eBay '69 AMC Javelin Checks All The Car-Ad Boxes

Let's be honest, you don't care if she's had her tetanus shot.

In the spirit of today’s Hooniverse Asks, and my unrequited love for all things AMC, we stumbled across this ’69 Javelin on eBay earlier today. Clearly the seller has been reading Hooniverse, because he’s learned every lesson of how to sell a car on the internet, and he’s learned them well.

Wholly unloved, the Javelin wasn't a bad-looking car.

First and foremost, the seller knows we love patina, and that it’s not something to be ashamed of. He provides an absolute plethora of photographic goodies, with dozens of excellent photos and close-ups of the car showing its every flaw and foible.
Secondly, he’s brought in a sexy girl to pose with the car, and he’s done that just right as well. No cheesy bikini models, no tacky lingerie, no bizarre monkey-and-yellow-spandex combination. He’s got the girl next door, with casual clothes and a look that makes you almost — almost — believe she could be there of her own free will.
Thirdly, he’s been honest to a fault. He documents every tiny detail of the car, showing macro-shots of the door pins, the switches, a Motorola something-or-other box. In fact, with his excessive documentation, the car ends up looking like a pretty good buy. After all, knowing exactly what you’re getting into is the biggest hurdle anyone must overcome when choosing a project.
The car! Pay attention to the… oh nevermind.

Fourthly, and most importantly, he exhibits a bit of the boundless optimism that has become so legendary on eBay and Craigslist, although one can’t help but wonder if much of it is intentionally tongue-in-cheek.
Speaking of tongue-in-cheek, have a few more photos of the sexy model. For photos of the car, uninhibited by the girl blocking the view — which is the fifth indication this guy knows what he’s doing; for those of us who tend to yell, ‘get the girl out of the way, I wanna see the car!’, he obliges — just head over to the original eBay ad.
For his attention to detail, a fantastic patina, a decent sense of humour, unwavering honesty, a classic AMC coupe, and a very cute model, we enthusiastically endorse the purchase of this vehicle. And if anyone can track down Javelin Girl, we’d happily feature her again too.

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    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      Love that.

  1. engineerd Avatar

    I have about a thousand crude jokes running through my head having to do with headlights, lube, patina, and Vibra-Tones. Yet, I just can't stop thinking, "Damn, she looks waaaay too young."

    1. Goingincirclez Avatar

      Yeah but admit it, the joke you really wanted to tell involved your own javelin.

    2. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      That's because you're getting too old.
      In all honesty, I'm not even trying to guess ages anymore. Fashion has pretty much taken away any possibility of trying to figure that out. I'm going on the faith that someone who has spent that level of time and dedication to detailing the particulars of the car would not be so careless as to post photos of someone under 18. After all, I regularly see 12-year-olds who look 20, and 29-yr-olds who look 17. I'm not going to question it, I'm just going to remark that she's cute and leave it at that. She could be any age from 13 to 30.

    3. Balestra Avatar

      So in the US, is it wrong to just just think a girl under 18 is hot? Interesting how that shit is so hardcore: 20years and 364 days, can't drink. 21: puke at will! no wiggle room at all? That's plain insane.

      1. engineerd Avatar

        The age of consent in the US varies by state. In most of the US, it's 18. Some states are 16 and some are even lower (is Louisiana still 14?). The enforcement of that varies by state, as well. In some states you can be 18 and she's 17 but you're in the clear. In others that's statutory rape. The key is, to understand the laws before you try to party down!
        The drinking age thing I think is ridiculous. You can join the military at 18, drive at 16, but we won't let you drink until you're 21!

  2. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

    I bet you that iron patina on the car is older then she is, heh.

  3. damnelantra™[!] Avatar

    good thing the seller traded up models…
    http://i.ebayimg.com/13/!BoswFB!BGk~$(KGrHqEH-DEE

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      Whoa.

  4. Texan_Idiot25 Avatar
    Texan_Idiot25

    I'm 19, and even I'm questioning the legality of that girl.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      I'm sure she's of legal age.
      …to drive.
      …a car.

      1. damnelantra™[!] Avatar

        what state we talking here?

        1. Texan_Idiot25 Avatar
          Texan_Idiot25

          17 in Texas. Though, I hear 16 in some of the inbred states.

          1. Dr_Dangerously Avatar

            Texas isn't an inbred state?
            maybe near the gulf?

    2. engineerd Avatar

      Thank God you said that. I was feeling like a crotchety old man for a while there, and I'm only 33.
      Of course, my wife does tell me I'm a crotchety old man.

      1. BGW Avatar

        I'm also 33 and I accepted crotchety old man status quite some time ago. Working in a school probably accelerated the process.
        Now keep the noise down or I'll shake my cane at you again.

        1. engineerd Avatar

          I call my doctor every 3 months to schedule a hip replacement just in case. If nothing bad happens, I feel like I've cheated destiny.

          1. coupeZ600 Avatar

            I like the line when on the very rare times they ask for my I.D. when buying alcohol, "What the Hell! I've been drinking here since I was Fifteen!"

  5. BrianTheHoon Avatar

    I believe that we agreed that, in cases like this, the correct term is PAHtina.
    And, yes, the girl is cute but she in the way in too many of the shots.

  6. Benito Avatar

    Another perfect candidate for the "never paint it" club…

  7. DeadinSideInc Avatar

    The seller continues his picture theme – go look @ these Saleen wheels for sale http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/87-88-89-90-91-Mus

    1. damnelantra™[!] Avatar

      i think im going to make a note…
      remember to disinfect all auto parts from junkyard.

      1. Tim Odell Avatar
        Tim Odell

        In what way are you using junkyard parts that would require disinfection?
        They're for external use only.

    2. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      You can see where the spokes meet the lip is correct.
      I'm sorry, I can't stop giggling at that.

  8. Robert Emslie Avatar
    Robert Emslie

    Ah yes, nothing says sexy more than showing off your C-section scar.

    1. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      Hm. Doesn't quite look like the very few C-section scars I've seen… but then again, I'm no expert.
      Also, I hadn't even noticed that until you pointed it out. Here, let me make it better. Avert your gaze slightly, further upwards. Little more… little more… There. Now isn't that better?

    2. Han_Solex Avatar

      You're doing it wrong.

    3. Feds_II Avatar

      I thought the same thing… Could possibly be remnants of when she was a fat girl?
      Either way, that girl has a baby.

  9. Maymar Avatar

    This isn't navel gazing, this is navel gazing. The girl in the Javelin ad (and also the Valiant convertible ad, be still my heart) is wearing a shirt just big enough to not see her navel.

    1. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      Can't say I like that one as much as a result. I, for one, think that revealing a bit of skin is sexy; revealing all of it is trashy.

      1. Maymar Avatar

        I think given the context, Monte Carlo girl isn't trashy (well, the tattoos suggest otherwise), but I agree, and well, let's just say I prefer Mopars and AMCs.

  10. KillerZomBee Avatar

    This guy has had quite a few cool old cars for sale. I've run across him several times while searching for Datsun Roadster/SSS 411 parts, and usually check out his other auctions just to see who/what's hanging out in the yard. Loved the Roadster, Rampside Corvair and valiant Convertible. More photos of Javelin girl…
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Plymouth-Valiant-S

  11. lilwillie Avatar

    What girl? All I see is a beautiful Javelin that I wished I could buy.

  12. coupeZ600 Avatar

    Wow, I just found out this Yard is right in my old neighborhood. While I now live about 250 miles away, that's still close enough in AZ terms for a day-trip. Hey Cpt Severe, you up? It's like a mid-morning stroll from where you are……

    1. CptSevere Avatar

      Yeah, Z, looks interesting. There's another place in Tucson, a real bitchin' used car lot, that needs to be scrutinized, as well. Hell, right here there are a couple of junkyards full of stuff that Hoons from places that are not Arizona would never believe. I've got to take some pictures this summer and send them to Schmo and see if he'll post them. We have some outrageous stuff here.

      1. Tim Odell Avatar
        Tim Odell

        Ask questions, take pictures, send it in.

  13. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Apparently the trick to get cute girls to hang out at your place and let you take pictures of them is to accumulate a collection of quirky, yet awesome cars.
    I know it worked for me ; )

    1. Deartháir Avatar
      Deartháir

      Don't worry, we won't tell the wife, your secret's safe with us.

      1. Tim Odell Avatar
        Tim Odell

        Dammit, I was trying to be charming.

  14. Alff Avatar

    I've got an old Humber that I've been trying to sell. I wonder if she'd be willing to polish my Sceptre.

  15. LTDScott Avatar

    In before "hey, would you like to sit on my javelin?" comments, heh.
    The background of some of the photos reveals some other interesting cars – a D2K roaster, Isuzu Stylus, Fox Body Capri, Starion, Stude, early Cougar and SHO at a quick glance.
    The seller has a lot of things that are relevant to my interests!

    1. P161911 Avatar

      Looks like there is a SVX there too along with a FC Van/truck of some sort (A-100?), a E24 6 series, the Stude convertible and some sort of Stude Hawk coupe.

    2. muthalovin Avatar

      <img src="http://www.motorsportwarehouse.com/ebaypix/as112.jpg"&gt;
      That Cougar really piqued my interest.

      1. LTDScott Avatar

        Wow, a Stylus AND a VehiCROSS!

      2. Mike_the_Dog Avatar

        No love for the orange Datsun Fairlady roadster?

    3. Han_Solex Avatar

      Only on Hooniverse would the loyal readers prioritize the scrutiny of the cars BEHIND the girl. Your steely composure and powers of concentration are to be congratulated.

      1. Deartháir Avatar
        Deartháir

        I was almost entirely certain that was exactly what would happen. And that's why I love this place.

    4. DeadinSideInc Avatar

      I see an Allante as well,

  16. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    What is she, fourteen? Good grief.

    1. smokyburnout Avatar

      I think you've got it backwards… Unless she's a particularly late-production model, she's 41.
      ….wait, what?

  17. Balestra Avatar

    I know I'll be yelled at for this but, the patina in this one is way too much for me. looks like the first bump I hit would mean my head punching through the roof, my head coming back with cuts and scratches, blood running down and certain death approaching ever sooner, for there's no tetanus shot strong enough that can contain an infection so massive.

  18. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Hooniverse. Hooniverse said: From Hooniverse: eBay '69 AMC Javelin Checks All The Car-Ad Boxes http://bit.ly/dwxUbO […]

  19. DrG Avatar
    DrG

    Hi guys
    Nice to see everyone, or well most everyone likes our auctions.
    We've been selling some nice rust free (Tucson) Az iron on ebay for the last
    8 yrs now. The last 3 years things our ads have progressed quite
    abit, thanks to how to take better pics and good friends of mine offering
    to hang with the cars for some pix. I have several keepers not currently on ebay
    but we do have them on our sister site (www.azclassiccarconnection.com) and
    a few we arent selling at all.
    One thing I can promise you, none of the girls have a C section scar and they are
    ALL over 18… the recent one with the Jav just turned 21 actually.
    Glad you enjoy our auctions, hope you like our car and model websites coming up
    soon with new info. (mymotorsportmodels.com)

    1. Joe Avatar
      Joe

      You still selling old classics? The link doesn't work anymore.

  20. james D. Avatar
    james D.

    who is the girl ?

  21. Mukta Rahman Avatar
    Mukta Rahman

    She looks so cute and sexy with that beautiful dress. Her style also look stunning. As a girl I can’t wait to try like her with a car. Thanks and check it now.

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