Classic Captions – '76 Dodge Aspen R/T Edition

Dodge Aspen R/T
It’s Monday, which means you could probably use a mental jog and a bit of fun to brighten your day. What can do both? Well, Hooniverse’s Classic Captions Contest, of course! This week, we have a sporty young lady posing court-side with her ’76 Dodge Aspen R/T, both wearing white with avocado accents. What clever caption can you make from this overdose of 1970s fashion cues? And what captions made the grade from last week? Hit the jump to find out!

54lincoln-ad-large One response to last week’s trio of ’54 1953 Lincolns overshadowed all others by a huge margin. Hooniverse regular 0A5599 came up with it: “My pappy said, ‘Son, you’re gonna’ drive me to drinkin’ If you don’t stop drivin’ that Hot Rod, Fuel Economy, Trophy Wife Lincoln.’” Sporadic semi-regular Prince Halibrand was a distant second with his quip, “The desire for attention motivates men to plaster various eye-catching slogans, symbols and logos all over their cars and clothing. Women, on the other hand, just carry a vagina with them.” (I personally would have been tempted to go with “bare shoulders” instead, but most likely wouldn’t have gotten as many votes as he did, either.)

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30 responses to “Classic Captions – '76 Dodge Aspen R/T Edition”

  1. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    “Just waiting for stray balls so my insurance and I can finally afford that brown diesel wagon everybody keeps talking about”.

  2. onrails Avatar
    onrails

    Cecilia leaned against her Aspen’s door and caught her breath. She was missing a few tennis balls and after grabbing something round, green, and fuzzy that was lodged under the passenger seat she suddenly realized that she had left the balls in the trunk and finally discovered where that smell was coming from.

    1. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      “Damn UAW workers” thought Cecilia.

  3. neight428 Avatar
    neight428

    “Nice ’76 Dodge”, a compliment with a strong backhand.

    1. Wayne Moyer Avatar
      Wayne Moyer

      Nicely played.

  4. irishzombieman Avatar
    irishzombieman

    Just minutes later, the fledgling sport of Car Tennis died at birth in a crapstorm of wails, sirens, and bloody tennis whites.

  5. Wayne Moyer Avatar
    Wayne Moyer

    You’ve been served.
    or
    No love lost.

  6. fu Avatar
    fu

    “Don’t laugh, just because my serve is twice as fast as the car.”

  7. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    This lovely Dodge Aspen R/T was first prize for the ladies at Wimbledon in 1976. Second prize was two Dodge Aspen R/Ts.

  8. Mr.Roadrage Avatar
    Mr.Roadrage

    Let down by her poor hearing yet again, Jane waited in anticipation to give Cyril the Aston Martin he said he’d always wanted.

  9. Wayne Moyer Avatar
    Wayne Moyer

    Betty’s awkward smile was because there was someone still in the car as evidenced by the fact the brake lights were lit up.

  10. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    The Aspen R/T’s approval ratings were love, at first sight.

    1. smalleyxb122 Avatar
      smalleyxb122

      Then they went to deuce.

  11. GTXcellent Avatar
    GTXcellent

    Just think, in the 40 years since that pic was taken, I bet that model STILL looks more youthful than that ungainly Dodge

  12. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    Renee Richards poses with her new Dodge. The R/T designation and bold graphics indicated “muscle car” but underneath it was something altogether different. She found that reassuring.

  13. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    Ooh, girls in tennis dresses and an R/T?
    Love all.

    1. Van_Sarockin Avatar
      Van_Sarockin

      Spread the love.

  14. mdharrell Avatar

    “… last week’s trio of ’54 Lincolns….”
    Perhaps my comment last week was too subtle, but honestly, those are ’53 Lincolns, not ’54s.

    1. theskitter Avatar

      What’s the deal with all the female tennis players named Lincoln, and how can you tell?

    2. Tanshanomi Avatar

      What? I don’t actually READ the comments, you know. Thanks for the correction.

  15. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    This car makes as much sense as the scoring system in tennis.

  16. 0A5599 Avatar
    0A5599

    Jimmy invited Candy to her first game of Strip Tennis, and said she would be able to check out his “hot rod”. She tried not to let her disappointment show when she realized he meant a game played on a quarter mile of asphalt with a Dodge F-body.

  17. Infamous007 Avatar
    Infamous007

    Match point

  18. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    The difference between owning an Aspen R/T and tennis elbow is you can recover from tennis elbow.

  19. Prince Halibrand Avatar
    Prince Halibrand

    She sensibly had a substantial underlayer beneath that white exterior. The Aspen’s sheet metal, alas, did not. That’s why R/T eventually stood for “Rust Thru”

  20. Van_Sarockin Avatar
    Van_Sarockin

    Love All is better, and worse, than you might think.

  21. Car_Door Avatar
    Car_Door

    Ted: “What an appalling racket!”
    Jennifer: “Hey! I just bought you that racquet, it was almost $30”
    Ted: “No no no. My tennis racquet is just fine, but the noise coming from Linda’s Dodge over there is pathetic!”

  22. Guest Avatar
    Guest

    While less successful than the first one, “Unsafe at Any Speed, Part II”, was definitely the better read, what with it’s woeful tales of “sporty” Aspens with stripes and decals and “sporty” middle-aged women with Botox, and revealing sports wear.

  23. Lokki Avatar
    Lokki

    After her Aspen double-faulted for the third time Kathy decided to look for a match, and not a tennis match either.

  24. hwyengr Avatar
    hwyengr

    New for ’76, the Arthur Ashe Aspen!

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