Classic Captions Contest: 1995 Fiat Coupé Edition


If you’ve been following along with our recent rampant of Hooniverse Classic Captions Contests, a fair amount of the retro press images I’ve selected depict said featured car amidst some type of active sport or form of mighty fine outdoor recreation. A while back we took a close look at an Oldsmobile Fiernza poached at the bottom of a slope in Winter Park, and then the other week a boxy W-140 S-Class invaded the local climbing crag. Now were firing ahead another arrow with Fiat’s 1995 Coupé.

Before jumping into this Italian Robin Hood scene unfolding, here are the four best comments from our last contest. Clearly Brian was feeling extra confident after flashing his first 5.8 the other month and wanted to show all of his climbing buddies he can achieve anything, even by securing a ridiculous lease on this ’98 Mercedes. Student loan payments can always wait, Brian.

“C’mon, Dad said we had to have the car back by 6!”-outback_ute

“Why yes, this is indeed my Mercedes. Him? No, he’s just my spotter– not my type. But you, on the other hand…”-Zentropy

“Mercedes engineers spent countless hours developing a vehicle that would self-destruct just as the warranty was expiring. Unfortunately, the marketing team had to inform them ‘Like a Rock’ was already trademarked.”-0A5599

“Jim’s never failing optimism since the divorce had landed him in some odd situations. First he lost the house but fell into a good find on a used Mercedes (only 93 months at 21% interest). ‘But’, he thought to himself as he unloaded the ropes from the trunk, ‘these two seem like they’re maybe interested in more than some climbing, right’ Like the old saying goes, give someone enough rope and they’ll hang themselves.”-onrails

Think for a minute, about various hobbies or recreational activities either you indulge in or observe people doing. I for one, know that the majority of my friends who’d rather be out hugging trees than sitting in front of a television glowing with Netflix, mostly drive hatchbacks or station wagons, especially Subarus. Most people I know that like, well, country “Amurica” things, bomb around in old 2000s Pontiacs with stickers littered across the back window and a can of dip in their left hand, or lifted Ford or Dodge diesel trucks with their mirrors goofily extended, pretending to tow something out of compensation. Perhaps the classiest of elites that prefer crocheting over basketball, hand-writing a thank you letter with a $1,000 ink pen over texting, choose the Bentley Bentayga as their preferred mode of transport. But what about…the Fiat crowd? What past times would an owner of a sharp Fiat Coupe take pride in? Archery? Racquetball? Stamp collecting?
This confusing ’90s press image from Fiat above hints that anyone who drives home a Coupé, must be infatuated with the fine practice of archery. Many questions arise however. Is this a test drive gone wrong? Why is Claudia dressed like it’s steaming hot July in Milan, while Ricardo is wearing layers heavier than his wallet will be with receipts from perpetual visits to his local Fiat mechanic? What are they shooting at? Why are Ricardo’s arrows so small? Did the bow come with the car?

Be the creator of this story in the comments, ciao.

By |2018-07-10T08:00:05+00:00July 10th, 2018|Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest|15 Comments

About the Author:

Robby DeGraff is a freelance writer and photographer based in Wisconsin. He once piloted a Suzuki Jimny around Iceland for two weeks in the middle of winter, daily drives a Saabaru, and lusts to some day own a first-generation Aston Martin Vanquish.