Classic Captions: 1986 Chevy Camaro Z-28 Edition

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This is the part where I introduce this week’s photo and point out a few things to get you excited about developing a witty caption. I mention something cringe-worthy about the car, or point out something about the surrounding image set-up that is hokey, faddish, dated, nonsensical, or annoying.
Obviously, none of that be necessary this week.

gurgel-g-15-03Many of the responses to last week’s Gurgel brochure photo focused — somewhat predictably — on the perceived poor quality and/or unreliability of the Brazilian-made truck. That’s why I was delighted that both of the top vote-getters eschewed a cheap shot at the G-15L’s expense. Commentariat major-leaguer Alff was up to his typically punny antics: “Thank goodness this bridge is here. It’s a Gurgel, not a Ford.” The usual stream of equally torturous puns came in reply. The Real Number_Six took the high road with a comparatively cerebral and quite topical caption: “‘…and we’ll put the velodrome right over there,’ said João to an incredulous audience of one gaucho, 35 years too soon.” Congrats to both, and kudos to all the voters for recognizing worthy content!

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  1. Tiberiuswise Avatar

    Vanilla Ice? Never heard of him.

  2. 0A5599 Avatar
    0A5599

    GM was totally oblivious in the 80’s. They ran this “Red Hot Attraction” ad thinking buyers would want a red car, but completely missed out on the magnetic qualities of the color yellow.
    http://www.jumpingfrog.com/images/magads4/mas6844.jpg

  3. nanoop Avatar
    nanoop

    Short version: ” ‘Yellow,’ he thought.”
    Long version:
    “God what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked at himself in the wardrobe mirror. He stuck out his tongue. “Yellow,” he thought. The word yellow wandered through his mind in search of something to connect with.
    Fifteen seconds later he was out of the house and sitting in a Z28 in front of a big yellow window decoration that was advancing up his garden.”
    With apologies to D. Adams.

    1. Wayne Moyer Avatar
      Wayne Moyer

      Nicely played. I have four piles of fluff and a cup of notea for you to go find now. I have also made a reservation at a restaurant that you can drive that Camaro to.

  4. GTXcellent Avatar
    GTXcellent

    Wow, even the mannequins can hear the door panels rattle and the dash squeak

  5. Prince Halibrand Avatar
    Prince Halibrand

    “Oh no, an infiltrator from Redland!” shouted Princess Tankshorts. “There shall never be red in The Kingdom of Yellow and Blue!” replied her mother, Queen Bitchysmock. “Quickly! Kill him, Robonauts!”

  6. theskitter Avatar

    Ah, young louvers, always hoping to get caught in the rain.

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar
      1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
        Dean Bigglesworth

  7. Douche_McGee Avatar
    Douche_McGee

    My buddy had one of these as his first car – silver w/ dark gray accents. Sadly it was totaled out due to Hurricane Sandy.
    My caption – “Billy was high as fuck, and didn’t realize the “3 hotties” that wanted to bone him in his Camaro were only mannequins”.
    It sucked, but it’s early, and I haven’t had any caffeine yet

    1. cap'n fast Avatar
      cap’n fast

      yes, it did suck. but. it displays an innate measure of knowledge of what camaro owners must do in order to regain their self respect when they awaken the morning after the purchase and realize that once again they have drank the KoolAid.

  8. The Real Number_Six Avatar
    The Real Number_Six

    But Banksy’s greatest and most mysterious feat of all was turning up as Boy George in a 1986 Chevrolet advertisement…

  9. Wayne Moyer Avatar
    Wayne Moyer

    Andy Samberg didn’t care about the Mannequin remake. He was only here for the M.A.S.K remake and he places to be.

  10. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    The Z-28? It’s my primary means of transportation.

  11. Citric Avatar
    Citric

    Models made out of the same high quality plastic as the interior.

  12. Volvo_Nut Avatar

    “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.”
    http://www.avclub.com/article/there-are-3-captions-work-every-new-yorker-cartoon-225766

  13. Manic_King Avatar
    Manic_King

    In Sweden, the car Sven-Erik had brought from Minnesota caused mainly stone faced consternation.

    1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

      In Sweden, Eddie Meduza.

  14. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
    Dean Bigglesworth

    I don’t have a caption, but in Finland around 1986 a Trans-Am, particularly the seating compartment aft of the driver made the wimmin rather excited. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjzYUDd7sow

    1. Manic_King Avatar
      Manic_King

      Had those tax dodger -aminos been real hatchbacks, there could have been just enough room for fold flat sofa-bed, Chevy Conversion Van stylee.
      http://hooniverse.info/2010/08/12/finlands-bizarre-f-body-camaromino-infatuation/
      http://i0.wp.com/hooniverse.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Copy-of-firebirdmino_1.jpg

      1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
        Dean Bigglesworth

        Don’t forget the tax dodger Astros and Caprices and Vans and….

      2. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
        Dean Bigglesworth

        Imagine what you could do in those! Also I seem to have already upvoted some comments on that thread back in… 2010.

  15. Lokki Avatar
    Lokki

    Girl on bike thinks:
    “He thinks he looks so cool…I can’t wait till he realizes the meter maid booted his right front tire”

  16. Inliner Avatar
    Inliner

    Even the mannequins had to marvel at how straight the panel gaps were on Jimmy’s new Camaro.

  17. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    I ROCK this Z-28!