Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Today we’re inaugurating a new weekly series, one that I call Craigslist Crapshoot. What the hell is that, you might ask? Well, most of us spend an inordinate amount of time scouring the online classifieds for hidden gems, and we invariably have to slog through a sea of automotive detritus whilst doing so. I want that detritus. In fact, I want the most unholy craptastic abominations that could still be called a driver. 

First the rules (yeah, you knew there was going to be rules). The car or truck has to be: some form of running, currently licensed for the road, and. . .  that’s it! Salvage titles, grey market imports, trunk full of roadkill? No problem! They just have to be the worst things you can find. And if you happen to live in a country where Craig currently fails to provide a list, that’s also not a problem either, just give us contenders from your local Craigslist alternative.

We’ll announce the winner, winner, chicken dinner in next week’s post. Links and pics in the comments section below please. 

147 Comments

    1. Some form of running, right? I mean, my Craigslist searches are almost always limited to sub-$1000. That means that somewhere in the neighborhood of 60% of the cars are non-runners, projects if you will. Maybe even more. Where am I to post those if they don't qualify? Like say, a snowmobile with an aircraft engine and a prop sort of like an air boat, that for some reason was residing in Virginia. Hypothetically speaking.

  1. 20 pages in, and I was going to give up, until I came to a listing "plow car for sail", which, of course, piqued my curiosity.
    Now, it certainly won't be a contender, but I found it interesting, and, at $950, it seems like a bargain, since it comes with the plow.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K53Lb3N75T45Fd5R3ccvdf4e9afc83a514ae.jpg&quot; width=500>
    <a href="http://toledo.craigslist.org/cto/3512652752.html” target=”_blank”>http://toledo.craigslist.org/cto/3512652752.html

    1. I haven't even looked at it, but you get a +1 for the dedication (or boredom) that it took to get through 20 pages of random craigslist listings.

    2. This must be somewhat popular as there is a 91 civic that looks just like that one here on the local kijiji classified site. Its said to be road legal and is wearing a 7.5 foot plow. and anber lights on its roof.

      1. Hey man. It's got hotrod flames on the seat covers. You know how much HP that adds. And he's only asking $2500.

  2. This is dangerous for me, I just found a non-running Fiero for $800 and started having too many bad ideas.

  3. After weeding through 20 pages worth of headings to find the Civic plow car, I determined that my strategy needed an overhaul. After narrowing the results to only ads with “custom” in the title, I was not disappointed. Within the first page of search results, I found this gem.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kd3J13p35Ea5Fe5J1ccgc36a5adb80131303.jpg&quot; width=500>
    <a href="http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/3483166405.html” target=”_blank”>http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/3483166405.html

          1. Wasn't the original Miami Vice car a Fauxarri?
            This actually looks pretty good… just call it a Rover SD1 cabrio.

          2. Yes, it was C3 with a faux Daytona body. I saw one at a car show in the 80s and it was pretty convincing, except for the distinctive Corvette door handles and the New York registration sticker that said Chevrolet.

    1. I remember that body kit well; the very first Darth Vetter as covered in Hot Rod magazine back in the late 70s sported those panels along with some custom vent louvers in the flare openings. It was a stunner in black.
      The wheels sported on this version are anachronistic; it's been better than 3 decades since I last read that article but I recall the wheels used then were the ubiquitous Center Line ring of rivets style.

      1. Rules are made to be broken!
        It still could be though, I've seen much stranger things licensed around here. I mostly posted because the graffiti artist misspelled butt though, not going to lie to you.

      1. If I didn't live three hours away, I'd go. He has a Google+ link in the ad, with lots of pictures. Weird stuff, like *two* '59 Edsel station wagons.

        1. That is truly terrible in every sense… It looks like it was raised using boxed steel tubing tack welded to the frame… Not only ill conceived, but in all likelihood, dangerous.

          1. Just make sure you use as many support points as possible.
            Or 6.
            Yeah, 6 oughta do it. I mean, there's no need to spend all day on this.

          2. I see no problem with this. In a severe enough accident the lower frame will separate, and then the upper frame, finally the engine and front will blunt impact – really it's like what NASA did to land the last rover on Mars. This IS rocket science!

  4. <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ie3M33Jc5N15E95K7d127c98436ef4f91537.jpg&quot; />
    Dangerously low asking price? Check.
    Appalling photography? Check.
    Just a few examples of said photography? Check.
    No mention of transmission? Check.
    Not smogged yet? Check.
    Smells like a winner, er, loser.
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ant/cto/3516649406.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ant/cto/3516649406.html

    1. Now all we need is a fiesta or is it a festiva(I mix the two up) and you could have your own shogun.

  5. So can we have a separate category for large hunks of rust and piles of parts that vaguely resemble automobiles that folks are trying to sell for exorbitant sums of cash and/or meth?
    Something like this:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3ke3Ib3N65Ie5K35Hdcanbbee8cce05961310.jpg"width=400&gt; http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3360089323….
    Or this:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E83J13Ne5I95K55J4ccjf80cdcb2b9ea17e0.jpg"width=400&gt; http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/cto/3490246980….
    Or this:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3F73Jc3Hc5L65Ne5F5cck229da27002f21014.jpg"width=400&gt; <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3491545706.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3491545706.html

    1. Wait, I'm confused. I thought we were supposed to be finding terrible things, not awesome shit…

      1. I just wanted to show it off. Same deal with the free Valiant.
        Though I will say the seller is clearly lying, because it hasn't left that patch of grass for at least a year and now we're in full blown snow time so it's probably under a snowbank at this point.

      2. The problem is, terrible is subjective to the person who is posting it. I'm not a fan of raised vehicles simply because they stand out like a sore thumb on the road and are likely quite unstable, driven by hillbillies.

    1. I instantly think of many things to deliver that nobody wants to have. Premium deluxe ultra 2000 find!

    2. I was thinking mini camper but as I look at it more it dont think one person could even sleep ciddy corner in that . Still I think a courier service may be a brewing just so.I could buy this.

    1. If that were three hours or so closer, I'd be all over that. 5 speed, wagon, brown. Just needs some volvo steel wheels with the 'V' logo hub caps.

      1. I'd love to get the story behind that single 940 Turbo wheel on the right rear mated with the other 3 stock steelies. That's a 16" x 6.5" wheel on the right rear and 14" x 5.5" (or 5" since it's an '84) on the rest of the corners. In fact, the left rear looks to be the spare. At least the offsets are all the same.

    1. And they clearly don't know how to strap a car down to a trailer. There is a better than zero chance that I will one day own a MKIII Supra. Today is not that day.
      Today is not that day…
      Today is not that day…
      Mustn't search local craigslist for MKIII Supras…
      Dammit.

  6. Alright, I wanna play. Ford Ranger, $875.
    First pic, not terrible, just a goofy/oversized cowl hood and some silly fake brake vent in fron tof the rear wheels:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K93M53p45N45E75M4d12e9bff52878601094.jpg"&gt;
    Then the fourth pic:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ga3L53o35Ld5Fe5Hed12c9967578ca0710de.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3516616949.html” target=”_blank”>http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3516616949.html

    1. When I see an unfinished Jeep for $12k, my initial reaction is that it is grossly overpriced. Reading through the ad, and seeing the rest of the pictures has me second guessing my thoughts.
      I, likewise, have a hard time seeing where $30k might have gone, but I have no trouble seeing $12k in value here.

      1. I agree, if show Jeeps are your thing, I can see this being appropriately priced. But a Jeep that has been two different people's project, and still isn't finished? I'd be hesitant to buy any unfinished project, because you don't know the quality of the work already done, and this just doubles that concern.

      2. I agree, I am surprised to find that it is essentially a brand new vehicle (which, mind you, is still not completed). Not my thing, but the right person would definitely pay $12k for all of that.

  7. I'm having way too much fun right now, and getting zero work done.
    This one is simply listed as: (((custom truck))). I figured it would be some pickup on 24s, but I wonderfully and splendidly wrong.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E83Ic3N45G15H15S2ccu2259dccd45d31694.jpg"&gt;
    My favorite part is the crudely photoshopped MSpainted picture of what he wanted the project to become:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Mc3F13Nf5G65Fc5Mcccud373012eae5d1738.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3510756010.html” target=”_blank”>http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3510756010.html

    1. Why, I don't see anything at all wrong with that…it's a collectable car…or a major award…

    2. That is glorious! I love it for all that it is, and especially for what it isn’t. I laughed until I cried. I can only imagine how much that thing would piss off the Mopar purists. I actually sort of want it. At $1900 it’s dangerously close to a “why the hell not” price.

    3. As someone who's attempted to fabricate a Superbird from something that's…not, I empathize with this man's struggle.

      1. I am honestly surprised how convincing the `71-`74 Chargers could be as updated Daytona clones in the hands of the right fabricator.

    4. I can only imagine the LeMons judges reaction when you try to explain to them that you bought the car as-is and have made no additional modifications. They wouldn't let it race but they would jump on it if offered as a Judgemobile.

  8. I made this super time consuming post with oodles of url's earlier this evening that now appears to have gone away. What happened? Was displayed on my PC, is not on my phobe now.

      1. Let me put a song on your mind as a little thank you:
        If you're happy and you know it, clap your
        hands (clap clap)
        If you're happy and you know it, clap your
        hands (clap clap)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, clap your
        hands. (clap clap)
        If you're happy and you know it, stomp
        your feet (stomp stomp)
        If you're happy and you know it, stomp
        your feet (stomp stomp)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, stomp
        your feet. (stomp stomp)
        If you're happy and you know it, shout
        "Hurray!" (hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, shout
        "Hurray!" (hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, shout
        "Hurray!" (hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, do all
        three (clap-clap, stomp-stomp, hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, do all
        three (clap-clap, stomp-stomp, hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, do all
        three. (clap-clap, stomp-stomp, hoo-ray!)

        1. If you're happy and you know it,
          but start pooping while you show it, diarrhea, clap-clap, diarrhea, clap-clap.

      1. I ran across an ad when I was searching that I wanted to post simply for the last line, but the car was nothing abnormal so I didn't. The last line, though, was:
        "I don't answer numbers I don't recognize, so if you call leave a detailed message and I might call you back"
        Damn, if I want this particular relatively generic car I better leave a damn good message, other wise he might not think my money is good enough for him.

    1. Jesus, people get tired of cutting each other up down there and start cutting up cars? that vega wagon is crazy though!

      1. At least the Vega owner had the common sense to drill some vent holes in the rear window plexiglas.

  9. Probably hit the spam queue.
    Long post, lots of links and images from a user with no account tricks the filters.
    BRB, going behind the scenes…

    1. While tempting, anyone considering purchasing it should be required to watch the following (and the other parts of that series):
      [youtube lx0S3cIW-q8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx0S3cIW-q8 youtube]
      If you still want it after that full and proper warning, by all means go ahead.
      *Disclaimer: I still want it after that warning, if only because of a V12 for $5500.

      1. If you really want a cheap V-12 just get a 750iL. Those can be had for less than $2k and offer the same upkeep nightmare without the 2-door style for much less. I traded my 87 Bronco for a 88 750iL. I later traded the BMW for a 79 Ford Ranchero. About a year later I saw my old BMw on Craiglist for $1500.

  10. Me and a few friends send each other CL automotive postings, each trying to one-up the other on our finds.
    My secret? I bebop on over to the automotive section, and then simply search for 'LOL' in the postings.
    You can bet for sure that most of the results you dredge up with 'LOL' are going to be pretty good.

    1. How convenient
      The Lotus can also serve as the CASKET when you inevitably die in this four-wheeled soul eater.

    2. Yikes. That's well past Veyron power-to-mass and closing in on 917/30 territory. My vote iswas (see below) still with the Camel Tow, but only because there is a small amount of sort-of-want here.
      Scratch that, I just went and looked through the ad.
      – 383 SBC
      – It has a Carburetor (blowthrough, though, so no fuel in the turbos)
      – Jaguar IRS with LSD
      – TH350 transmission.
      – The fit and finish of the hood. Ugly nose cone.
      Do NOT want. You are back in the running.

    3. Anything with 750-1100 hp that weighs 2400 lbs contains some quantity of want. It may not be made of pure want like if it had a manual transmission and fuel injection, but the want is still there.

  11. http://cleveland.craigslist.org/cto/1624667476.ht
    '85 Maserati Biturbo (twin turbo intercooled) with 37K miles, titled, needing minor restoration (wiring, exhaust, seat covers, one turbo rebuilt) for $2,500.
    '72 Lotus Europa racecar, not street legal (bill of sale only) rebuilt RARE twin-cam BIG VALVE enging with dual WEBER head, rebuilt and powder-coated trans, frame redone, most fiberglass done, new windshield, most parts to finish. Dynoed engine according to previous owner. Minilites, fender flares, built-in roll bar, and will make awesome track car when done. $5,000
    '77 Matra Bagheera S — 3-seat mid engine sportscar, titled, likely only RHD Matra here in the US, Hodec conversion from England and still has its English license plate on the front. small crack in corner of windshield, 4-speed SIMCA engine, Campagnelo wheels, sunroof, GT unibody fiberglass bonded to metal, needs interior freshening and tires, awesome performance. $5,000
    Might trade for backhoe with trailer, 4x4ATV, Harley, or combination cash and partial trade. Don't need a job, so don't ask….

  12. $100K get's you the most absurd bike hauler ever. A 2000 Peterbuilt with a platform for a single custom Harley where the 5th wheel should be:
    <img src="http://imagescdn.dealercarsearch.com/Media/552/379_02.jpg&quot; width=500>
    <img src="http://imagescdn.dealercarsearch.com/Media/552/379_09.jpg&quot; width=500>
    Other nifty details:
    "Two Additional Aluminum Fuel Tanks Right Side Fuel Tank Converted to Beer Cooler" – Of course.
    "Party Deck on Back of Peterbilt" – Sure
    "Hand Tooled Trucker Girl" – I'm sorry, what?
    Plus 44 mag gun cylinders for the truck brake pulls, and the foot pegs and handlebar grips on the bike.
    Makes perfect sense and absolutely worth $100K, right?
    It's also on Crag's list here.

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