If you’ve been following along with our recent rampant of Hooniverse Classic Captions Contests, a fair amount of the retro press images I’ve selected depict said featured car amidst some type of active sport or form of mighty fine outdoor recreation. A while back we took a close look at an Oldsmobile Fiernza poached at the bottom of a slope in Winter Park, and then the other week a boxy W-140 S-Class invaded the local climbing crag. Now were firing ahead another arrow with Fiat’s 1995 Coupé.
Before jumping into this Italian Robin Hood scene unfolding, here are the four best comments from our last contest. Clearly Brian was feeling extra confident after flashing his first 5.8 the other month and wanted to show all of his climbing buddies he can achieve anything, even by securing a ridiculous lease on this ’98 Mercedes. Student loan payments can always wait, Brian.
Classic Captions Contest: 1995 Fiat Coupé Edition
15 responses to “Classic Captions Contest: 1995 Fiat Coupé Edition”
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It says so right there in the manual, read it for yourself, “Chapter One, Roadside Assistance: Affix weatherproof “ASSISTANCE REQUESTED” ribbon to arrow, aim along roadway in the direction of nearest civilization, release at a 45 degree incline.”
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“Yes, they’re crossbow bolts, but my mechanic assured me they’re just as good as OEM.”
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The low-budget Italian remake of The Terminator made some really odd choices, but there was something admirably low-key about eschewing Skynet to have the T-1000 try and prevent the Bangle Butt.
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The Fiat isn’t the only thing in the picture that has big twin-bubble headlights.
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“I sure appreciate you stopping to give me a ride. Just let me… heh darned thing… get this bow unstrung Mrs…?”
“Stanwyck. And your name?”
“Fletch. Fletch Fletcher.” -
Shapely European looks, or fiddling with your bow. The choice seems clear.
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Fiat’s design team never realized the slashes on their concept were never intended to be part of the car, having been applied by a wayward archer with bad aim.
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“Did you think I was joking when I said this thing is powered by rubber bands? We’ll be on our way again once I’ve finished winding it back up.”
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Noting the big headlights on the girl as well as the car, Antonio’s arrow shot straight up.
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“Great shot! Fire it again, Tony.”
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“I don’t think this is how it’s supposed to be done, Robin.” Marian said as he dropped off her new FIAT.
“Nonsense, my dear lady – I got this from the rich dealer over in Sherwood, and I’m giving it to you!”
“Yes, but Robin darling, I’m not poor. You take from the rich, and give to the poor don’t you?”
“Ah, but that is the genius in this my sweet Marian… after a few repair visits, you will be among their ranks. It’s prophetic! You can thank me later.” -
The Fiat grew more and more unconvinced that this “tiny shot” “wouldn’t hurt a bit”.
And the apprehension was apparent. -
I figure if we use this to shoot the timing belt into the side of the engine bay, we can change it without having to lift the engine out like the workshop manual says..
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“Chris Bangle did quite a good job on this, didn’t he?”
“Yeah. An arrow through the shoulder will force him to quit while he’s ahead” -
“How did the bow fit in the car? Well that’s pretty obvious if you think about it. I mean look at the size of the arrows. Any bow that can fire these small arrows can fit into that little Fiat there. Easy peezy, fresh and squeezy. Now if you don’t mind I have some cold fusion logic to work on for Fiat. They are looking to power the next Punto. So if you will just get back in and sit next to the bow we’ll be right off”
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