Classic Captions – The 1958 DeSoto Firemite Edition

14613794932_5348e76d48_k Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car or truck companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. I found this image on Alden Jewell’s Flick Photostream, and I knew I had to look into the history of this car, but we will get to that in a moment… 14571696114_2393331c86_h Last time, we had an image of a Great Dane in a Corvette, and the response level was pretty good, and for the most part, they were quite entertaining. I wish I could highlight all the very clever captions this time, but space dictates that I can’t. Devin almost made the runner-up position with his usual pointed caption: “Bitches love Corvettes”. Yes, short and to the point, but the runner up caption came from long time Hoon, Batshitbox, and his caption went like this: “Driving my red sports car, I can look at all the other drivers with ‘dis Dane.” This was one of the funniest captions all year, but there was one that you guys seemed to like better… And the winning comment once again came from PotbellyJoe ❤❤❤❤♡, and took a turn that no one expected: “”Damn Stan, that is an awesome dog, I didn’t know you owned one.” | “I didn’t. I was just out driving in this Corvette when I came up to an intersection. A woman walking this dog took off all of her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’” | “Good call, the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”” I am still laughing at this one, and I think most of you will as well, so congratulations PotbellyJoe ❤❤❤❤♡ on winning the classic caption contest this time. It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, this was just bizarre enough for the fans of this site to sink their teeth into. This is an advertising image for the 1958 DeSoto Firemite Convertible, which is a small “junior” facsimile of an actual full-sized DeSoto Adventurer Convertible. I had to do some research, and I discovered that Chrysler actually absorbed the tooling costs to build the car. The Firemite was built by the Robel Company in Pennsylvania, and the bodies were originally made out of Styrene Plastic, but because of the brittle nature of Styrene, the bodies were then produced out of fiberglass by Amroc of Long Island. They were powered by a 2 HP Briggs and Stratton 6B motor, with a go-kart like automatic centrifugal clutch type of gearbox. Only 325 of these Firemites were made, and most of them fell apart with their original Styrene Plastic Bodies. These cars were used as promotional items at DeSoto Dealers, as a way of boosting showroom traffic. It didn’t work, as sales of the 1958 DeSoto Line was down by almost 60% over the previous year. Let’s get back to the image for a moment, shall we? It shows a precocious (look it up!) young man in the drivers seat of the junior DeSoto, with a hot young thing looking at both the young man and his dashing Firemite. They are both way too young to even comprehend what type of relationship this is suppose to represent, so what the hell is this image all about? And is this really a way of selling a Full Size DeSoto to the Parents? (You can click here to see the full size image) You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (See other images for the Firemite Here, Here, and Here), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this dog-gone image. Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

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