Certain types of ads are richer veins of Classic Captions gold than others. For example, advertising images for malaise era luxury cars, anemic ’80s domestic “sporty” cars, and overly trendy ’90s cute utes each promise a giggle of anticipation even before you’ve seen the ad in question. Now, let’s add to that list Eastern Bloc cars. Communist promo photos of the Soviet era tirelessly mimicked the bright, cheerful sophistication of Western consumer advertising, which only highlighted the somber oppressiveness of life behind the Iron Curtain and the crudeness of the cars built there. This marketing image could almost depict a happy Floridian at Cypress Gardens in the early ’70s. But not quite. Even if the viewer blots out the Zaporozhets, something remains just a bit off. It’s like they were trying a little too hard. And that awkwardness should make it easy fodder for your cleverest comments.
Speaking of easy pickin’s, last week’s Camaro and the oh-so-’80s ad art were both ripe for the snarking. And snark you did. channeled the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy to mock the ad’s overly bright color palette:
Short version: ” ‘Yellow,’ he thought.” Long version: “God what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked at himself in the wardrobe mirror. He stuck out his tongue. “Yellow,” he thought. The word yellow wandered through his mind in search of something to connect with. Fifteen seconds later he was out of the house and sitting in a Z28 in front of a big yellow window decoration that was advancing up his garden.” With apologies to D. Adams.
In second place was, with this more pointed criticism of the car itself: “Models made out of the same high quality plastic as the interior.” Kudos to both.