal to be that awesome.

  11. p161911 Avatar
    p161911

    IF you could find one of these things today it would probably cost more than a real XJS does now.

  12. Dr.Dangerously Avatar
    Dr.Dangerously

    Looks killer in Green

    MiniVTEC

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      1) Whoa.
      2) Jag in a crate = awesome
      3) Not surprisingly, the last comment on that post is a guy asking for help with the crappy wiring…

      1. superbadd75, enriched with vitamins and minerals. Avatar
        superbadd75, enriched with vitamins and minerals.

        “ref: jag xjs junior……does any1, or can any1 provide me with wiring diagram, looks like some has played with the wiring and made a bit of a mess, any help appreciated, many thanks.”
        Silly guy, little does he know, that someone was Lucas. It was born a mess.

        1. Dr.Dangerously Avatar
          Dr.Dangerously

          I didn’t notice that, that is hilarious.
          No amount of wiring repair will remove the gremlins from Lucas.

  13. Schm von Richthofen Avatar
    Schm von Richthofen

    Si, little Johny, I told you you didn’t need that XBOX!
    I wish my parents were that cool.

  14. PFG Avatar
    PFG

    When I was ten years old or thereabout, someone started marketing go-carts with Ferrari 308 bodies. If someone had taken me up on the bargain I was offering to obtain one then, my nickname would be “One Nut.”

  15. towie Avatar
    towie

    That first picture looks uncomfortably like a “Bugsy Malone” style re-make of “Pretty Woman.”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bugsy_Malone

    1. Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets Avatar
      Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets

      Or Roman Polanski.

  16. SSurfer321 Avatar
    SSurfer321

    One of my fondest memories as a child was an experience at Toys’R’Us. My brother and I were with our father shopping for a gift when we turned the corner to the Powerwheels aisle. My dad tried to coax my brother into a fully functioning model (pimple faced part time employee neglected to remove the battery). Scared, my brother declined the offer to take it for a test drive. Overzealous I grabbed the wheel, jumped inside and floored it aiming for the end of the aisle at a scale 1/4 mile away. My 60′ was poor due to the plastic wheels on tile floor but by half track had reached maximum velocity. It was then I realized there would be a necessity to shut it down early due to lack of runoff. I turned to my Dad asking where the brakes were located but he was out of earshot. Relying on my instincts I slammed my left foot to the floor of the vehicle hoping it was the brake. This only engaged reverse…still on hard flooring. So my speed decreases slightly and I am now reaching the end of the track. I return to my gut which told me to turn the wheel, inducing a powerslide. I figure I can minimize damage/injury by distributing the impact across the gross area of the side of the vehicle. I slam HARD into the shelving. Realizing I may have woke the dead with the impact, I jump out and push it back the scale 1/4 mile to where my Father is watching/laughing. He throws the vehicle back on shelf and proceeds to quickly usher us out the door before management finds us.
    Little does my Father know how many times that powerslide maneuver has saved my bacon in real life. All because we went to purchase a G.I. Joe for Cousin Brian…

    1. "Sparky" P Avatar

      That was frigging awesome! Thanks!

  17. […] realize this isn’t Juniverse, but these were tough to pass up. After seeing the XJ-S Junior, reader Dr. Dangerously tipped us to The Harrington Group, an outfit that sells an assortment of […]

  18. Luther Behran Avatar

    I have come accross many diverse articles/Posts saying great and bad things about this Musician…but if we put all the personalized life style selections behind…you can not deny the quality and skill of the Music..its just fantastic

%d bloggers like this: