Classic Captions – The 1978 Excalibur Series III Roadster Edition


Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that are set to run this time each week, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week’s image has its fair share of what I call “The Creep Factor”.


Last Week, we had an image of a Shakespearean Troubadour in a Fiat, and the responses were few in numbers, but enlightening none the less. A few responses were truly inspired, including one from Atomic Toasters contributor mdharrell who came up with a caption that almost became the top vote receiver this time: “Luigi Dallapiccola’s “Fix It Again, Tony” is universally acknowledged as a masterpiece of modern Italian opera, despite the technical difficulties that have plagued every attempt to stage it.” Very interesting Professor Harrell, but not quite good enough.

This time the winning caption was from skitter, who tied in the period very well, with this Shakespearean Rhyme: “Giulietta, Giulietta, wherefore art thou, Giulietta?” This would have been more appropriate with an Alfa Romeo Spyder, but it was funny none the less, so well done skitter!

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks image, and it’s just this side of creepy… Here we have a 1978 Excalibur Series III Roadster with your typical 70’s sporty couple dressed for Tennis. Notice the look on the guys face, like he’s getting away with something while the Camera is shooting away. So, what do you think he’s doing? Copping a feel of the Blonde? Quietly wetting (or something else) in his shorts? Thinking about his next move after the photo shoot is finished? And you know its the 70s with that fantastic Porn Stache, and her Feathered Farah Fawcett Hair. Let’s see if you can come up with a funny, snarky, or an outrageous caption for this curious image. (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after contemplating our own caption, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream


  1. Next year, honey, let's just stick with a crappy tie. I'll like it about as much but it will cost a lot less.

      1. <img src="; width="500" height="333" alt="Hound man and bunny chick on a donkey… right!"> Oh man I missed one, sorry Devin here's a prize, it's all artistic and stuff. And skitter, here's a copyrighted Julia set animation, don't copy that floppy. This reminds me, a story according to my dad of Mark Spitz's 'stache. He won all those medals, and was asked my the Soviets what his secret was. He said it was the mustache, it makes him more streamlined, the water just flows around his face in two low resistance streams or something like that. Guess the Soviet coaches did not have a sense of humor, cause soon all their swimmers had mustaches, and were slower. DA BEARS! <img src=""&gt;

  2. "Let's go for a ride, and then I can show you my various strokes. We'll have a ball, my love!"

  3. A porn star from the ‘70s and tennis.
    <img src=>
    Name two things with fuzzy balls that come in a can.

  4. "I love the new car, honey. Such a timeless design. Forty years from now, this will be a cherished classic."

  5. I wounder what she'll look like ten years on… A little headlight augmentation a little tail light slimming maybe a color change and some wax and she will be all set.

  6. Fred wasn't sure exactly what prompted his neighbour Chet to shout, "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!", but he suspected it wasn't complimentary.

  7. Tennis with the wife:
    It always begins with love.
    At some point, she will have advantage.
    It will be your fault.

  8. "I bought it with the money I made doing porn. But don't worry, girl; I only do really classy stuff — as tasteful as this classic Excalibur!"

  9. Despite Art's refined vehicular taste and masculine prowess both on and off the court, he was never able to convince Sheila to refer to him as "King Arthur."

  10. The 1978 Excalibur Series III: styled by mustachioed cocaine enthusiasts, for mustachioed cocaine enthusiasts.

    1. What is the offspring of a 4th generation Hyundai Sonata and a W210 Mercedes, Alex?

  11. Bruce smiled as he showed Sheila her new Excalibur but his dark heart remembered his alimony and figured he'd pay for it by introducing his ex to a different caliber…

  12. On the next episode of The Interceptors: The boys must infiltrate a pornography ring whose leader is a Grand Master in the deadly sport of Car Tennis Jousting.

  13. "If you find this rare and beautiful luxury cruiser impressive…Wait till you see my backhand baby!"

  14. /flips on the Weird Stories With IZM switch
    Arty and Gwen were grinning as the driverless car skidded to a rubber-screeching halt right in front of them.
    "How'd it do that?" Arty whispered out the side of his smile."How'd it make the tires shriek on gravel?"
    "I dunno," Gwen whispered back, "but it didn't leave any tire tracks either. What do we do, Arty? What do we do?"
    "Just keep smiling, Gwenny. You didn't see nothin'. Neither did I."
    Thus ended Arthur King's opportunity to pull an Excalibur out of a stone parking lot.
    Twenty minutes later, a pool boy named Skeeter heard opportunity knocking, hopped in the car and drove off to become a rock star.

    1. Hey! You have 100p! Welcome to the century club!
      We have a wide assortmant of booze. Don't eat the cheese, though. It's just a decoration to class up the joint.

  15. Candi: Sweet car, Carl. You wanna hit the net?
    Carl: That's not how you win at tennis, babe.
    Candi: Oh, I wasn't talking about the actual net. I was referring to *whisper*whisper*
    Carl: Ohhhh…in that case, I would very much like to hit your net…

  16. "Very interesting Professor Harrell, but not quite good enough."
    Thanks! This is, however, a particularly apt summary, in that I'm a lecturer, not a professor.

  17. Glen and Glenda Fiddich, South Hampton's favorite Siamese twins, were contemplating the sticky issue of who gets "shotgun" and who's driving the 'Cal down to the local courts for a rousing match of mixed doubles when they both realized it was after Labor Day and wearing white was out of the question.

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