Detroit 2013 – Audi RS7 is a ground-seeking missile dressed in a tuxedo

Audi RS7

Minus those terrible wheels, the 2014 Audi RS7 is everything I need in a new car. It’s wickedly fast, looks damn good, and seats four people plus gear. I might just steal this car right off the show floor, and drive it back to Hooniverse HQ.

If you don’t find my body, it’s because I tried to jump the Grand Canyon on the way back out West.

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22 responses to “Detroit 2013 – Audi RS7 is a ground-seeking missile dressed in a tuxedo”

  1. muthalovin Avatar

    This is awesome. I really like what Audi brings to the yard.

  2. Sjalabais Avatar

    Audi and BMW next to each other? If they weren't so damn straight there should be two Germanic titans wrestling on a madrass right between the stands 24/7.

    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      Mercedes is near here too I think, actually.

  3. dculberson Avatar

    That's pretty dang cool, but the price will be breathtaking, I'm sure.

  4. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    In side profile, it makes me think of:
    <img src="; width=450>
    Something tells me the Monica would have done quite well if it had arrived forty years later.

    1. Irishzombieman Avatar

      Mind. Blown.
      That's incredibly pretty, and I've never seen it before.

    2. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      <img src="; width="500"> I had no idea of this either, Now I cannot get it out of my mind. It's simply glorious. Thank you.

  5. topdeadcentre Avatar

    Performance most people can't use, at a price most people can't afford.
    It's a special car, for a special few. Especially the ones who can afford to pay off tickets, cops, judges, etc…
    The bloggers and commenters will love it endlessly, though!
    (and yes, I have had a rotten day here at work… does it show?)

  6. Jay_Ramey Avatar

    Deirdre: Larry, tell Vincent what it is you'll need.
    Larry:::shrugs:: Something very fast, like an Audi RS7. Something that can shove a bit.
    Vincent: I'll have it for you this afternoon. But are you sure you'll be able to catch up to the old XM?
    Larry: yeah, I'm pretty sure.
    Vincent: I mean, we could always get something faster for you, with an automatic transmission…
    Larry: nahh, I got it, I mean those are old XMs after all…
    Vincent: well, apparently an S8 with nitrous wasn't enough the last time, sooooo I'm just saying….
    Larry: nah, it's fast enough. It's all good, it's all gravy..
    Vincent: you know it has the tiptronic, so you don't have to fiddle around with the manual this time….

  7. Batshitbox Avatar

    I'm liking the rear end. Nice silhouette. Not seeing the terrible wheels you complain of, there's a quattroporto in the way.

    1. JayP2112 Avatar


  8. schigleymischke Avatar

    I love my Volvo. I love my Volvo. I love my Volvo. I LOVE MY VOLVO!!!
    (Help me, please.)

  9. Wandering Eye Avatar
    Wandering Eye

    Chrome wheels. Just so so wrong. Keep it understated. I guess it's an American thing.

  10. pj134 Avatar

    I'm impressed, it will just about run with a CTS-V. Then again, the V comes in a wagon and has an engine that can be mended with a mallet…
    <img src="; width=500>

    1. 0ToTuttiFrutti Avatar

      Good point..and the CTS-V wagon will haul a lot more bags of manure.
      But, damn, if the RS7 is sex with Scarlett Johansson, then the CTS-V is sex with a…protractor?

    2. schigleymischke Avatar

      In this case, I really do love my Volvo. It's nowhere near as fast, but is a real wagon. The CTS wagon is to wagons as the Infinti FX is to SUVs.

    3. dan1malk Avatar

      Not to mention the Caddy would do all this 4 (!) years ago.

    4. KevinKiley Avatar

      I would take the Caddy no doubt, and thats a beauuuutiful one. But saying the audi will ALMOST run with it is a little misleading. The Audi will kill it to 60 and through the quarter. The new S8 does 0-60 in 3.5 with more weight and less horsepower. This will likely be a 3.3 second to 60 car…almost a second quicker than the Caddy. Top speed doesnt mean as much in the real world IMHO.

  11. Sjalabais Avatar

    Still a pity that this looks like an old Mitsubishi Galant. I guess I am going to like it better in 20 years.

  12. engineerd Avatar

    I like this. I like this a lot. I may empty my 401k to buy one. OK, maybe that's not a great idea. But what is it the kids are saying? YLOO?

  13. Andy Avatar

    I'd prefer VW W12 Phaeton.

  14. Van_Sarockin Avatar

    Tremendous accomplishment, I'm sure. But as TDC said, it does nothing for me, and I'm curiously uninterested in it.

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