Classic Captions – The 1961 Lotus Elite Edition


Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that are set to run this time each week, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week, it’s a marriage of convenience, but we will get to that later…


Last week, we had an image of the cast of the television show Mr. Ed, and all the responses played off that fact. The runner-up comment was from our very own Prize Mistress, $kaycog, and it went something lie this: “Mr. Ed can think of nothing neighgative to say about their new Lark, of course, of course.” This tied in the show’s theme song very well, so well done $kaycog.

However, it was a relative new-comer who stole the show (pun intended), and he goes by the screen name Paul E. This caption was the overwhelming favorite of the week, and it went like this: “The new Lark! Sticks to the road like glue!” This was very funny, and a great way to introduce yourself to the Hooniverse Family. Now, it’s time to set up an Intense Debate Account, so we can follow your pithy comments throughout the Hooniverse as well as our sister site, Atomic Toasters! So congratulations Paul E on a well done Classic Caption.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks image. This is an advertising image for the 1961 Lotus Elite, in a setting that looks like a man is trying to marry the car. There is a Priest (Minister, Vicar, Whatever) with a bible in his hands, a beautiful bouquet of flowers on a plinth, and what appears to be the groom, in the finest of wedding attire. I know some men carry the love of their car to great lengths, but this seems extreme. So, how do you think the marriage will be consummated? (on second thought, don’t answer that) I wonder if it is legal in the UK anyway. And what could Lotus be thinking when this idea for an advertisement was floated before them in the first place? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after contemplating our own caption, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very bizarre image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

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48 responses to “Classic Captions – The 1961 Lotus Elite Edition”

  1. $kaycog Avatar

    Congratulations, Paul E, on your winning caption! Here's a Studebaker Lark of your very own.
    <img src=""width="500"/&gt;

    1. dukeisduke Avatar

      The car? Wow. The woman? Gak!

      1. $kaycog Avatar

        I agree.

        1. needthatcar Avatar

          I disagree. Totally my type.

          1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
            Dean Bigglesworth

            +1 for you!
            She's just not Mr. $kaycog's type.. 😉

      2. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
        Dean Bigglesworth

        Huh, I guess there's no accounting for taste.. Kind of looks like someone I know, probably because of the same colour of hair, tattoos, and dress.
        Her deviantArt profile seems to have a lot of car photos, maybe this is more to your liking.
        <img src="; width="600" </img>
        Also it is just me, or does someone else think "devian tart" and not "deviant art" when reading deviantart?

        1. Paul E Avatar
          Paul E

          I'd like to thank my friends, my fellow Hoons, the Academy, ol' Paint, Wilbur and the judging firm of Whinny and Thud for the honor…
          I'll go with the car sans the girl; she's a bit too Stude-ly for my tastes! On the other hand, I'll pick up that St. Pauli Girl on the way home!
          Thanks, everyone!

    2. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

      Paul E! That was awesome!
      A brew for you, hombre!
      <img src=""&gt;

  2. dukeisduke Avatar

    "And this, son, is how you came to be."
    – Jeremy Clarkson's dad

  3. OA5599 Avatar

    From the company that brought you the Elan, Elise, Eleven, and Elite…The new Lotus Elope.
    Finally, a bride that won't complicate and add heaviness.

  4. needthatcar Avatar

    Hop-ons are no longer a sin.

  5. GTXcellent Avatar

    Do you promise to love, honour [sic], and cherish? Through sickness or health, tight esses and wide sweeping corners?

  6. $kaycog Avatar

    " If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, Lotus speak now."

  7. Gooberpeaz Avatar

    In the name of The Holy Trinity, I cast out the demons that possess this car. Out, I say!

    1. Devin Avatar

      Given that it's old and British, an electrician is probably a more efficient way of doing that.

      1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
        Dean Bigglesworth

        Or a chimney sweeper.

  8. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    The picture was cropped for advertising purposes. Present to the left of the groom, and unseen by you the reader, stood Colin Chapman himself, holding a shotgun.

  9. dwbf11 Avatar

    The wedding of Sir John Lucas, Lord of Darkness, and the Lotus Elite was a splendid affair. In fact, Sir Lucas even arranged for the lights in the chapel to all go off at the time of the ceremony, leaving only the altar illuminated.

  10. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    "Oh, baby, what I'm gonna do with you later…"

  11. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

    "And you thought it wasn't possible to show up wearing leather to our wedding"

  12. Devin Avatar

    Dave would soon find that after marriage, it would become much more difficult to get a ride.

  13. Kris_01 Avatar

    Confucious says, :"He who f*** tailpipe, have hot rod".

  14. Batshitbox Avatar

    "Mawwage …"

  15. Van_Sarockin Avatar

    Everyone agreed that the bride was (wiring) smokin' hot.

  16. nanoop Avatar

    The relatives were slightly shocked in the beginning, but after a while, they realized his qualities.

  17. Neen85 Avatar

    "Seriously honey?! You brought that damn car to our wedding?!?"
    "Well technically she's in the wedding my dear. Now please stand juuuust a bit further to my right, I just waxed her."

  18. mdharrell Avatar

    You know what the headline was the day before the election, "Candidate Kane found in love nest with quote, Singer, unquote." He was gonna take the quotes off the Singer. Mostly by pointing out that it's a Lotus.

  19. FЯeeMan Avatar

    The Lotus Elite for 1961. Every car comes from the factory with last rites administered to save you the hassle of resurrecting Lucas wiring and British steel.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      Until I read the write up, all I saw was funeral…

  20. Batshitbox Avatar

    In the tradition of Reginald's family, the marriage was consummated in the Lotus Position.

  21. racer139 Avatar

    While he was standing patiently waiting for those final words "you may now shift the bride" Arthur could'nt help but smirk as his bride to be's roof resembled the ministers balding dome.

  22. Tomsk Avatar

    Unbeknownst to Mark, his supposedly pure-as-the-fallen-snow bride was anything but: Not only had she previously posed for Motor Trend and Sports Car Graphic (including an on-the-hoist-looking-up shot in the former), but she was also a former dealer demonstrator.

  23. onrails Avatar

    Jim's long ignored friends knew he had been running with some Elite company for some time, but until now didn't know quite how bad it had gotten.

  24. hwyengr Avatar

    The 10 year anniversary photo:
    <img src="; width="300">
    The 20 year anniversary photo:
    <img src="; width="300">
    The widow:
    <img src="; width="300">

  25. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar

    "Here by I´ll declare you man and car, untill the dark prince aparts"

  26. I_Borgward Avatar

    A dream, svelte lines, leather. The promise of a wild ride.
    Your fate, bankrupt and living in a garage, hopes dashed.
    And then there was that damned Lotus.

  27. Waywords Avatar

    As time went by, Reginald would see his fashion sense vindicated, as his choice of 'black bar' sunglasses became all the rage with the New Wave crowd. But this small victory of prescience was overshadowed as the repair bills piled up and his beloved's addictions to oil and fuses became apparent. "Why?" he would cry out, "why, oh WHY didn't I ask for a prenup??"

  28. Paul E Avatar
    Paul E

    Sir John had the wedding photos redacted as he didn't want to let his wife and the rest of the world know he was a bigamist, shacking up with the Princess of Darkness. Not long after the bloom was off the rose and the warranty expired, her high beams quickly flickered and faded, her spark more and more intermittent, pungent Lucas smoke billowing off her brow. Years later, she was a fiberglass shell of herself, wires crossed and shorted, dooming him to life in his garage, never seeing the light of day again.

  29. scroggzilla Avatar

    Another marriage doomed by a high maintenance spouse. So sad.

  30. skitter Avatar

    It's a mistake, they said. Plastic body parts will never get you anywhere, they said.

  31. mac350 Avatar

    "Do you take this Elite for worse, for poorer, for sickness til death?"

  32. Van_Sarockin Avatar

    Not only didn't the bride wear white, but her jewelry was a bunch of obvious knock-offs.

  33. mkep819 Avatar

    A trophy wife, and a wife with trophies.

  34. darthmauled Avatar

    When he told his parents he finally found bride that would encourage his love of long hikes in the country they were glad…. if only they had known.

  35. PushrodRWD Avatar

    Their children and grand children went off to have a fine career modeling for album covers.
    <img src="

  36. Alcology Avatar

    Nice trade in.

  37. Vairship Avatar

    "Yes, YES!!! Ahem, yes Sir, this will work quite well as a tithing."

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